What is the biggest enabler of child (sex) abuse and its effects?

Secrecy.

Others pretending that it is not happening and that it never happened.

Others wanting to hush it all up forever and ever and ever.

But the wish to “protect” the child or later adult in a way blames the child, if you think about it. It imposes a burden, one of shame and embarrassment, doesn’t it?

You do not hide the fact that someone had appendicitis or broke his leg as a child, after all, though the leg may still be weaker as a result.

Openness says:

“It should never have happened to you and you are not to blame and you are fine just the way you are. It had nothing to do with you as a person, just the fact that you were somewhere at a specific point in time where you encountered a specific person or specific persons”.

“Had you been somewhere else, it is very likely that nothing would have happened to you.

But once something did happen to you, the ball started rolling and it wasn’t you who was rolling the ball. You were the powerless ball.”

That it is not always quite as simple as this, I do know.

But the blame game has to stop. People who were abused as children have nothing to be ashamed of, just like a ball or a bucket or car tire or door cannot be blamed for getting kicked.

(Just some random thoughts that occurred to me with regard to two specific people I ran into in the UK.)

 

About that honking

My nose never goes “whatup whatup” when I blow my nose and it never howls/whines/begs like a pining puppy either.

Neither do I very loudly blow my nose around the time when my downstairs neighbour is about to crawl into bed or has just crawled into bed. So how can the reverse be possible?

I am a scientist. I don’t have set bed times etc. So I know that this is scientifically impossible. 

In any normal given situation, that is, in which no stalking (including hacking) occurs.

Why I don’t do hints?

Why don’t I do hints?

  1. Only the person who gives the hint knows that it is a hint.
  2. If it is a hint, only the person who gives the hint knows what it means.
  3. Paying attention to “hints” is a recipe for mental illness.
  4. Normal human communication works MUCH better.
  5. Apparently, Brits are the only ones who understand their hints anyway.
  6. (Are there any other cultures who do this hinting? That is highly unlikely as it all stems from the rule of Queen Victoria.)
  7. Why anonymous hints? Why anonymous?
  8. Period.