I just received some e-mails from “Ann Sherman” asking the following:
“Are you aware of any research or anecdotal reports on how successful moving far away is in stopping a sadistic stalker?”
That was followed by:
“Experts advise relocation to escape a sadistic stalker. I sold my home and moved far away to escape an acquaintance renter neighbor. What do experts say about the true effectiveness of this in actually escaping the stalker for good?”
“I have read studies where about twenty percent of survivors of various types of stalkers, not just sadistic as I experienced, said they thought the stalking stopped because they moved away.”
“Also read a study of 3000 stalking survivors who were asked if they ever got closure. Only one said she did because her stalker killed himself. Which brings up the interesting point of how do you know when the stalking has truly stopped?”
It is the steam engine effect. If you pester people relentlessly for a long time in a sinister and obscure way, they may continue to think that they are still being pestered, long after the pestering has stopped.
Just like when heat gets applied to water, it evaporates and continues to drive the engine when the water itself is gone.
That is not quite “going with the flow” or, rather, a different kind of going with the flow. Sometimes, you have to be the rock.
“Ann” is a name a particular person ha often used for me. It stems from a long period in which I was trying to find a better nickname for myself. Having moved around through various cultures – some with, some without the habit of using nicknames – means that I accumulated several nicknames and I no longer liked any of them. I “contemplated” Ann for a while. I’ve essentially been living without nicknames for many years now. When people ask, I usually give them my most recent one. It doesn’t matter.
A related person felt that “Ann” suited me very well, that I was an “Ann”. That person has a dog these days who used to be called Tank, but I am sure that that is a mere coincidence. It is quite funny, though. It makes me smile.