One went out to Team Forleo because you never know what tips they might come up with, though I am not holding my breath.
Another one went to Karyn Greenstreet who’s been a wonderful business coach for decades, together with her English husband, who is also her business partner. I interacted with her when I was still based in Amsterdam. I still benefit from the many good tips she and the people she works with have doled out over the years.
Is that not done here in Portsmouth? Well, deal with it.
And stop making my mouse pointer sticky just to fuck with me some more.
(Asking for advice in England? Been there done that. Too often all you get is abusive shit or useless crap flung into your face, sometimes peppered with a few insults about daft Americans.)
I sometimes get the impression that you think that if you make it impossible for me to make a living, I will move in with you.
This is not how it works.
If you continue to make it impossible for me to support myself, the last thing I would do is move in with ANYONE, with the possible exception of my Dutch siblings, who you do not want me to be in contact with because you think they are evil or otherwise flawed.*
This just isn’t how it works as seen from my side.
It may look totally logical from your side – I get that – but the main thing you often do, sadly, is make me fearful and angry and this is why I would not at all move in with you or with anyone else.
I often feel that you are keeping me prisoner. I do not feel “loved” by you.
Am I willing to talk with you about this? Yes, of course, but I would like to have someone present who can serve as an intermediary because… you very often scare me (but also make me angry). And I often seem to make you angry and frustrated. So I need a translator. And you need a translator. Can you understand that?
I am sorry that I undoubtedly often gave you the wrong impression. (That is why I need a “translator” to talk with you. Know what I mean?)
*(Yes, my siblings are much more materialistic – always have been – and they concern themselves more with appearances, but that does not make them evil. You also have to keep in mind that they continued to interact with my dad for a long time – decades – and may still have some healing to do because of that (and that had not occurred to me until recently as I already cut off all contact around 40 years ago) and that is not the only thing that affected my siblings that they may still have to do some healing about. They’re humans, not robots.)
(Another attempt to find out what else I may be dealing with besides Portsmouth’s regular community bullying. Because the many hints for so many years about who this was supposed to be simply have never added up for logistic reasons. That person is part of it but whatever is going on extends beyond him and does not even seem to be primarily coming from that person – though that is hard to know for sure, under the circumstances.)
So, this morning, my 32-bit computer has already frozen twice. First, during an e-mail I was composing and second, when I was about to write this post.
See, after the computer froze the first time, I spotted yet another mysterious browser tab opened, about the app “Sensemaker Collector”.
Some 10 days ago, I found two new tabs opened on the site “chemist 4 u”. I did not know about that site, had not visited it, but had been looking for something of which I didn’t know whether it was available in the UK (IPA, also known as rubbing alcohol, I believe).
Within the past months, I have browser tabs seen opened on the topic of marriage, about the song “Exile” by Tailor Swift and a few other bits and pieces. Roger Daltrey doing a u-turn on his assessment of the effect of Brexit, too, popped up on my screen recently.
My immediate downstairs neighbour was doing some new strange stuff overnight again. (It seemed to have woken me up.)
There is more. On 14 January 2021, I received a once-only automated gmail reply to a message sent on 13 January. That was odd, as autoresponders tend to act instantly. Was there a gmail outage on 13 or 14 January? I checked. YES, THERE WERE GMAIL PROBLEMS THAT DAY! (You have no idea how pleased I was to discover that! When you’ve been subjected to all kinds of hacking for a long time, including messing with e-mail, all you want is logical explanations for any deviations that have nothing to do with hacking.) https://downdetector.com/status/gmail/news/360540-problems-at-gmail/
For years, I have been scoffing at police officers who say things like “just block the person on Facebook” when your equipment gets hacked.
Today, someone asked me a question that puzzled me for a moment and it got me thinking.
Most people really have no idea what “getting hacked” means.
It means that someone takes full control over your equipment and can override – and change and delete – anything you do.
This is what happens when big companies get hacked. Someone gets into their equipment or gets into the “thing” that they are (like Twitter). They may do damage – break stuff – but they may also simply copy lots of data. Because when big names get hacked, it is frequently to get at data that can be sold on the black market. Credit card data, for example.
Because it is these big names that make the news when they get hacked, it seems that a lot of people may think that when a person “gets hacked”, it has something to do with those big name companies. Like Facebook. Or Yahoo. And that it is just your password that got stolen, so all you need to do is change your password and block anyone who is hassling you.
But that is not what getting hacked, as an individual, is.
Getting hacked is comparable with, say, your heating’s thermostat going completely haywire and you having no control over it. (Picture an invisible person standing there in your home and fiddling with the thermostat.)
It won’t help you to go change the thermostat setting at, say, the McDonalds in town. You need to get your own thermostat fixed and possible your heating system as well because it may have been affected. You may even have to get a whole new heating system and redo the wiring. Or more, such as do something to the water pipes.
But going to McDonalds or KFC – or Argos or any of the other places that have a lot of online orders – and changing the setting on the thermostat there won’t help you one bit.
Stop playing silly games. Are you people all between 5 and 10 years old and in that stage at which you test the adults’ patience or do you all have a narcissistic personality disorder, perhaps? Are you all Boris Johnson clones? WHAT?
I very very rarely hear back from anyone at PCC (and when I do hear back, it is usually only 6 to 12 months later). There’s plenty of silly insulting game-playing going on at PCC that is against English law, however. (Ask Mr Thomas Young. Ask GVJ, too.)
I have to ask clients in the Netherlands to call GVJ to get to talk with you people? That’s RIDICULOUS. That’s a disgrace!
Karel Keesman, a professor at Wageningen University who does not even know me personally, called last time.
Should he really call you again? Why would he, after the local hacking forced me to stop accepting any work from my clients in academia as of 29 September 2020?
If I had known that Portsmouth was such a disgusting smelly cesspool in which 5-to-10-year-olds muck about day in day out, making fun of the grownups who they love to see fall with their faces in the muck, I would never have moved here in the first place.
Southampton was unpleasant but it was nothing like Portsmouth.
All that bizarre class shit and other kinds of disgusting bigotry (that also seem to be at the root of all the hateful hostile local bullying crap) here in Portsmouth are a disgrace! Shameful!
In the past, I have contacted the Red Cross about this, the United Nations and also my Embassy (but I did the latter anonymously, from an e-mail address that I have only used for my communications with the Embassy; all they can do is come visit you should you end up in prison here). A colleague of mine in Amsterdam once reported me missing to Dutch police, in a period when there was a heck of lot of messing with my e-mail. All Dutch police did was… e-mail me. They wanted me to e-mail a selfie back. I initially was very angry about my colleague having gone to Dutch police because he thought that they would contact my local police and that would likely have led to even more local crap. But I understand why he did it.
I received a phone call this afternoon that I could not answer for some reason. When I tried to call the person’s switchboard/central number, the call would not go out. When I called the person’s direct line, I got a voice mail message telling me that she was unavailable. I left a voicemail and sent the e-mail messages below.
This one resonates with me, a lot. I’d never heard of Koya Webb before but I like here a lot! I have a lot in common with her. Did not want to go to the Olympics but have always been a runner, for example, until very recently. I started when I was still in primary school.
I just got a message that my deceased friend HVP has joined Telegram.
She was Dutch. I’d known H since the late 1980s. She was a physicist who became a policymaker who worked at the EU, among other places. Her PhD thesis was on surface melts of lead crystals. Solid state physics. (There is some overlap with earth science. Every earth scientist worth his or her salt has looked at articles published in physics journals.)
H was also a very dedicated modern dancer at a high level.
Until progressive MS put a stop to all of that. Very fast thinker. I loved working with her even though we often disagreed on certain things. We had different preferences, different views on some things.
But if you needed to work with someone to really get things done, she was it. I don’t think there’s ever been anyone else I so enjoyed working with. (She and I did a lot of the organization including publicity for one or two symposiums and that was a lot of fun. Too long ago…)
We had dance in common too. I saw a lot of modern ballet in those days, at the theaters. Modern dance. I danced flamenco for a short while and I remember she recommended someone to me after I returned from the US, but I never picked it up again. I tried to connect with a flamenco dance group here in or near Portsmouth but I never heard back from them after I contacted them (as has been the case with many other things I tried here).
Anyway, this message about a dead person joining Telegram may be intended to let me know that the text message I got from APDP the other day was faked. (In combination with that strange popup telling me that all my messages are being translated, which I got a few hours earlier, that sounds likely.)
It is of course also possible that someone else has her phone number now and that that was why Telegram alerted me. Except… her number is not on my phone. It can’t have been. (I checked. Just in case… Nope. It isn’t.)
I am not going to fret over it either, as there is nothing I can do about this kind of thing.
I also have received a phone call from someone who sounded just like HVP. After her death. A strange call. When I tried to call that person back, at the university where she claimed to be working, I found that I couldn’t. I tried more than once, too.
That event back then cued me in to when I received two calls, before, at the time when I last saw HVP, from two people who sounded just like two other people I knew (CH and SH), it likely was not a coincidence. I knew one (CH) from my student days in the 1980s and the other one is a visual artist I have worked with. The person who sounded like SH said that she had called the wrong number, was looking for her mother, and the other one, who sounded like CH, was supposed to meet with me, but said that she’d had a call from “the head office” that the appointment had been canceled.
These two images below seem fitting. However – see my previous post in a minute – as I sometimes get the impression that I am (also) dealing with someone who is autistic, it is also possible that this is HIS way of letting me know that I have a new fast-thinking friend?
Did you know that some forms of autism may be related to the mother experiencing domestic violence and fear while she is pregnant?
I edited this post the following morning.
As you can tell, I usually initially respond with anger and upset over these things when they happen. Because what someone else out there is doing is very controlling and I do not like that at all. It is also in a way insulting. I understand that for example Asperger’s can work out that way (but mostly in private, not so much in public, so perhaps in this person’s dealings with me but not in his dealings in public?).
It is possible that this person wanted me to get what I needed at the lowest cost possible, use wifi on it to do what I need to do and only use the phone as a camera after that. Its cameras are definitely superb relative to what I had! But I also felt not so happy about having only phones that are hacked and needing to use the wifi of one of my other hacked phones to do what I need to do. From the perspective of someone who’s autistic, however, it may all make perfect sense. I can see that. (After I think about it for a day or so.)
I think he’s also been trying to tell me that my friend with NPD probably does not care about me at all. I know that. I appreciate her for who she is. (And there is plenty to appreciate about her!) I will soon make some videos about that. Apart from that, I know that she needs to have someone in her life who knows her. She can get very upset when she loses someone who’s been in her life for a long time. I think that’s because it makes her feel lost in a world that must be so alien to people with NPD so often. If you think about NPD a lot and try to step into the shoes of people with NPD, you come to realize that the world must often be a really scary place for them.
What do I mean? Put yourself in the shoes of a small child who’s been told to go to the headmaster, or to the child’s father’s room, and who expects that person to be very cross with them. (I picture movie scenes.) That has to be part of the daily life experience of people who have NPD, the part that they so desperately try to hide from the world.
Or, think of an animal that is afraid of fireworks.
It has to be the scariest thing in the world for someone with NPD to know that someone else understands that they have NPD. Also, in a world with so much negativity about NPD, it has to be one of the scariest things to seek out the help of a professional (psychologist etc). My friend has done that.
I think she has learned practical techniques for communicating. I recognized that in her e-mails at some point and I sometimes see it in her e-mails these days, too.
If the rest of us knew more about NPD and learned to take it into account, we could keep people with NPD feel safer and thus we might be able to lower the amount of friction in the world.
And ultimately… think of this, too. The world causes a lot of NPD when it mistreats its children.
When this kind of stuff happens, also stuff on my computer, it is remarkably often accompanied by various kinds of sound effects from my immediate downstairs neighbour.
I get a new phone, which I need for some official business, set up a new gmail address for it and about 30 minutes later, maybe even less, receive the message “that text was charged from your credit” (I did not send a text and I noticed that almost all my call credit was used up at that point, which I had only just bought at Tesco across the street), a warning from gmail that my recovery phone has been changed – I didn’t even have a recovery number yet – and find that that new google address has already been hacked because I can no longer log in.
Should I mention that I heard my neighbour rummage around a lot under my office, earlier?
Goddammit, you piece of shit.
Unless that phone had already been hacked one way or another as it came in purple packaging and with candy. And I couldn’t use a new SIM in it, had to use one of my existing SIMS. The latter indicates that the hacking was done by my immediate downstairs neighbour. As usual.
On my other phone, I got a sudden message about all my e-mails being translated. No idea where it came from. Can’t find it anywhere. A popup.
But hey, this is England, where literally anything goes.
There is literally nothing I can do about this right now. If we weren’t in a pandemic, I could go set up my phone anywhere else, free from any hacking by neighbours, but we are. So there is nothing I can do. You don’t go sit on a park bench to set up your phone in cold weather. And where else can you go, at the moment?
If it was not my neighbour – but so far, it’s always been him – then I got targeted by an Amazon seller who thought that I would use that phone for banking. Nope. And if that was the case, then maybe he got ticked off by that, and then decided to hack my new e-mail address and use up my call credit.
But my bet is on my immediate downstairs neighbour. The whole thing simply has that flavour… including another phone suddenly being much more expensive and then this one popping up on the screen.
Maybe the idea was to teach me a lesson? But the actual lesson in this is a very different one, and it’s one for them, one that they are too dim to get. I’ve given up on telling them. I gave up years ago.
PS Okay, okay, okay, I get it. I do. Or at least I think that maybe I do now.
Here we may have an example of someone who is autistic genuinely wanting to help me and having no idea of how his help can come across on others.
Einstein apparently once said that we have a choice to make about whether we believe we live in a hostile world or a friendly world. I have no idea what that was about – nuclear weapons perhaps – but it is certainly true to a large degree with regard to neurodiversity.
Sometimes, you have the choice between believing that someone has good intentions – which can come across as being naive but also helps protect your physical health – or believing that someone wants to harm you. It can make a big difference for what happens next.
Of course, someone with good intentions – but limited experience or tunnel vision – can still do a lot of damage.
I happen to have a neat example of what I mean. When I was a toddler, I once helpfully pulled out all the carrots in the garden because I had seen the adults pull out weeds and didn’t know the difference between carrots and weeds.
Lots of “honking” from the flat under mine and, presto…! My computer freezes again and I have to flip the power switch on the wall to get my computer out of the freeze.
And my computer – again – asking me if I want to leave the site. And no, it had nothing to do with browser windows or tabs.
Now here is the thing that I want employers in southeastern England and London – where the incidence of workplace bullying is relatively high – to be much more aware of… If you have such people like my downstairs neighbour as employees, you may also have other employees for example having to wonder much too often whether their cup of tea contains any urine.
Either of these groups of employees may be very talented. But to what extent are they able to benefit your company, when one spends too much time bullying others and the other spends too much time being very tense and jittery?
Not all workplace tension can be resolved easily. But some of it can. And you as an employer have a duty to do your best-est to help your staff be the best they can be. If you don’t, some of your staff may quit and then sue you for constructive dismissal.
I just received a call from a utility company and yet again found myself dealing with someone who does not understand that asking me for my name, address and date of birth has nothing to do with data protection.
My name and address are all over the internet, for starters, because I am a company director. My year of birth therefore is too. My birthday is available from so many organisations and companies! Half of Portsmouth, so to speak, has access to these data and many people outside of Portsmouth have access to them too.
If someone calls me about a complaint and thinks that it is okay to snub me when I challenge the company’s data protection practices and ask “How do you know that this is me and not for example one of my neighbours?”, I am not impressed.
(What’s more, how do I know that the call came from a utility company and not from someone who wanted to have my “confidential” data?)
Watch this video below. Pay attention to the WOMAN who calls from her phone which displays the MAN’s phone number on the screens of the parties she calls and who sounds like a MAN when she does that.
In case you didn’t know that… indeed, legally residing EU citizens in the UK have NO PROOF of that so there is never a guarantee that when they leave the country for a holiday or a work visit abroad, they will be let in again.
Years ago, someone at the local Salvation Army (where I volunteered briefly) told me that I saw Portsmouth in a much too positive light. I think I now know what she meant. For a long time, I thought that a lot of the nastiness of Portsmouth came from the poverty here. Nope. We were talking about the theft of wrapped Christmas gifts at the time.
This fully fits with my own experiences of Portsmouth where I’ve been living since early 2009. If you’re one of the victims of this discrimination in Portsmouth, feel free to contact me if you think I may be able to help you.
Dear Gerald Vernon-Jackson – dyslexic and gay – this appears to have happened UNDER YOUR WATCH. The LibDems pay very little attention to all kinds of diversity issues in Portsmouth. It’s the main reason if I recall correctly why I asked to be removed from the LibDem mailing list some years ago and stopped voting LibDem. The aggressive prejudiced bully of a volunteer you had during the last elections did not serve your cause either as far as I am concerned. She’s exactly the kind of person that causes these kinds of disparities. (Steve Pitt knows who I mean. She comes within an inch of being downright vicious.)
Portsmouth, a “strong sense of community”? My ass. It’s much too often a hotbed of intolerance, corruption and intimidation but there is a lot of, how shall I put it, cosmetics going on. The “guy in the dress” is welcome here because it is felt that he enhances Portsmouth’s image of contrariness.
But people with Parkinsons and autistic people or even normal professionals are seen as not “sexy” enough for Portsmouth.
Some of the staff at the Civic Offices is an utter disgrace – a Mr Thomas Young, for example, but he may no longer work there – and should be sued because of how they violate English law (and are completely unfit for the work that they do for other reasons as well). Some should probably even be charged. I mean that. It’s disgusting, some of the stuff that goes on there.
People with Parkinsons can also get a hard time because other people – including police officers – mistakenly believe that they’re drunk. Did you know that?