My nose never goes “whatup whatup” when I blow my nose and it never howls/whines/begs like a pining puppy either.

Neither do I very loudly blow my nose around the time when my downstairs neighbour is about to crawl into bed or has just crawled into bed. So how can the reverse be possible?

I am a scientist. I don’t have set bed times etc. So I know that this is scientifically impossible. 

In any normal given situation, that is, in which no stalking (including hacking) occurs.