Calling people with NPD

Narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is a problematic neurological condition. It shows up on brain scans.

You are not deliberately creating it, you have it, and you are not deliberately refusing to cure yourself. I know that.

In your anonymous comments, please leave notes about how society might be able to help you be your best selves and hurt less inside.

Your comments will not be published instantly. That is the standard setting on this site.

(I will likely remove comments from people who do not have NPD, and who need to vent.)

I genuinely want to hear from all of you, that is, read your comments, added from your computer, tablet, or phone, not just from the people who believe that they own me or used to own me in the past).

Have any of you tried medications to do with oxytocin, or Prozac, or something else? Did that work for you? Do you have any other conditions that are related to this?

Have you pretended to be, for example, merely deeply depressed (which you probably often are), in order to receive any support? How did that work out?

Because for you, talking openly about what you need is usually a no no, so you need to do it anonymously.

Because the world is mostly obsessed with the negative aspects of your condition (understandably).

And because to my knowledge, shrinks don’t really know what to do with you, how to support you, either.

Because all of this makes me curious about what we might be able to do that might really make a difference.

Because if you hurt less inside, that will make the world a better place for all of us. Because a lot of what you do says “THIS MUCH is how I hurt inside, but I can’t let myself feel that, so I am making you feel it instead”.

By the way, it is my understanding that reading “The Little Prince” by Antoine de Saint-Exupéry can help. Because it can help you learn how adults are supposed to behave, I think. But also because it may comfort you.



It is my personal impression that if you have NPD, having friends in your life with a strong zen attitude and a thorough awareness of the condition, and perhaps also particularly someone who can serve as your business manager, depending on your situation, can make a big difference.

2 thoughts on “Calling people with NPD

  1. I have another theory. The nature of NPD is such that it reinforces itself in the brain, and learning comes from repetition. The noisiest neurons get most attention.

    What if you can have a therapy that creates and strengthens other pathways in the brain?

    Fear is strong in the brains of people with NPD. Shouldn’t be possible to create exercises that diminish that fear?

    We used to think that neurons don’t regenerate and lots of other things that turned out not to be true. New technologies are developed all the time that can help stimulate the development or healing of certain cells as well.


    I did a few quick searches and I first ran into this.
    If even pregnancy can lead to long-lasting changes in the brain…

    “Elizabeth Phelps and her colleagues (Olsson & Phelps 2004) have shown that people can learn to fear an object (such as a blue square) simply by watching someone else being conditioned to fear that object, because each time the blue square is presented the person observed receives a painful shock. This learning by observation occurs even when the conditioned stimulus (the blue square) is masked and the observer is unable to report when this stimulus occurs.”

    If that is possible, the opposite should also be possible, and it might also be possible for people with NPD.


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