Met a stranger with covert NPD at Aldi today


We were at the checkout.

I dashed back to get some cheese. And found her messing around with my groceries. What was she doing? She removed the divider, trying to get my items included into the previous customer’s shopping, causing delays for all of us. I checked, but my stuff was still there and nothing had been added.

I looked at her, and yes…

The “I am ugly and invisible and insignificant” disguise. She almost made me laugh, in a good way.
(Oh, do I know what it looks like!)

Face almost entirely hidden under a big beanie-type hat. Bland look on her face and oh in her eyes, lol. And that sense of wonder of “Did I get caught? Did she see what I did?”

I specifically wished her a good day too when I left and I am pretty damn sure that she heard me. Had never seen her before, by the way, as far as I know.

The cashier – no, not exactly born yesterday, that one 🙂 , and always very cheerful and confident – had noticed her messing too and I saw that she had a moment of concern (wondering for a second what that customer had been doing with the groceries of the two other customers) but I said nothing – of course! – which put it out of her mind (and ruined the “fun” for whoever the other woman was). No big deal. 

2 thoughts on “Met a stranger with covert NPD at Aldi today

  1. Why she did what she did? She wanted to “punish” me for having dashed back into the store, expecting me to make everyone wait. (She couldn’t know that, but I don’t do that if I can help it. I go back for one specific item of which I know exactly where to find it so that I know I will be back in time and before I dash back, I estimate whether there is enough time. I do sometimes misjudge it, for example when I find a few aisles blocked. I am not saying I am flawless.)

    Now here is the thing. Most of us – including me in the past or in the wrong mood – would have made a big fuss. And then you often find yourself having the situation on your hand that makes everyone say ugly things about people with NPD. If you just shrug about what happened if it is not really a big deal, chuckle inside yourself and say nothing, you won’t have ruined your own mood either – and nothing else happens.

    With strangers and friends, this is easy to do (once you learn to recognize the situation), but with a spouse or live-in partner, it is a lot harder, also because you have to preserve at least some degree of sincerity and honesty in the relationship.

    But there too… if you don’t make a big fuss while still acknowledging what happened, for instance chuckling and perhaps saying “that was a little bit childish, wasn’t it” in the mildest and most neutral of tones, and then immediately progressing to something else, such as handing the person a cup of coffee, a piece of chocolate or a glass of wine (or asking what the person’s day was like) – so that there is no time for the other person to start wondering if maybe there was a hint of an “accusation” in what you said and begin an argument – you may find that you can preserve peace every once in a while without feeling that you are short-changing yourself.

    Btw, I am pretty sure that I just passed her in the street. She remembered me.

    I admit that I was a tiny little bit ticked off when it happened, because that is just how we are. Maybe it is possessiveness over things that I felt were mine kicked in, or maybe it is some kind of territorial thing. I am not sure where my response came from, but I kept it in check.

    If you see people with NPD with your heart, funnily enough, you often find that there is a lot of beauty and tenderness in them, and a genuine desire to make the world a better place.

    I occasionally see it in Trump too, except, he and I have very different opinions about what would make the world a better place. But once you start seeing the small hurt child side, or whatever exactly it is, they can’t really push your buttons any longer (even if they think they do, which can be really exhausting). I don’t know how to explain that in words that make clear what I really mean.

    Having had Trump in the White House was not necessarily a bad thing. Because it forced many people to take position and decide that there are things that they don’t want to see happen to the world and that they have to make a stand if they don’t want them to happen.

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