Why is being stalked by a stranger so traumatic?

Because it erodes your sense of safety and your general sense of control over your life. (More so than if you, say, were to be diagnosed with cancer. That’s between you and the cancer.)

Because it is repetitive. (A rape is over once it’s over. Stalking can go on for years, sometimes even decades.)

Why is getting stalking by a stranger so stressful?

Because being stalked by a stranger causes a profound cognitive dissonance within you. Because you cannot believe what is happening. Because what is happening cannot possibly be happening. Except, it is. You are trying to reconcile something that shouldn’t be happening with something that is happening and you can’t. You can’t make them overlap. You can’t make this make sense, no matter how hard you try. And try you do and you will. Oh, you will try very hard. You have to. You have no choice. You have to figure this out because unless you do, you cannot tackle it, manage it, deal with it, handle it.

This becomes greatly exacerbated when police officers and others choose to disbelieve you when you tell them what is happening.

Because then you cannot believe that they refuse to believe you. It clashes with your belief about how these others are supposed to respond to a situation like this. So then you will need to ditch that belief, which will likely make you feel abandoned and alone, or you will cling to it only to experience time and time again that it is not a realistic belief.

When police officers largely dismiss you, this also often aggravates the situation. It can put you in danger. First, the stalker may get very angry if he finds out that you went to the police and as he is stalking you, it is likely that he will find out. Many stalkers become furious when someone calls them a stalker. Second, the relative lack of action on the side of the police can greatly boost the feelings of power and control the stalker may be after.

Because it may cause you to lose your job or your business and maybe your home as well.

Because it can cause you to lose friends and because it can cause your relationship to fall apart and your marriage to fail.

Because it can involve threats and may result in injuries to your pets or your children or other relatives.

Because it can come with theft or destruction of property, which can be highly personal items such as underwear or cherished mementoes.