I received this message at 7.49 am:
I’m the victim of sadistic stalking. I have been for 7 years and am quite desperate to connect with someone who will understand what I’m going through and perhaps explain it and guide me in the right direction. This is a case that involves many participants both men and women.
Dear Jennifer Maureen, I am sorry to hear that.
I have been the target of sadistic stalking for over 12 years (since June 2008). It appears to be deliberately destructive. Part of the reason why I became targeted was that me being a migrant who didn’t know anyone here made me ridiculously easy to target but also because it made it easy to find flying monkeys to target me on behalf of the stalker(s). Unfortunately, I live in a small island community that is rather hostile toward strangers in general – it is infamous for this – and that is rather corrupt, too, so various other factors seem to play a role.
I literally don’t know anyone here. I’ve been here for over a decade, know a few people by name but that’s it. The hostilities began on the day I collected the keys to the flat that I started renting here in early 2009; the stalking activities had started shortly before that and turned out to have been organized mostly from within this town, which I didn’t know as it concerned someone of whose existence I was not even aware.
They started, however, within 24 hours after having had an appointment with someone because of that person’s profession and a lot about that appointment did not add up in the first place, but I had no context for it, did not know what it meant. The person in question for example expected me to be all over him, sexually. I thought that that was pretty bizarre. I don’t know that person’s psychological makeup; it could be a combination of DID with NPD and psychopathy. But what do I know? The other person – who was doing most of the stalking without me even knowing that he existed – seems to be his brother.
It is possible that that particular person is autistic, but there is a general very deliberate sabotage and destructiveness going on that has nothing to do with autism and that’s involved the killing and hurting of animals – even in my flat when I was out – just to spite me. People around here seem to consider such activities fairly normal, however. A consequence of that is, of course, that there is no place where you can get any kind of assistance from.
Back to you, Jennifer. I don’t know where you are. The IP address suggests that you are in the US, perhaps in New York or Chicago, but that means nothing, as IP addresses can be spoofed (fake), just like almost everything else these days. You could have used a VPN.
Also, I don’t know whether you still have other people in your life or whether your stalkers have completely isolated you, the way they tend to do.
In my case, a few people abroad who didn’t know me well were contacted with bullshit stories about me that they fell for, sadly. So they ended up acting as flying monkeys without realizing that they were actually active accessories to a serious crime. Local people who didn’t know me at all were also fed BS about me, thus cutting off various avenues for me.
(Ya really can’t make this shit up, it’s unbelievable, the lengths they will go to.)
If you are in the US, then there are several organizations you may be able to contact from a friend’s house or some other location away from your work and home and using an un-compromised phone or computer. Most of these organisations were started by people like you and me. By the way, try to see yourself as a “target”, not a victim. Declaring yourself a victim may make you feel more powerless. Sadistic stalking is about powerlessness. The word “target” may feel more neutral.
If you are in the UK, then zero help is available to you. This means you have two main options and they’re both radical.
- Commit suicide. It will put an end to the stalking and it will give you your life back. Of course, once you are dead, you will no longer be able to do anything with your life. Stalkers are never worth the loss of your life, but stalking targets frequently contemplate suicide or wish that their stalker would finally try to kill them so that people would finally start to believe them, believe that they are indeed being stalked by someone who does not wish them well. A better option may be to “live as if you’re already dead”, to stop fighting the stalking, stop caring about anything, stop living, stop responding, play dead in a sense so that your stalker will no longer get any pleasure out of things he does to you. The flying monkeys are not interested in you personally; most are just getting paid to do stuff to you in most cases and if they don’t get paid, they will leave you in peace.
- This following step requires that you have money, unfortunately, and many stalking victims lose their income, certainly after prolonged stalking. (Sadly, that often makes suicide the only practical solution left. You can’t live your life, practically speaking, if you are the target of sadistic stalking and this is something that people who have no experience with stalking never seem to get. They believe that suicide in these circumstances is a sign of psychological weakness. It is not.) So it may take you some time to prepare this. Disappear without warning, taking only a minimum of items you, permanently cut off all contact to anyone you have ever known, move to a location to which you have no ties, start living under an assumed name and lead a totally different life. For example, if you used to play the clarinet, never play any kind of woodwind instrument again, because if you do, you increase the chance that you will be found again by your stalkers. If you played tennis, move to basketball. If you were a graphics designer, never do any graphics design again. Etc etc. Do not underestimate how persistent, resourceful and immensely destructive these stalkers can be.
Finally, there is this. Do not count on anyone to help you. You’re a woman, you’re powerless and you’re vulnerable. That puts you in the perfect situation for more abuse.
You only have yourself to rely on, unless you have family standing by your side, but relatives often abandon stalking victims, unfortunately. You can find a case on this website in which the husband divorced his wife because she was being stalked.
It also often happens that people are afraid that the stalker will come after them if they help you or even stay in contact with you. You can’t really blame them for that. (The good side of that is that at least these are people who believe you.)
I know one woman whose daughter was smuggled out of a location where she was in danger in the trunk of a car. She was one of my colleagues for a while and the situation caused a lot of upset for her. So we learned about what was going on.
I know another woman who’s had to do option 2, more or less; was advised to do that by police (which is very rare as far as I can tell). Dropped out of university in Amsterdam and relocated to a town where nobody knew her. Did not change the name she used and did not change her profession. The guy who had been making her life hell did eventually find her, but by then he was no longer that interested in pursuing her and a housemate told him to go away, something like that. He went.