Did you know that in 2017/2018, the police recorded 10,334 incidents of stalking whereas the Crime Survey for England and Wales estimates that there were over 1,000,000 self-reported victims of stalking each year for about the same time period?
If you or someone you know is being targeted by one or more strangers, you can contact me. I’m talking stalking and harassment coming from a complete stranger or a vague acquaintance, or from 4chan/8chan folks.
While I know less about ex-partner stalking and do not specialize in it, I can very likely still give you tips for how to increase your security and I may be able to offer emotional support. I may possibly be able to flag serious mental health issues that tell me that you may be in danger.
I know a scientist who was stalked by an ex who had already tried to strangle her. She was supported very well by the police; this was many years ago and not in the UK. The police gave her excellent advice, which she followed. Years later, he still managed to track her down but she was not at home at the time and someone else told him to buzz off. He gave up his stalking activities after that.
I also know an Englishwoman whose daughter once had to be smuggled out of a property in the trunk (boot) of a car to get away from a dangerous partner.
Long-term stranger-stalking is enabled by the profound otherization of the victims.
I have tips for you, such as the following items.
- Cheap, easy-to install sound alarms to increase your security and peace of mind.
- Gloves that can protect your hands against knife attacks which makes it easier to defend yourself in such a situation.
- Cheap, easy-to-operate recording devices (sound and/or video) with motion detection.
- A free PDF version of my booklet with tips for those who are their own boss.
- I have another booklet available from Amazon, as a Kindle e-book and as a paperback. I frequently update it on Amazon, which is why I no longer offer the PDF file as a free download.
Yes, I may get a small commission when you click on one of my Amazon links, but I only recommend products that I am familiar with and can really recommend.
If you are being stalked or know someone who is being stalked, then former police detective Mike Proctor’s book “Antidote for a stalker” may be wonderful to have and also to give to people around you. When you for example read the paragraphs about trophy collection, gaslighting and disruption of services etc., you may feel immense gratitude and relief. Because if that is happening to you, then many people will have told you that you’re nuts or just silently doubted you when you tried to tell them what’s going on in your life. They may for example have told you that you must have signed up to “Look after my bills” and then forgotten about it, without having listened to what you were actually saying…
The book is written from a law enforcement perspective and contains a lot of advice for law enforcement professionals as well as for targets. Some of the information in it is now out of date, for example the bits about the National Stalking Training Academy in the UK, which no longer exists.
I myself have been dealing with one or more anonymous folks targeting me (in an often really vile and hostile town where I didn’t even know anyone and in a country and culture that are not my own), for over a decade. I couldn’t get any support beyond a prescription for Valium to deal with the stress caused by the stalking – and thankfully, I did have the impression that my GP took me seriously – but I did not want that because I don’t think it’s wise. I sometimes use a herbal remedy (a combination of hops, valerian root and passiflora) that Wilko, Tesco and others offer.
Mine is not a straightforward story, not a matter of black or white, not all negative. It’s therefore often been especially confusing and frustrating. It’s manipulative, and there’s a cold-hearted, calculating, emotionless mind at work behind some of the stuff that targets me.
I filed the first police report in October 2008. I have filed many more since. I’ve made several attempts to escape. I wanted my life back!
Just now, at the end of 2022, I discovered that whoever is targeting me already was picking the locks at my previous address as well. I never saw the lock-picking coming. I only discovered it in the course of 2015, years after it began at my present address.
But I have also learned tremendously from it all and I love learning.
Unable to get any practical support whatsoever, I started studying what I was dealing with. Neurodiversity, personality disorders and the like. Other stalking cases, too.
When stalking comes from a (relative) stranger, some form of neurodiversity often plays a role. People’s faces don’t have their brain structures stenciled on their foreheads, so what matters is determining the person’s likely intentions and motivation.
These folks’ own experiences with long-term otherization can drive them to start stalking and even tormenting strangers. They are hurting inside and lack adequate support. In essence, they are usually kind souls who became desperate, angry and immensely driven.
Their logic can be very different.
This is not always what’s behind stalking, of course. Some people for example simply enjoy making others feel powerless and miserable or aim to drive you insane.
I will contact you from a phone that has not yet been hacked to target me, and I will call you not from my home but from elsewhere.
When we meet, I will first show you my passport and my driving license. For my own security, I will also want to see your ID. I know you’ll understand.
Simple support package for a friend, colleague or loved one
- My two booklets about stalking
- Three sound alarms for doors or windows
- £25 including shipping, UK only
- Alternatively, simply put this in your Amazon UK shopping basket: https://amzn.to/3lWLay6 and https://amzn.to/3Ir69jW and https://amzn.to/3m0gPi8
A few links
Stalking super-complaint launched against police – BBC News (opens in a new tab)
Campaigners say victims are being let down by the police who are failing to identify offenders.
Ditum, S. (2018) A joint report by the Inspectorate of Constabulary and the CPS released last July looked at 112 cases of stalking and found that not one of them had been dealt with properly. The Independent.
HMIC (2017) Living in fear – the police and CPS response to harassment and stalking. A joint inspection by HMIC and HMCPSI. ISBN: 978-1-78655-414-7. HMIC, 114 pages.
PDF available here.