Message for Clair Stevens at PCC


Dear Clair,

Thank you for your e-mail. I do appreciate it as I have often felt that perhaps I should start dancing naked in Guildhall Square to get anyone to pay any attention to my complaints. My complaints are no more than my insistence to be allowed to live my life and support myself. (This aside from any restrictions the pandemic is placing on everyone’s lives including mine.)

As you may understand, I currently have urgent practical matters to solve (such as address the problems with a harddisk drive and install another harddisk). I will likely may get back to you in due course. 

Take note of the following, however.

  • As you may also understand, I feel that perhaps you are not really feeling me, if you know what I mean. 

I am in no mood for getting jerked around a little bit more and… with all due respect… how much do you know about IT? Do you know what the “beef oven” is? Do you know what read/write permissions are? Do you know what a harddisk controller does? Do you know why my mobile is so warm right now? I have had one police officer tell me to “just block the person on Facebook” and I do not need you to tell me the equivalent of “just block the person on Facebook”. (I am well aware of bullying practices being considered normal within parts of the PCC realm, too. However, I will certainly NOT allow you to “Ebrahimi” me.) One can’t take evidence of hacking to the police because police officers don’t recognize it for what it is yet they consider themselves the experts on just about any topic. Even top IT security experts get removed from airplanes from time to time because most people have so little IT knowledge that to them, IT experts talking with each other can sound crazy and dangerous. And I am not even an IT expert. 

  • I used to think that one option for me to do something good with all of my negative experiences in Portsmouth was to help solve whatever is going on in Portsmouth that is so detrimental, thus preventing that other people have to go through the same kind of shit (which has included getting a bucket with liquid emptied over me from a window near Kingston Crescent from which two young men said “good afternoon” to me before they did so). 

Frankly, I have come to feel that it is not my responsibility to help “fix” Portsmouth (unless it concerns a paid role, perhaps; you can hire my services through my VAT-registered business and I am also willing to reactivate my Limited Company to that end, as an alternative). 

I should have been allowed to simply live my life the way I’ve been allowed to live my life in all other locations where I’ve lived, albeit in some with more ease than in others. I have always been appalled that this was not the case in Portsmouth. I have always been appalled that just about everyone in Portsmouth seemed to consider this normal.

Whatever is going on is a Portsmouth-wide problem that by no means can only be affecting me, can it? There is nothing special about me and I knew nobody in Portsmouth when I moved here so there was not anyone here who could possibly have had any old beef with me. I have encountered other individuals in Portsmouth who were being targeted.

  • In recent days, I have noticed a marked decline in the hacking disruptions (though I do not believe that the activity has ceased entirely yet; time will tell). I also seem to be getting a little more postal mail.
  • Also, I notice with interest that you are from the OPPD Social Work Response Team. I am not so sure that that is appropriate. 
      • At an InnovationSpace workshop, someone said to me that I was being targeted because I am from Amsterdam. That would be xenophobia at work, not gerontophobia.

      • While I can only guess, I have at times had the impression that there were elements at work who objected to the fact that I, a mere woman, was living on my own and fully intended to support myself and that these elements felt that if they made my life as difficult as possible, I would eventually give up and seek the protection and financial support from a male, any male. (There have been many word games etc with “provider” and so on over the years. There also, for example, was a male individual – possibly a PCC employee, btw; not someone I know but who exited his likely place of work, a house at the end of Fratton Road (318?) in which staff appears to be looking after people recuperating from a coma etc – who loudly announced to me – yelled – that my problem was that I did not know how to “socialize” and grabbed his penis when he said the word “socialize”.) That would be misogyny at work, not gerontophobia. 

      • Moreover, I was in my mid-to-late 40s – and other than that my natural hair was pretty grey, I was young-looking – when all this crap started. The term “older adults” is not defined as “anyone over 30 or over 45”. Is it, in your eyes? I am not sure who the activities are targeting. (It may well be mostly self-employed or otherwise independent females over 45. This would be for PCC to address in this town, not for me to solve, but I am not sure that it would be an OPPD matter.) I wrote a book about some of my experiences. It is called “Is cruelty cool?” You can download the PDF from this website; you can also purchase it on Amazon.

      • I am not physically disabled.
  • I have spoken with Portsmouth Police numerous times about this, also when I was living in Southsea (2009/2010) when I was being targeted from notably any of the three or four flats above me (in view of the secluded nature of my patio at the time). Portsmouth Police said to me that they did not want to speak with any of the people in those flats as they did not want to go around accusing anyone. (!!!)

Instead, Portsmouth Police said, they would send a letter to everyone in the street. Such a letter was never sent. The police did want to gossip with me about the marriage of my nextdoor neighbour at the time, however, a retired female business owner from London.

I later found out by coincidence and to my utter astonishment that police officers had gone around behind my back doing all sorts of other things including stating that they had investigated the hacking, suggesting that I might be a dangerous individual from which people might need protection.

As no police officer had ever asked me for any details, I knew that the police had not investigated any hacking. Just in case they might have shown some initiative and found out various data on their own, I contacted everyone (companies) police officers might have contacted – and they would definitely have needed to contact someone – if they had done any investigating. Portsmouth Police had not contacted anyone at all. Nobody.

However, police officers have also occasionally done things like play PacMan with me in the streets (using 2 to 3 police cars and the CCTV system) and they have also at times circled two to three cars around me. Their loud response “we do not have any time for such things” is bullshit; their admission that they have the need to blow off steam at times is more palatable, but perhaps they could go play squash instead.

I also found out by coincidence that someone else had written that I had claimed that a hacker “had copied all my phone books”. I never said such a thing. It sounds bizarre.

(Could it be that people were just covering each other’s asses by trying to make me appear the crazy lunatic? What do you think? There is often a heck of a lot of smoke and mirrors work going on here.)

So, I think that you need to go talk with councillor Steve Pitt and ask him why he sent me an e-mail, years ago, when he was still running the Cellars at Eastney, that I should go see him if people were bothering me because that e-mail greatly surprised me. I think you’ll get a lot further if you pursue that avenue. As far as I know, most of these strange activities in Portsmouth are coming from the Winchester Road area, by the way. You may also want to go talk with local O2 employees, BT employees, Virgin Media Business employees and others.

I certainly do not ever want to come home again and find the door demonstratively standing open, stickers stuck to my corkboard, bizarre crap carried out in my bathroom or in my kitchen area or my duvet reversed or any other shit. I do not want to find any signs of the illegal presence of others in my flat while the door is closed when I come home either. I do not want to find text on this website changed or deleted or added. I do not want to see any more animals get hurt – or killed – to spite me. I do not want to see words in client files on my computer changed. I do not want any outgoing calls to be – very obviously – redirected to local jokers. I do not want to receive phone calls from any people pretending to be who they are not. I do not want any of my e-mails “grabbed” etc. I do not want browser windows opening on my computer. I do not want any hardware hacking on my equipment. (Because besides that it is disruptive, what all this means is that my equipment breaks down and also that I can’t work with anyone in any professional capacity.) I do not want my communications – whether phone, Skype, WhatsApp, Zoom or anything else – with others to get cut off over and over again because I wrote on LinkedIn that I enjoy “reconnecting” with people and some local people think it is funny to play around with that. I do not want “Stephen Morgan” or anyone else to send me weird or threatening Twitter DMs that are clearly not coming from the people they appear to be coming from. I do not want to see any more buckets of liquid deliberately dumped on anyone either. That’s utterly bizarre behaviour and I have no idea what it tries to convey other than “we do not want any strangers living in Portsmouth”. 

Etc etc etc.

One big mistake that I made was that I have occasionally thought that if I joked etc along, the crap would eventually go away (but then, nothing worked and joking along helps keep your own stress levels down). I was at times made to understand that a lot of this was just plain English humour, but it all got crazier and crazier over the years. I have tried all sorts of approaches. None worked. I have also often acted out of fear, however, trying to appease out of fear of making people angry if I protested too much, fear of retaliation. Keep in mind that it was very hard to know what on earth I was actually dealing with as almost all of it was anonymous and I found nobody willing to talk about it. 

What I have gained through all of this is an understanding of certain personality disorders (because some of the behaviours I was subjected to were so odd that I started looking into what might be behind them), of stalking behaviours and also of how workplace bullying may come about. I may be able to put that to some good use.

Having made a heck of a lot of noise finally may be having some effect. Local people thought it was cute when I made videos about how I was getting jerked around on my computers and how powerless it made me feel but since I started expressing how immensely angry I actually was over all that shit, people have slowly started to back off. But the problem has not gone away yet, not at all.
What I need to solve are practical matters that put a stop to the crap. I need a locksmith, for starters.

So, the issue that you, Clair and others, need to address in Portsmouth may be the extreme insularity – the hostility towards non-local people – for which Portsmouth is famous in the UK.

Remedying that is not my personal responsibility and telling me that it is my own fault for having moved to Portsmouth does not cut it either because there are no warning signs at the entrance roads and the train and bus stations that alert strangers (including independent professionals) to this problem.

Any people with DID or other neurodiversity issues are excused but if such matters play a role, then perhaps PCC – or others in town – should seek to work with me for a change to see who these individuals are and what their needs are and how we might be able to address them so as to reduce friction in Portsmouth. I’ve asked around for years and I’ve applied all sorts of different strategies to get some answers. I am aware that there are huge healthcare gaps and I feel that this is not the fault of people who wrestle with neurodiversity issues that they are never asked for.

For the record, to address one of the local memes about that old cow from Amsterdam: When your main goal is to get out of a town that seems so crazy and hate-fuelled – so that you can reclaim your life and breathe again – paying local bills becomes a very low priority but eating well and staying healthy goes up on the priority list! Of course!

Feel free to share your opinion below, please.

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