I’m vulnerable!

In this video, I am sharing my darkest secrets and revealing all.

Sure, some things that I originally thought were hacking-related were just quirks. And when important things happen that I may have to respond to but am powerless to do anything about, that’s when the hacking is usually the factor that causes the biggest powerlessness so I am sure that I do rant more about the hacking at such a time.

By the way, I still need something else besides low-pass filtering, but I am not going to say out loud what that is and I don’t know whether I will be able to arrange it. Plus, I have no certainty yet that my door is secure now.

For all of you who still believe it’s 1985

The first bit in the first video – two years old – happened to a CRYPTOCURRENCY EXEC. Not the checkout girl around the corner or the older female adult who barely knows where to find the on/off button on a computer. (The latter would be a stereotypical assessment of me, ha ha, and my assertion that I am genuinely often dealing with hacking would typically be attributed to that plus that I “get delusional when stressed”.)

A friend/colleague of mine in the Netherlands, with PhD in math/physics/computer science, also recently got tricked TWICE, over the phone. Thankfully, other companies spotted the problem and protected her finances.

So I have been trying to tell Portsmouth City Council that currently, for example, anyone can call – or e-mail – local people, pretend to be PCC and ask people to pay, say, council tax over the phone, using their bank card. Because of the lockdown, this type of fraud is much easier at the moment.

Yes, PCC, it is possible to fake an e-mail address and it is possible to fake a phone number.

I have raised this problem with several UK electricity companies – that they have NO SECURITY on the accounts and anyone can mess with your account if so inclined, such as close it or tell them that you have a new address – and the people I spoke with had NO IDEA what I was going on about.

One snapped at me that she simply had to ask me questions because of privacy regulations. She of course knew my DOB and likely quickly made the “useless old cow” judgement. She did not GET that the answers to the questions she asked are largely all over the internet – for example because I am a Company Director – and are in various databases that are accessible to literally thousands of people.

(I hung up on that person. She was rude.)


Below is a video that I have posted before. It is about 18 months old.

The other side of this can be that if for example you lose your Google Authenticator app because your phone quits on you and you made no backup, some accounts ask you to supply a list of all your recent transactions as well as (a list of logins with) IP number – if you don’t have a static one, this can be a pain – and take a selfie with an ID document in such a way that the ID document is legible. It can be annoying and I have once gotten really annoyed about it because my selfie with ID kept getting rejected. But it’s better than the alternative.

Speaking of ID, if you need to supply an ID document WRITE ON IT, either digitally or with pen or pencil if you scan a copy, when and to whom you are supplying it. Through the actual document, in large letters, such that it cannot be easily used by someone else to steal your ID. This is a tip given to me years ago by the local Dutch consul.

You’ll also want to watch this one.

How to hack and do stuff to someone else’s gear

Which can happen with the full cooperation of landlords, by the way. Because the gear needs to be on the network.

Ha. this may explain why I couldn’t find my phone’s MAC address yesterday when I searched for it when I wanted to tether another phone via Bluetooth.

And my HDD is being way too active again right now.

(Ah. I think that someone was desperately looking for my webcam? I’d unplugged it as I have decided to stop using it because it makes me look like I am in 1999, lol.)

Hacking: Tampa Bay area water system contamination

Are you going to tell me now that these people, too, simply do not know how computers work and should get with it or become delusional when under stress? Must be the pressure of the pandemic that causes that stress. They’re merely imagining it. </sarcasm>


Pinellas County is where I used to live. I’ve visited one of its water facilities. A different one.

Found my phone’s bluetooth on again this morning

But my phone is cold. Yes, cold.

And yes, I am pretty sure that I am not getting all my e-mail.

Also, somehow, stuff from my eyes is making it into my throat. Via the tear ducts? I found an eyelash (!) in my mouth yesterday and traces of eyeliner in my mucus a little earlier. The latter has happened before, relatively recently.

I have pigment dispersion syndrome in both eyes and I take eye drops to combat the effects of that. I know that my eye drops can acerbate asthma and can also “cause coughs” so I press my tear ducts shut after I apply the eye drops to stop them from getting into my system.

Unfortunately, the dropper bottle is not well designed and I often end up with the stuff all over my face, so some of it gets absorbed by the skin and still gets into my system.

But I am not quite sure what to make of what is happening right now. Do my eye drops somehow widen my tear ducts? My lungs are clear. 

These eye drops also cause new eyelash growth. I have to extract eyelashes – some of them grey-white – growing inside the corner of my eye from time to time as they can cause irritation. Do I have eye lashes growing inside of me, ha ha?

The various issues with my eye drops are the reason why I want an assessment of whether I’d be a good candidate for surgery – when the pandemic eases. 

Update 17 February 2021: I think that the “eyelash” was a plucked eyebrow hair that made it into my coffee or food. That solves that mystery!

The “Clair Stevens” thing (continued)

I just received another message from her:

“Hello Angelina, I’m sorry that you feel this way, I am going to get in touch with our Information Governance team and ask if it would be ok for me to send you a photo of my ID Badge. If I can, would this be acceptable to you?”

It sounds rather bizarre.

I was going to write back to her

“Dear Clair,

I do not “feel” this way. I am just being a responsible 21st-century citizen who appears to be much more aware of the digital reality of today than you. “

I am not so sure that I want to.

There has been a little bit too much of this “you feel this way” in her communications. Why does she have so much trouble showing to me that she is who she says she is? Why is she often so vague when I ask her clear questions? Why can’t ANY of her colleagues at PCC confirm that she is who she says she is?

Why did that message that I was typing to her disappear off my screen the other day and why did the CC addresses disappear from the next message I then started writing? I want to cover my ass in this bizarre stalking and bullying story that Portsmouth has been for me from the start. Why does nobody step forward to convey that this woman is who she says she is?

What she is doing is demonstrating the essence of spoofing, the way in which so many people get scammed at the moment when they are contacted by people who are not who they claim to be. The time she is taking over this suggests to me that she might be creating something to e-mail me that is not genuine either.

Why was I unable to call the number from when her call came when the call was dropped when she first called me?

There have been other occurrences not entirely unlike this and the hacker – whoever it is – has indicated that it was part of the “game” he plays.

I will have to do some thinking about this.

With all the offices continuing to be closed, I cannot verify independently that she is who she says she is. Is she the same woman who called herself Clare Simmonds, a few years ago, and who did something a little similar, to do with a dog?

Okay, so this – see below – is what I am writing back and then I will put her out of my mind because…

all she does is gobble up my attention, doesn’t she?

Dear Clair,
Thank you for your message. You do not sound convincing at this point.
I am being a responsible 21st-century citizen who appears to be much more aware of the digital reality of today than you, that is, IF you are who you say you are.

There is no way for me to verify independently that you are who you say you are. I cannot assess in advance whether anything you send me will even be remotely acceptable. You could be sending me a child’s drawing of an ID badge, for example.
If you are legit, shouldn’t you have come up with an answer to the question as to whether there is any funding that can help me secure my door by now?

On the phone, you said that I had a lot going on. NO, I DO NOT. I have much too little going on and I want my life back. In order to do that, the first step I must complete is make my door more secure so that the lock-picking stops.
I have meanwhile started two crowdfunding actions and the locksmith has been. I have received two donations, one for £25 and one for £100. One of those donations came from a lawyer who has stayed with me here in Portsmouth when all this began. She, at the time, also noticed a few strange things in my surroundings; she also visited The Cellars at Eastney with me.

When you and I spoke, Clair, there were angles that you did not pursue and should have, if you are who you say you are. Some of the questions you asked, on the other hand, suggested that you know who has been doing these strange activities that we were talking about and why. 

In addition, have you spoken with Steve Pitt in the meantime? 

I look forward to hearing your answers to my questions at this point (funding for securing my door and asking Steve Pitt for details). We’ll take it from there.
You see, this sort of contact has happened before and my hacker indicated that it is all just part of the “game” that he plays… He calls it a game, yes.

Best regards,
Angelina Souren

Smart meters and hackers

I searched and this came up:

“Hacked meters can even cause house fires and explosions or even a widespread blackout. Unlike remote servers, smart meters can be relatively easily accessed by attackers, so each smart meter must be quite hackproof and resilient in the field.”

Security angles are hardly ever addressed with persistent targeting in mind. The same goes for locks on doors. But there is more beyond random brute force factors. 

Who is “Clair Stevens”?

So I e-mailed her again – with copies to others to cover my ass – as I didn’t hear back from her. (Interestingly, those cc addresses disappeared from my screen at some point and I had to enter them again.)

She replied that she had not heard back from me. This is what happened. See below. Most recent message at the top.

Dear Clair,

Thank you for your response. I have no choice but to conclude that you are not who you say you are.

I do not appreciate this.

Please do NOT contact me again.

Over and out.


Hi Angelina Sorry i do not have a business card but i have an ID badge, when I get to meet you face to face you will be able to see this. As you can see my email is Portsmouth city council which hopefully will give you some reassurance. i look forward to speaking with you at 4pm 

Hello Clair,

I did e-mail back to you. Perhaps your e-mail system weeded it out as a potential spoof.

Could you please send me a copy of your business card and your passport or perhaps, instead of your passport, a few business cards of your colleagues? 

Like I said, you do not seem to exist digitally, spoofs abound these days and because of the pandemic, I have no way of verifying that you are who you say you are. You could be a so-called flying monkey. 

I trust that you understand.


After that, a 4pm call would be fine.




Hi Angelina, I hope you are well? I did email you on Tuesday asking if you were available to talk yesterday between 9 – 11, as i did not hear from you I was going to contact you again today. Would you be free on chat later today around 4pm?


Hello Clair,

I suppose that you have another emergency on your hands as I didn’t hear back from you.

Could you please do me a favour and e-mail me a scan of your business card? I would really appreciate that. You see, you do not seem to exist at all in the digital realm and in today’s day and age, that is rather odd. And I have had so many spoofed e-mails, texts, phone calls and other communications in the past decade, even a communication about a non-existing court order.

Thank you.

So, what happened this morning?

I received a text message saying “test” that I sent to myself, to test if that 2FA phone was working properly… But I sent that message weeks ago! That is the phone on which I am no longer getting my bank’s 2FA codes.

I have not heard back from the locksmith yet, but that’s okay, nothing unusual about that.

I have not heard back from Clair Stevens yet. She wanted to talk with me yesterday morning but the timing was not convenient. That too does not seem unusual. She seems to have lots of emergencies to tackle.

Yesterday, I also shot off a brief e-mail to my landlord. I have no idea whether he has received it. When someone else is grabbing all your texts and e-mails… that is kinda hard to tell right now, with so many places closed and no way of verifying many things IRL (face to face) anywhere.

One of my own challenges with assessing various situations is that I have gotten to know England as a pretty disorganised mess, overall, and not getting responses to communications is “the usual”. Getting a response is the exception, not the norm, in England, in my experience. Now add a pandemic and a lengthy lockdown to that…

I’ve also just found that I’ve been logged out of one site where I was logged in. This happens a lot. The times I get told that my password is invalid, well, I’ve lost count…

Oh, and I really need more exercise! 


And after that…

… half an hour or so of utterly pathetic crap, gearing up the computer fan, making the thing beep like hell and what not. It stopped abruptly after I shot off an e-mail – from my phone – about how utterly pathetic this was.

As BOTH my computers froze, I know it was no coincidence. Besides, I have had twelve years of this…

Who’s doing this? As far as I could tell, but it is hard to tell, this time it was whoever was in the flat below me at the time. That does not have to be the legal resident. The locks to that flat get picked too, after all.

Next thing that happened

My printer starts spewing blank pages. Lots of them. When I tried to print one of the fundraising campaigns.

Also, when I invited people to the fundraiser, the computer hiccuped when I typed “Steve” as someone’s first name. No not Pitt. No not someone based outside of Portsmouth. A coincidence?

Why do all my phones only accept SIM cards that I have had for a long time?

What happened yesterday evening

I received a text message that looked like it was delayed by weeks (namely that the call credit on that phone is zero), on the phone on which my bank no longer sends me 2FA codes.

OK, maybe that message was supposed to serve as a reminder, some kind of commercial trick to top up. Except, I also remember that its balance had suddenly dropped to zero from 7 or so, on that phone. Weeks ago.

Did I mention that my “verified by VISA” procedures haven’t worked in years either? That screen zips by on my PC screen. Haven’t had to enter any of those details for years.

Did I mention that I know that I used to be on someone else’s network? When I still used Windows and still did regular LLFs and reinstalls, I knew how to remove myself from having been put on someone else’s network illegally. In those days, I still had proper broadband.

There have been days since on which several sites suddenly looked so differently, all at once.


Continue reading

What next?

I have changed the name of my Ltd company and will go forward to address issues like workplace bullying, which can be diversity-related. (There is a lot of otherisation in England. Too much.) And I think that my old business is totally toast by now.

I’ve also made an appointment for an assessment to have a lock fitted. Had tried that before, but did not work out for whatever reason. Have decided to try and crowdfund it: https://www.justgiving.com/crowdfunding/help-me-make-my-home-safe-again

I want to be able to stop having to ruminate about who is doing all these strange things to my life and why. It’s exhausting. And that’s an understatement. But positive-thinking it all away does not help one iota either. Securing my door should start to help. A lot. 

More hacker interference

So, this morning, my 32-bit computer has already frozen twice. First, during an e-mail I was composing and second, when I was about to write this post.

See, after the computer froze the first time, I spotted yet another mysterious browser tab opened, about the app “Sensemaker Collector”.

Some 10 days ago, I found two new tabs opened on the site “chemist 4 u”. I did not know about that site, had not visited it, but had been looking for something of which I didn’t know whether it was available in the UK (IPA, also known as rubbing alcohol, I believe). 

Within the past months, I have browser tabs seen opened on the topic of marriage, about the song “Exile” by Tailor Swift and a few other bits and pieces. Roger Daltrey doing a u-turn on his assessment of the effect of Brexit, too, popped up on my screen recently.

My immediate downstairs neighbour was doing some new strange stuff overnight again. (It seemed to have woken me up.)

There is more. On 14 January 2021, I received a once-only automated gmail reply to a message sent on 13 January. That was odd, as autoresponders tend to act instantly. Was there a gmail outage on 13 or 14 January? I checked. YES, THERE WERE GMAIL PROBLEMS THAT DAY! (You have no idea how pleased I was to discover that! When you’ve been subjected to all kinds of hacking for a long time, including messing with e-mail, all you want is logical explanations for any deviations that have nothing to do with hacking.) 

Why “blocking a hacker on Facebook” does not work

For years, I have been scoffing at police officers who say things like “just block the person on Facebook” when your equipment gets hacked.

Today, someone asked me a question that puzzled me for a moment and it got me thinking.

Most people really have no idea what “getting hacked” means.

It means that someone takes full control over your equipment and can override – and change and delete – anything you do.

This is what happens when big companies get hacked. Someone gets into their equipment or gets into the “thing” that they are (like Twitter). They may do damage – break stuff – but they may also simply copy lots of data. Because when big names get hacked, it is frequently to get at data that can be sold on the black market. Credit card data, for example.

Because it is these big names that make the news when they get hacked, it seems that a lot of people may think that when a person “gets hacked”, it has something to do with those big name companies. Like Facebook. Or Yahoo. And that it is just your password that got stolen, so all you need to do is change your password and block anyone who is hassling you.

But that is not what getting hacked, as an individual, is.

Getting hacked is comparable with, say, your heating’s thermostat going completely haywire and you having no control over it. (Picture an invisible person standing there in your home and fiddling with the thermostat.)

It won’t help you to go change the thermostat setting at, say, the McDonalds in town. You need to get your own thermostat fixed and possible your heating system as well because it may have been affected. You may even have to get a whole new heating system and redo the wiring. Or more, such as do something to the water pipes.

But going to McDonalds or KFC – or Argos or any of the other places that have a lot of online orders – and changing the setting on the thermostat there won’t help you one bit.

You don’t want to know what happened next

I just got a message that my deceased friend HVP has joined Telegram.

She was Dutch. I’d known H since the late 1980s. She was a physicist who became a policymaker who worked at the EU, among other places. Her PhD thesis was on surface melts of lead crystals. Solid state physics. (There is some overlap with earth science. Every earth scientist worth his or her salt has looked at articles published in physics journals.)

H was also a very dedicated modern dancer at a high level.

A photo I took a long time ago, in Utrecht. HVP is on this side, her back turned towards us, talking with Ietje Paalman-de Miranda, who also passed away recently.

Until progressive MS put a stop to all of that. Very fast thinker. I loved working with her even though we often disagreed on certain things. We had different preferences, different views on some things.

But if you needed to work with someone to really get things done, she was it. I don’t think there’s ever been anyone else I so enjoyed working with. (She and I did a lot of the organization including publicity for one or two symposiums and that was a lot of fun. Too long ago…)

We had dance in common too. I saw a lot of modern ballet in those days, at the theaters. Modern dance. I danced flamenco for a short while and I remember she recommended someone to me after I returned from the US, but I never picked it up again. I tried to connect with a flamenco dance group here in or near Portsmouth but I never heard back from them after I contacted them (as has been the case with many other things I tried here).

Anyway, this message about a dead person joining Telegram may be intended to let me know that the text message I got from APDP the other day was faked. (In combination with that strange popup telling me that all my messages are being translated, which I got a few hours earlier, that sounds likely.)

It is of course also possible that someone else has her phone number now and that that was why Telegram alerted me. Except… her number is not on my phone. It can’t have been. (I checked. Just in case… Nope. It isn’t.)

I am not going to fret over it either, as there is nothing I can do about this kind of thing.

I also have received a phone call from someone who sounded just like HVP. After her death. A strange call. When I tried to call that person back, at the university where she claimed to be working, I found that I couldn’t. I tried more than once, too.

That event back then cued me in to when I received two calls, before, at the time when I last saw HVP, from two people who sounded just like two other people I knew (CH and SH), it likely was not a coincidence. I knew one (CH) from my student days in the 1980s and the other one is a visual artist I have worked with. The person who sounded like SH said that she had called the wrong number, was looking for her mother, and the other one, who sounded like CH, was supposed to meet with me, but said that she’d had a call from “the head office” that the appointment had been canceled.

These two images below seem fitting. However – see my previous post in a minute – as I sometimes get the impression that I am (also) dealing with someone who is autistic, it is also possible that this is HIS way of letting me know that I have a new fast-thinking friend?

Did you know that some forms of autism may be related to the mother experiencing domestic violence and fear while she is pregnant?

I edited this post the following morning.

As you can tell, I usually initially respond with anger and upset over these things when they happen. Because what someone else out there is doing is very controlling and I do not like that at all. It is also in a way insulting. I understand that for example Asperger’s can work out that way (but mostly in private, not so much in public, so perhaps in this person’s dealings with me but not in his dealings in public?).

It is possible that this person wanted me to get what I needed at the lowest cost possible, use wifi on it to do what I need to do and only use the phone as a camera after that. Its cameras are definitely superb relative to what I had! But I also felt not so happy about having only phones that are hacked and needing to use the wifi of one of my other hacked phones to do what I need to do. From the perspective of someone who’s autistic, however, it may all make perfect sense. I can see that. (After I think about it for a day or so.)

I think he’s also been trying to tell me that my friend with NPD probably does not care about me at all. I know that. I appreciate her for who she is. (And there is plenty to appreciate about her!) I will soon make some videos about that. Apart from that, I know that she needs to have someone in her life who knows her. She can get very upset when she loses someone who’s been in her life for a long time. I think that’s because it makes her feel lost in a world that must be so alien to people with NPD so often. If you think about NPD a lot and try to step into the shoes of people with NPD, you come to realize that the world must often be a really scary place for them.

What do I mean? Put yourself in the shoes of a small child who’s been told to go to the headmaster, or to the child’s father’s room, and who expects that person to be very cross with them. (I picture movie scenes.) That has to be part of the daily life experience of people who have NPD, the part that they so desperately try to hide from the world. 

Or, think of an animal that is afraid of fireworks.

It has to be the scariest thing in the world for someone with NPD to know that someone else understands that they have NPD. Also, in a world with so much negativity about NPD, it has to be one of the scariest things to seek out the help of a professional (psychologist etc). My friend has done that.

I think she has learned practical techniques for communicating. I recognized that in her e-mails at some point and I sometimes see it in her e-mails these days, too.

If the rest of us knew more about NPD and learned to take it into account, we could keep people with NPD feel safer and thus we might be able to lower the amount of friction in the world.

And ultimately… think of this, too. The world causes a lot of NPD when it mistreats its children. 



When this kind of stuff happens, also stuff on my computer, it is remarkably often accompanied by various kinds of sound effects from my immediate downstairs neighbour.