So yesterday, someone asked in an email “oh, you are taking the train?” Next question was if I was going to Rotterdam. Huh? Rotterdam?

Next: “if you go to Amsterdam, I can collect you from the train station”. That made no sense. Person in question has no roof for me either. So why collect me?

I kept asking, but got no response.

Meanwhile, another email from him refused to arrive, yesterday.* Wouldn’t open, that is.

(btw, I am using whatever phone and email is charged, connected and working in the moment, of course. Have to.)

It felt oddly manipulative, the kind of thing that my hacker tends to do.

It felt like providing hope, expecting maybe “I’ve asked around and so and so has a holiday cottage you can stay at for a while” next. Nope. No response.

So I wrote, a little annoyed, “maybe I will go to Paris and clean toilets” (assuming that if you work for a hotel, they may have a back room for you). It’s an idea I’ve entertained before because it would make me hard to find for the stalker/hacker. (Except, the Bataclan attack happened next, and travel was restricted as a result.)

The other mail* arrived today, offering to call “help for the homeless” in Amsterdam.

So I replied “sure, thanks”.

Now I’ve gotten another email in which he is asking me this again?

Listen, if anyone has a garden shed or vacation dwelling or caravan or whatever that I can temporarily stay in and that isn’t entirely in the boondocks, I’d be really happy with that.

In 1996, people in the Netherlands called around for me too. A solution was found.

So do that, or don’t – but be clear about it.

And yes, a little later, said person confirmed that I can not stay at his place. So why offer to collect me at the station?


Said person also wrote to me in 2017 that I could stay for 3, 4 months and formally register there so that I could get benefits if needed. I told him to look into the latter as might have consequences for his pension or taxes. (Voordeurdeler) No no, not a problem, he responded and “anyway, you can contribute your part”. Not a problem.

When I actually showed up he would not let me formally register after all because it would indeed have financial consequences and I couldn’t stay for 3, 4 months either. 4, 5 days, instead.

Yesterday evening, I thought that the hacker was jerking me around again. Has done that before. Now I’m not so sure any longer, which makes me feel stupid and embarrassed.

But I do feel jerked around.

I’m starting to suspect that THIS is a separate problem. Oops. Back in 2017, this guy kept asking me the same question over and over. I was convinced that the hacker was messing with me, back then. Perhaps not the case at all in this specific context!

(Next thing, he reported me missing to the police, btw, back then, without for example trying to call me first.)

And he’s now also offered to collect me from the BUS station.

Embarrassing! Yes.


There really was (is) a hacker but apparently not at all within this specific context.


Now I really do sound like a lunatic. Granted.

So, back to facts.

  1. One of my contacts appears to have beginning Alzheimer’s, or similar, sadly, and his actions and words can be very confusing.
  • Okay then who is this Lee/Charles/Charley/Charlie person who used to follow me around, who I first saw at my flat in Southampton and who apparently lives or lived in Winchester Road in Portsmouth?

Who is that?

  • And who is the person who arranges the surreal circuses?

Is that the same person?

  • And what was behind the bucket that was emptied over me?
  • And who was fucking with my trading accounts until I put a stop to it?
  • Who was it who made the browser open with the close sound of mt5?
  • Who was it who accessed my old 32-bit computer when it was offline and all that?
  • Who was it who changed the name in that caption in that book?
  • Who wrote the slogan on the wall in Southsea?
  • Who was constantly picking the locks etc?
  • Who was so often sabotaging anything I did?
  • Who put that link on my phone to that article about David Lancaster?

Etc etc.

What a gigantic stinking mess. I want my life back! My normal well-functioning life. The “stupid” (?) life in which I simply supported myself.

Man this hurts! I want my goddamn life back.

How do I resolve this stinking mess, for myself? I’m stuck on a tiny island off the coast of South England of all places. There’s lots of poverty here and there was certainly no market here for anything that I used to do. There are no options for me here.

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