My main professional background is in the earth & life sciences, but I now also explore topics in the broad area of bioethics. That's about equality, fairness, justice, diversity and inclusivity. It's also about people's biases, the associated otherization and everything that this can result in. That includes poverty, homelessness and poor health, shabby looks and shrinking personal bubbles, exposure to chemical and noise pollution and lots more. It's also about law, philosophy, neuroscience, technology, forensic psychology, politics and public policy (governance). Diversity and inclusivity are much bigger challenges than I used to believe. I for example now think that society's lack of genuine acceptance and support for people whose brains work very differently can among other things result in destructive behaviours for which the forensic psychology terminology is sadistic stalking or resentful stalking. My own experiences on the receiving end of something like this caused me to start looking into personality disorders and neurodiversity. That is how I stumbled upon bioethics. Seeing the massive inequality in England had something to do with it too. No, I don't have all the answers. Do you?
I checked in advance and saw that this month’s outgoing payment was scheduled properly. Except… It’s NOT listed as having gone out. It’s completely disappeared? It’s not listed under failed payments either.
I’ve been having SO MANY PROBLEMS with my Dutch direct debits, for two years now. They disappear into thin air (and companies usually don’t allow you to pay from your end, so you incur fines). It’s affected three or four other accounts too.
I do think that the amount actually went out. (On the basis of the balance. I also remember that I checked that day and I think I saw it listed as having gone out, too.)
It was scheduled for the 24th, I think.
🤬😠😤🙄
My bank just merged with (or was bought by) a bigger bank and I hoped that this would put an end to these hiccups. Nope.
Amazon including kdp etc hiccups may be because of that outage they had? (Amazon login hiccups happen often.)!It won’t accept the password reset codes either this time, however. Turns out that it says it will send the code to your email but it simultaneously sends a different code to your phone…. Next it sends one to the alternative number that it has for you.
Update 20 Oct: This was followed by several emails about my “friend Steve”. That is a very common English first name. John and Dave are other examples.
Here is part of one:
(This strikes me as largely nonsense, btw. This particular person isn’t really a friend and not someone who would worry about me. He doesn’t care. It’s someone I last saw in 1996.)
Here’s another one:
Someone in the US just wrote to me: “I receive several emails regarding you from a friend of yours with access to your email — which is how he found me. That correspondence was brief and has been over for months, but wierd to say the least.”
I’ve asked for this person’s name and to forward me a few of those emails.
I have three names for these hackers now, and two of them are women. One of them is Portsmouth-based and among other things paid for my website for a year.
The other one of the women who contacted me said she was a hacker but I don’t believe her because when she popped up on Telegram, she quickly hid herself but she still popped up on Signal as well and when I sent her angry texts as I have her phone number, one of her responses was really stupid and contradicted what she wrote earlier, basically admitting that she had a reason to be among the “contacts” on my phone. So if she really IS a hacker, she is not a smart one. She speaks Dutch and American English, once arranged to meet with me at a Dutch public library but I found her sitting next to me at a very different public library branch (and drawing attention to herself) months later.
No stupid (hacking etc) crap today, please. I’m EXTREMELY exhausted at the moment and I need all my focus and energy on keeping myself from not falling over. No stupid crap today.
I just got a stupid spam message about Kennith Hardin, about my Kennith Hardin order having been accepted or whatever. Something made me google it. It’s a man who murdered his wife. Not funny.
Every once in a while, I also get bombarded by… watches (as well as people asking me for the time, but that was in Portsmouth). I’ve never been able to figure out what it stood for, but I just found an explanation that may fit.
It’s just stupid 4chan-etc-type crap. Usually, the BS had sexual connotations. This one appears to be just about these kids/folks being the annoying abusive prats that they always are so it means nothing, really.
Did I already mention that he keeps deleting this photo from my laptop? And that he also sometimes seems to stop me from finding it on this website, from where I download it each time he’s deleted it again? It’s an old family photo.
The guy has some kind of issue with photos.
Something else has occurred to me that I had forgotten… he has some kind of thing with black guys. One of the first interactions concerned some white woman who had married a Masai man and written a book about it. I think she was English. On Facebook, he presented himself as a black man – several different ones, but the main character was a Charles (Moabene or Boahene or something like that; he made clear that it was him by telling me that he might see me then after I told him I was going to the supermarket, one day, and found “Lee” waiting on the other side of Kingston Road) – and he also sent a black man after me to pester me in Portsmouth, via Freecycle, and then took over the email communications.
Has he picked up that old theme again, by any chance? I wish I could see both these guys’ travel records.
Might the hacker brother be the one with dissociative identity disorder, then? (Have I considered that before? I don’t remember. Probably.)
Whoever it is, he is extremely controlling – often without intending to but also often on purpose – and I think that this gels more with autism than with NPD. The extremely confusing quality of it all also points toward autism rather than NPD. I have no idea whether or how DID might combine with this.
NOTE: He seems to be trying to make clear that it’s not 4chan and it’s not his musician brother who is so obsessed with me. Hard to tell, really.
In my case, an angle grinder was used to accomplish this. I noticed a pattern on the feathers of two affected birds that I handled and asked myself what might accomplish that. Some kind of rotating knife. (I wrote about this in my book “Is cruelty cool?)
Shortly after, someone was holding one up and letting it spin near my home. Bingo.
I just sent this message. Maybe it will help.
Dag,
FWIW
Ik heb dit niet aan de politie doorgegeven, mogen jullie doen als jullie denken dat het zin heeft.
Dit gebeurde onlangs ook in Amsterdam Oost, maar niet met Psittacula krameri maar Columba livia. Anderen hier viel ook op dat er opeens veel dode duiven lagen. Ik heb er toen een video over gemaakt en geüpload en daarna is het hier gestopt. Toeval?
Een zogenaamde angle grinder lijkt te worden gebruikt; ik zag [in Portsmouth] een patroon op de veren [bij de twee betrokken vogels die ik in handen heb gehad] en vroeg me af waar het door kwam. Ben daar dus over na gaan denken en kwam tot conclusie “roterend mes”. (Ben wetenschapper.)
Haakse slijper.
Kijk eventueel ook naar betrokkenheid van 4chan.
Dit thema achtervolgt mij al jaren, is voor mij begonnen in Engeland. (Ook in mijn eigen woning, na slotenpikken, wat zeker ruim 13 jaar gebeurde.) Ik heb sinds mijn tijd in Florida door vrijwilligerswerk daar vogels en werd in Engeland doelwit van iets vreemds waar vaak sadisme aan te pas kwam. Eerste aangifte gedaan in oktober 2008.
Eerste hoofd van vogel voor mijn deur in 2010. Betrof dode vogel. Die lag namelijk eerder nog heel in de straat. Was afstraffing voor het niet houden van mijn mond. Was in Southsea.
Eerste onthoofde duif, was “bevriend” met me, begin 2016, in een andere wijk in Portsmouth. Was afstraffing voor weer eens naar de politie stappen. Het maatje daarvan is in April 2019 ook aangevallen maar overleefde; die kwam naar mij toe met nieuwe maatje. Had enorm veel pijn, heb ik een week of zo in huis gehad en weten op te lappen.
(Politie en gemeenteleiding in Portsmouth weten hiervan, maar dachten dat ik getikt was. (Kost ook heel veel geld om zoiets te onderzoeken.)
Zelfde persoon? Geen idee.
Met vriendelijke groet,
drs Angelina Souren
PS (Ben momenteel ja ja, heus, niet schrikken, dakloos deels doordat ik dus jaren last van terreur heb gehad waaronder niet alleen slotenpikken maar ook eindeloos hacken, was self-employed, werkte onder meer voor Nederlandse universiteiten, kon het door het hacken compleet schudden. Ik kreeg later overigens onder meer reacties als “we stalken jou met velen dus is het niet strafbaar”. Geen idee wat ik ervan moest denken, maar ik weet wel precies wanneer en met welke persoon dit is begonnen, betekent niet 100% zeker dat het ook die persoon is die dit doet.)
PS Toen de eerste vogel werd gedood, in 2016, nadat ik weer naar de polities was geweest, kreeg ik trouwens (via hacking) het commentaar dat dit is wat mannetjes doen met vrouwtjes (oid). Ook dat doet aan 4chan denken.
Op 30 mei maakte ik een video die ik via bluetooth op een andere mobiel had gezet en niet goed leek te zijn overgekomen. Zojuist heb ik het origineel geüpload. Deze vogel lag op een plek waar ik ‘s avonds vaak zat. Toeval? Opzettelijk juist daar neergelegd? Geen idee. Ook dit: bird = woman.
10 June 2025: Yes, this abusive nonsense is still continuing. Unbelievable.
UPDATE NEXT DAY (6 June 2025): Today, everything to do with charging and internet connection is working normally again, so yes, I threw out a perfectly fine USB cable and bought a new one because that cable wasn’t broken but I was getting interfered with again. I constantly lost my internet connection and couldn’t charge.
However, today, I noticed the audio cable playing the same game as my USB cables had been doing for about 10 days now – and which he used to do with my CD/DVD drive too – and last night, my big phone lost its charge much too rapidly and was warm.
In England, he used to get annoyed when I visited the websites of CNN and NOS. That was years ago. He felt that I should only visit those of the BBC and the Guardian and perhaps also The Independent.
Now he is secretly switching my stuff to Dutch, not realizing that a) about at least 50% of the people around me do not speak Dutch, b) I’ve been using English on my computers for decades and c) I’ve been using English for decades and d) the Dutch translations of English (particularly computer) terms can be baffling.
I just experienced the second time in just a few weeks that an electricity socket that had previously been working fine stopped keeping my laptop charged, forcing me to relocate. I wonder how this might come about…
In 2022, I discovered that elements in my stalking experiences had been taken from a local sadistic stalking case, namely Tracey Morgan’s, and adapted to make them much more cunning. I just discovered that other elements came from this film.
Holy cow. I have had a lot of stuff like this happen to me too. When was this film made? Might it have served as inspiration for whoever was doing that to me? The locks got picked for at least 13 years, at two or more consecutive addresses, and yes, among other things clothing items would disappear etc and sometimes reappear again.
Oh. 2006. Yes, this stuff began in 2008 but mostly happened as of about 2011. In Portsmouth England. There was no Mara. There was a person with whom all of that started, but it was not someone I interacted with in real life after that. There wasn’t anyone whose address I had or anything like that.
I filed the first related police report in 2008, when I was still living in Southampton.
Yeah, you do sound like you’re crazy when you are trying to explain something like this. I was fortunate enough to have had a friend who checked things for me and on one occasion, she called me and said “No, you are not crazy but someone out there certainly is trying to drive you crazy” and I was also very fortunate that I would often later found proof of various things, because when really crazy stuff starts happening in your life, you too have no idea what to make of it.
Half an hour later: The person often referred to me as mum, and also as wife, at times. There is a little boy theme. I still don’t know what it means.
A care-related vacancy in Chichester that was about looking after or playing with two dogs that I had to meet first and that had some other strange nonsense associated with it.
A lot of mental health and what not (care-related) vacancies, none of which are in my profile.
Now a vacancy about a cat and rabbit rescue, with this:
Was reported online by others, too. Means I am offline until this has been resolved because I don’t have a lot of data on my main number’s SIM card. That’s on a different network. Redundancy.
17:00 Internet access restored (but something got tampered with at my bank – a big invoice which I had blocked for the time being got paid – which I can see in a negative way or in a positive way, negative because it means that I can’t pay any other bills including my mobile phone subscriptions and still can’t use public transport, positive because it probably means that I have access to emergency transportation out of here, should I need it, and I may well end up needing it).
And then some (says me, the stupid delusional old cow).
Consensus target now around $40, with some setting it at 80. Note that ten firms have a hold rating, two a buy and two a sell. Several large investment firms apparently substantially increased their holdings in Q2. (That’s me as merely the messenger, not voicing my personal opinion or research.)
I just like their spunky approach, I like that they are small and up against Goliaths and I like what they do. (There’s negative stuff to be found everywhere.)
Been eyeing them for some time – and this stuff doesn’t require expensive travel efforts – but being hunted down by crazy civil servants acting like total lunatics and similar nonsense is not conducive to this kind of enterprise – and I am well aware of it. You learn this the hard way.
Haven’t been occupying myself with any of this for quite a while, so I don’t know what happened and why it’s up.
It was shockingly low for a while. I hope you were able to buy then and did.
(I’m still very angry. I hate powerlessness and I hate being rendered powerless even more. It draws the worst out of me. I make no secret of the fact that like any other human being out there, I need to and have the right to be allowed to do my thing, be busy, be interested, learn stuff, grow, flourish.)
Plan A was an unexpected horrible disaster (from which I have learned a lot). It shouldn’t have lasted longer than half a year, but it did. It has cut off many avenues for me, but that’s good because it’s pushing me into a better direction.)
Plan B is still working but is a pit stop.
Plan C I decided to abandon. Maybe I should reconsider, but I don’t feel like it.
Plan D may have fallen through, too, but I am still thinking about it, because Plan D may actually still be perfectly fine for me. (I made a call and encountered not only a real person but also a refreshing level of honesty. 🙏🏻) I figured that I might probably learn something valuable from it in any case. (Update: I decided against this, after a few web searches, but looked into alternatives, which led to several other options… So I sent two messages and also reached out by phone to one commercial party. Nobody there. So my plans are scuppered again?! I reacted to something else too, but am not expecting a response from the person. Next, I sent a message to a different commercial party. Will call them tomorrow morning. Update: they replied.) (If I cannot get anywhere this way, I will kick Plan D2 into increasing action.)
Plan E is also in place. (I have an appointment later this month.)
Plan F, that is probably what I am hoping for most, but I need to have one of those other things work out too. Ideally.
Plans E and F both contain compromises. That’s life. When I was in my thirties, I thought that the sky was the limit. When I was in my thirties, I also learned that it’s not.
As usually, things are going much too slow for me. 😂😎😊 For this reason, I tend to focus on what I can do. It stops me from getting frustrated. It means that I can maintain some momentum.
So the Irish servers have disappeared but I am still often listening to Malti, the language. I contacted the provider about this a while ago and also about being unable to download their app because it thinks I’m in a different country.
No response.
There have been other non-responses and one of my Dutch contacts made a mistake in an email the other day that suggested that he was using Google Translate to turn English into Dutch. He’s the only one who occasionally sends me a short mail.
(Haven’t been able to make contact with anyone, really, after I fled from Portsmouth in 2023. The explanation for half of that is simple. As soon as you can no longer be at people’s beck and call, to serve them, many will drop you like a hot potato. That’s just the way it is. Certainly Dutch people tend to forget about you anyway as soon as you move out of the country. However, I have also had faked responses – notably one text message with two clear indications that it was fake – and several people appear to have disappeared off the face of the earth. Can’t find anything about them that is more recent than 2016.)
No, this hacking nonsense sure hasn’t stopped yet and yes, it’s malicious. (Of course it is. Its very nature alone indicates that, doesn’t it.)
Also, I still sense incel sentiments underneath it every once in a while. I may be mistaken about that, but there’s always been that idea of “if I wipe out your income and render you homeless, you will have to move in with the first man who is willing to take you in”. (Biggest recipe for abuse, of course. I’m so never again doing that.)
I’m not regretting that I left the death trap with all its abuse but of course now the civic offices have not paid my remaining month of benefits yet. They withheld them without prior notification in the previous month too. The only place where you can file a complaint is the people who you are filing the complaint against. They really couldn’t care less. I was shocked to see how biased and abusive these people are. It’s scary. It’s that kind of attitude that makes it possible for stalking to go on for such a crazy amount of time as it has in my case.
I’m pretty sure that he often thinks he’s helping me. But the very deliberate isolation he imposes on me makes clear how fake that is.
He seems to have been preparing some kind of stunt again, perhaps. Dunno.
It’s a lot less off-putting for them than my crazy and oh-so-exhausting reality. This kind of stuff really happens, people. Suggesting that I might have dementia or whatever doesn’t resolve it.
(Besides, 16 years ago nobody suggested anything like that.)
Btw, I still haven’t figured out my stalker’s connection to Chester.
Update 17:49, 2 November: I’ve just discovered email replies from two others – one is from a woman in the Netherlands – that initially didn’t show up in my protonmail account. Nothing I can do with them at the moment, but I have already followed up on Glenn Cohen’s email.
(Screenshots at bottom of post. For anyone who still believes that I am delusional. So fed up with that.)
I had written to several people, and just received a reply from Glenn Cohen at Harvard.
Spoofed again or not? I can’t tell. An email from Hank Greely a while back appeared to have possibly been altered. That became clear when I discovered an actual institution that he referred to in his mail. It had initially confused me as it was something quite different in the email and did not seem to add up. A hasty copying error, possibly. It happens.
(Had the email been changed? If so, why? Likely because the hacker doesn’t approve of the work that they do at that research center, or he doesn’t see opportunities there.)
Once you get hacked to pieces and messed with relentlessly and realize how much is possible for motivated hackers, you develop a habit of assessing the authenticity of digital communications because you are aware of how flimsy their basis is.
I still shudder thinking back to it and weep for myself. How the hell did I end up in that dreadful place? How the hell did I manage to do that to myself?
(WoningNet did that to me, too.)
Death trap (very accurate AI interpretation)
“Doet u maar rustig aan, mevrouwtje.” “U kenniet denkuh, mevrouwtje. U moet niet denkuh dat u ken denkuh. Dat doen wij wel voor u. Wat zeggu?! U wil wat? U mag niets willen, mevrouwtje.” It still makes me shudder.
I was expected to plan and wait patiently for my death but not exactly much more than that.
After 15 years of more or less the same in Portsmouth! I’d already been climbing the walls for so long!
Thought police at the door, hounding citizens (AI interpretation)
Civic Offices staff going into a neighboring apartment to climb onto my balcony, finding them standing there at my open balcony door, that was the bloody limit. No explanation, no apology. Completely NUTS. Creepy. Scary.
Better than that by now really creepy Elvis Presley song following me around everywhere (which I got to know in a German version first).
(Mostly buskers, people. Not teletransported from Mars straight into my brain or whatever. And only when it concerned some place where I planned to be through emails etc or mentioned I was gonna be in emails etc.)
I occasionally can’t help but wonder if some people here still think I’m hearing voices and talking to the voices when I record videos. Who knows what they were told about me.
The crazy witch hunt that was launched against me out of the blue here, a little under a year ago, initially was baffling, but I’ve come to conclude that it’s basically sheer malice. On 14 August, I got told that a negative Google review may have had a lot to do with this.
When my benefits already got shut down without notification in only the second month (September 2024), explained retroactively by needing to have next month’s income data too, in addition to the data that I had already supplied, in duplicate, that became crystal-clear. This sort of nonsense – including civic offices staff climbing onto my balcony – would have gotten much worse, not better, if I had agreed to things on 14 August – some of which they they point-blank refused to put on paper and those were important promises.
(This too is a bit like Portsmouth, yes, I suppose. There too, real estate owners’ wishes could get people’s benefits shut down, apparently. It’s called politics.)
I’ve given it to one of the local Zorgcirkel people, a receptionist. I didn’t tell her that it is part of my stalking experience. Would have served no purpose. Would just have caused upset.
The card was useless to me, but I assume that she would be able to put it to some good use. I checked and there was actually 10 euro on it.
My emails either don’t reach anyone about 75% of the time or people’s responses don’t reach me about 75% of the time.
It’s part of the reason why I couldn’t support myself any longer eventually after I moved to Portsmouth.
And about 10% of the 25% responses I do get are mocking me and not giving me an answer. But that could be AI bots. “Can you please tell me what kind of card you are talking about?” repeatedly. “Thanks for letting us know xyz. It’s good that you are telling us xyz. Bye now.”
15:21 The password for one of my email addresses has changed. What else is new? 😴
