You don’t know who is doing it or, more importantly perhaps, who is behind it and why on earth it is being done. What you don’t know either is whether it could in fact be more than one party.
It’s a Catch-22. When you don’t know who’s doing it, people here tend to not believe you yet when you mention anyone, people here tend to say that you’re obsessed or paranoid.
No matter what you say, you are going to sound like an idiot. Because what is going is idiotic. Except… you are not the one doing it. You are merely the one describing it. Describing a bank robbery as a witness does not make you a bank robber. (I know. Bank robberies are rare these days.)
But when it happens anonymously, this kind of stuff, there isn’t anyone you can address. Anyone you can talk with. Anyone you can tell to stop it.
And when after years of being unable to do much, people suggest to you that you “have a lot going on”, you just want to slap them, frankly, because the opposite is the case. They have no idea what poverty and lack of income do to a person’s life, for starters. You can’t spend hundreds of pounds on home security, for example, so you may look “mentally incompetent” but you’re merely financially powerless. You do the little bit that you can. And that is not enough.
And in fact, all you want is to get away, to leave it all behind (and get your life back). That is what your focus is on. Patience. But you can’t say that either because that too will be held against you when you’re a migrant and certainly when you’re in a place as insular as Portsmouth. It may be felt like a betrayal of their precious Portsmouth.
And then again… that is no way to live either!
I remember when Kevin H. came over, must have been 2011, and someone was literally hiding in the bushes here, to see what we were up to. Does it get any crazier??? Yes, it can get far crazier, I know now.
- Anonymous people in Portsmouth who I don’t know? Portsmouth’s culture, in other words? Check!
- The two people directly associated with an appointment I had in 2008, not that long before I moved to Portsmouth, as I became targeted within 24 hours, the targeting increased big time after I moved to Portsmouth and one of them lives in Portsmouth? Check!
- The current immediate downstairs neighbour, whether on his own or in cooperation with any of the above? Check! But I did not know the extent of it. When I saw him studying my postal mail, my jaw dropped. Two envelopes. It took him several minutes to drop them on my staircase.
- The current landlord with or without the cooperation of PCC and/or neighbour? Check!
- The previous landlord or the letting agency, in Southsea? Nope. (Though they did go into my flat once while I was out, and among other things listened to my voice mail messages – unless that was actually someone else because that is the problem with people who you don’t actually see, that you do not know with certainty who they are. Police, however, confirmed that this agency has a habit of going into tenants’ homes when they are out.)
- Roger Downey? Nope, he is just too gullible.
Have I forgotten anyone? I feel tempted to add the Martians, to “prove” that I really am delusional as has been suggested, or my maternal grandmother, to “prove” that I really am senile and believe that I am 16 years old. Or 12 maybe. (Yes, I have really had enough of Portsmouth’s hostile climate. I have had 12 years of this kind of nonsense.)
I have – guilty – at some point blamed someone in the US, in an e-mail, in the hope of drawing out whoever the hacker was at the time, but that attempt was not successful.
Have I ever experienced anything like this before? No. I don’t think that I will ever be able to make sense of it either, but there are quite a few similarities with what happened to Bijan Ebrahimi in Bristol, aren’t there? In his case, three of four parties made his life hell. One or two groups of people around him, the police and the council. Two cops went to prison over that.