My hacker’s response, Mr Vernon-Jackson? (With a cc to Suzanne Hulscher and Bas Borsje at the University of Twente and Lynne Stagg at Portsmouth City Council)

My hacker’s response? Demolishing my computer again by filling up the HDD with junk, possibly videos he took with my phone. The root directory is filling up again. Means the system will have trouble running.

Has been at it awll dayyy loooong. Big baby.

Yeah, big boy. Currently making a lot of loud farting sounds and making a lot of other shit-related noise. That’s typically what 1- to 2-year-olds do. “Look mommy, I did a big doodoo!”

(That’s currently mostly my immediate downstairs neighbour in real life, yes. Who else? He’s now confirmed that, in fact.)

Real big boys, these Pompey males. Deliberately wiping out my income and then making use of my poverty to gridlock me with their hacking and their own illegal income.

Ha ha ha, Mr Vernon-Jackson.

The same dude deleted those grant proposal files from my HDD and USB stick about a year ago, remember? I told you about that, Gerald. I told Grant Murphy about it too.

So, he is doing it on behalf of Grant Murphy, this hacker. Otherwise you wouldn’t be so perfectly fine with this, Gerald.

Millions of euros’ worth of jobs and equipment for my client, Suzanne Hulscher en Bas Borsje at the University of Twente.

(For doing the kind of work that the UK isn’t even capable of. The kind of work that notably Portsmouth’s future depends on.)

Wiped out by my hacker, with the approval of Gerald Vernon-Jackson and Grant I. Murphy.

I had no choice but to say bye bye to this client of over 20 years, to make sure that my hacker would not cost them the grant. Thankfully, they did get it. The grant.

I’d been quite uncomfortable with that situation – which no English person will ever understand, I know, I know – so I was very happy to hear the good news.

Which no English person will ever understand, I know, I know. Because all you care about is ffffarting as loudly as possible and so on, isn’t it?

Have you already told Lynne Stagg about it? Or are you still keeping all of this from her?

You’re just as bad as my hacker, Mr Vernon-Jackson, aren’t you? Just as bigoted.

Meanwhile, the hacker is targeting my HDD again, the eh, 4th? I’ve lost count.

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