What is the biggest enabler of child (sex) abuse and its effects?

Secrecy.

Others pretending that it is not happening and that it never happened.

Others wanting to hush it all up forever and ever and ever.

But the wish to “protect” the child or later adult in a way blames the child, if you think about it. It imposes a burden, one of shame and embarrassment, doesn’t it?

You do not hide the fact that someone had appendicitis or broke his leg as a child, after all, though the leg may still be weaker as a result.

Openness says:

“It should never have happened to you and you are not to blame and you are fine just the way you are. It had nothing to do with you as a person, just the fact that you were somewhere at a specific point in time where you encountered a specific person or specific persons”.

“Had you been somewhere else, it is very likely that nothing would have happened to you.

But once something did happen to you, the ball started rolling and it wasn’t you who was rolling the ball. You were the powerless ball.”

That it is not always quite as simple as this, I do know.

But the blame game has to stop. People who were abused as children have nothing to be ashamed of, just like a ball or a bucket or car tire or door cannot be blamed for getting kicked.

(Just some random thoughts that occurred to me with regard to two specific people I ran into in the UK.)

 

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