I’ve been wanting to make a video about this – about negotiating – for a while. I may do that today.

In the Guardian this morning:

After a three-hour summit with the European commission chief, Ursula von der Leyen, failed to bridge major gaps between them, the prime minister said he was prepared to “go the extra mile” by flying to Paris or Berlin for face-to-face talks with EU leaders.

But he said the EU’s current offer was unacceptable because the UK could not be treated like its twin.

“It was put to me that this was kind of a bit like twins, and the UK is one twin the EU is another, and if the EU decides to have a haircut then the UK is going to have a haircut or else face punishment. Or if the EU decides to buy an expensive handbag then the UK has to buy an expensive handbag too or else face tariffs,” he said.

“Clearly that is not the sensible way to proceed and it’s unlike any other free trade deal. It’s a way of keeping the UK kind of locked in the EU’s … regulatory orbit.”

Johnson’s language echoed his condemnation of Theresa May’s Brexit deal. After he resigned as foreign secretary in 2018, he told that year’s Tory party conference that Britain must not be “locked in the tractor beam of Brussels”.

It all sounds… really childish to me, sounds like Boris Johnson did not really hear – understand – a word of what Von der Leyen said.

And what in god’s name is “Britain must not be “locked in the tractor beam of Brussels” other than ridiculous rhetoric, the kind of emotion-triggering language that got Trump into the White House and got many English people to feel terrified of the EU without being able to explain why they felt that way when they voted “out” in that non-binding referendum.

Johnson: “What I told the cabinet this evening is to get on and make those preparations.”

Same language we’ve been hearing since the day after the referendum, isn’t it? It is not the government’s fault. It is never the government’s fault. Never the fault of the PM who tells us all to get on with it. It is the fault of for example Britain’s businesses “not getting on with it” while it’s the government that has been sitting on its ass since the day after the referendum and done absolutely nothing.

Other than waste the taxpayer’s money on things like reports that sounded as if they’d been written by a 12-year-old, literally, for a school project, and “Brexit coins” and other ridiculous nonsense.

And antagonize the rest of the world.

And not only turn Britain into a laughing stock but expose its flaws, the flaws that all Brits are only too familiar with but that the rest of the world had not been aware of yet.

The UK government has undermined Britain’s position in the world substantially and this is also painfully clear to many millions of helpless Brits.

The original tractor beam. Yes, the phrase comes from science fiction. American science fiction.

Turns out that Anastacia predicted this (in the year that I moved to the UK). Sort of. Video below.

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairy tale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay, I don't feel safe

I don't feel safe, ohh

Left broken empty in despair
Want to breathe can't find air
Thought you were sent from up above
But you and me never had love
So much more I have to say
Help me find a way

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I tell ya
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Why do you play me like a game?
Always someone else to blame
Careless, helpless little man
Someday you might understand
There's not much more to say
But I hope you find a way

Still I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I tell ya
All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray

Ohh, pray 
Ohh, Heavenly Father
Save me, ohh 
Whoa

And I wonder if you know
How it really feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

I said I said
I wonder if you know
How it feels
To be left outside alone
When it's cold out here
Well maybe you should know
Just how it feels
To be left outside alone
To be left outside alone

All my life I've been waiting
For you to bring a fairytale my way
Been living in a fantasy without meaning
It's not okay I don't feel safe
I need to pray