I am still getting royalties for work that I did before I moved to Portsmouth, so dating back to 2008 (at the latest) and earlier. It’s nice to have that little token of appreciation.

This morning, the CNN site cleared up a misunderstanding that many people probably share with me. Ruminating and fretting about real experiences and worries, it may feel intrusive but that isn’t what is thought by that, says CNN’s Kristen Rogers.

When I was a youngster, I would sometimes have this fleeting fear that an invisible hand would push me into traffic and that I couldn’t stop it, as if a hurricane-force wind was blowing. That’s an example of an intrusive thought. At the time, I thought that I must have had a nightmare and that that is where it came from. I wasn’t living in an area that was known for strong winds. My mother was very concerned about the busy traffic on the road we lived on. Maybe that was the source of these irrational thoughts.

After I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth, where I became subjected to a lot of sadism and violations of my boundaries, including lock-picking, it happened to me once or twice that I was walking behind someone on crutches and the following sudden thought would pop up. “What if I kicked the crutches away?” I was appalled. It was not something that I would ever do in real life but I found it very unpleasant. That’s another example of an intrusive thought.

Mine are mostly about fretting whether I have accidentally upset or hurt someone, I think. They aren’t necessarily as irrational as they might seem. A few months ago, I said something to a woman behind a counter, one of the two owners of a shop. After I walked out of the shop, it hit me that what I had said could have been interpreted in two different ways. I walked back into the shop and said “hey, I didn’t mean this, I meant that.” She was amazed. You see, she had taken it the wrong way and she was feeling a little hurt.

I think I will happily continue to have a few intrusive thoughts about whether I have accidentally hurt someone, even though it makes me feel silly because nobody’s ever said something like that to me or even apologized for something truly hurtful they did. Some people believe that caring means that you signal that it is okay for others to walk all over you. It’s merely a matter of how big an ego you have, or of how secure you feel in yourself, irrespective of what others do to you.

But don’t callously violate my boundaries and think you can walk all over me.

Twenty years ago, in Australia, they enacted it after this happened:

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Damn. I am 12 minutes into this and it looks like his rage came from being otherized… I am still continuing to watch. I think that a lot of sadistic stalking comes from a similar place and I’m quite stunned to see this so well depicted here by that psychiatrist.

If only we could prevent that people like this become otherized so badly. This story or interpretation reminds me a little of the guy in a stalking case in St Petersburg.

But when I started watching the video, I found him very creepy, and I continued to feel that way. Goes to show that you really cannot tell from looking at people how smart or capable or cold they are?

But… this is based on what ONE forensic psychiatrist said in this video.

I find this unpleasant to watch. The coldness. The discrepancies. I wonder if they ever did a brain scan and I am also wondering about the background of the rabbits.

Then the attorney says that this guy wanted the people he had “merely” injured to come to court and point the finger at him. That’s clearly sadistic.

You see that time and time again, that these guys want to see up close that they’ve really hurt you.

Or was it fueled by resentment, in his case?

There is something very calculated/calculating about him. Is that because he is “dim”? Because he has trouble making up his mind? Somehow I don’t think so.

The girlfriend, the restaurant menu or whatever it was, maybe he was dyslexic.

The boat scene, running out of fuel, that could have been on purpose too. Planned. The crying could have been fake. She was only 16.

I think he is playing “dim”. But who am I to say that? I seem to have only questions these days, no answers.

And then the attorney read what he had written the day after the sentencing. That made it clear. Bryant was a manipulator. That doesn’t go with low IQ.

Twenty years later, and he still hasn’t shaken Bryant off.

(That’s what sadistic stalking does too.)

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Some of wildlife rescue outfits mainly or also serve to support someone’s lifestyle. I know this discussion only too well from the seabird rehabilitation world in Florida. Your donations may look like they go toward a noble purpose but in reality may help finance someone’s private swimming pool.

I’m thinking Ralph in Clearwater, but I am also thinking about whether you turn your facility into a tourist attraction or focus on only helping the animals you rescue.

We also need to start taking into account what we are doing to the planet as a whole and all the species on it when we blindly purchase items that we think we need within the context of wildlife rehab – but don’t.

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We’ve just had the 156th or whatever this year, in Maine, in which many were injured and 18 people killed.

We’ve just had another one. In Tampa, this time. Ybor City.

Yet the UK and the US and the Dutch and a few other governments are saying that it is okay to shoot everyone and everything to pieces “to defend oneself” because that is what they did when they refused to support the ceasefire in the Middle East. Can’t they see that?

There is no need to run to the shops, whether online or brick-and-mortar, every time we think we need something.

We are being told that we need things, that the more we buy the more we are worth, and that people who use what they already have and up-cycle and reuse and repair stuff are trash.

This just makes the likes of Jeff Bezos richer. It does not serve us in any way and it makes us parasites on the ecosystem, the planet.

When I moved into my current place, some stuff had been left behind by previous occupants. I was told to just throw it in the skip outside if I didn’t want it. I was shocked. (Okay, disappointed.)

I haven’t thrown out anything. I’ve been able to repurpose it all. The biggest and most expensive item I donated so that someone else wouldn’t have to spend a small fortune on purchasing it new. It was scooped up in no time.

We really need to start listening to the nature that we are all part of, not separate from. Most of the green-washing disgusts me. It’s just a marketing approach, essentially, and it serves to generate new consulting sectors for dealing with legislation and so on. What does it really accomplish if we don’t change our ways?

We are switching from a carbon-based world to a lithium-based world, without a thought for how the latter will affect us. There is very little true innovation.

Mines, mines, more mines, more open-cast mines! More transport of lithium and batteries over the world. No more oil tankers.Are we switching to lithium tankers now? (you know what I mean. We’re just shifting the problems, not resolving them.)

Granted, lithium-based transport reduces the noise level in the world. Electric engines are far quieter. So at least there’s that.

I have central air that even remains on when the glass sliding door to the balcony is wide open. The system was blowing a lot of fine dust and fibers into my place, until I purchased and applied filters. The filters also turned out to reduce the noise level substantially. I don’t complain, but I see the relative insanity of it. Maybe there is a purpose that still escapes me, but I doubt it.

I often seem to be gripped by the same despair that a lot of very young people have nowadays. When I was a teenager, the environment was a hot topic too, but we weren’t feeling desperate. We were determined. We all swore that we would never drive a car, my friends and I. I got my driving license at age 24, but I’ve only briefly owned a car when I needed to go to Sweden to fulfill a degree requirement. In some countries, not owing a car is far easier to do than in others, but it also depends on how you construct or (re)arrange your life.

Other than that, I too am far too wasteful. I am part of the plastic that ends up on a beach in Africa.

In the meantime, lots of people are savagely killing each other all over the world, savagely causing loads and loads of wasteful destruction.

I have no words for that.

I feel like an idiot. Powerless.

For every item I purchase, and every item I up-cycle or repair and reuse, and for any animal I rescue and rehab, and for anything else I want to accomplish, there is an army of bigger idiots waiting to destroy it.

The destruction of capital (resources) is one of the biggest forces in the world and the human drive to destroy seems unstoppable.

That’s because we don’t see it for what it is. It’s so hard to break free from this dogma that the creation and purchase of more stuff contributes anything to the world and to our wellbeing or even our safety. It rarely does.

I purchased a bunch of safety alarms at my previous place, but they got destroyed shortly after I started using them. So did my crockpot and the organic beans that I bought in bulk and used to cook in them.

I’m constantly being tempted to go buy a nice new pair of fleece pajamas because I am so indoctrinated by the idea that we need stuff, stuff and more stuff.

So far I have kept myself from doing that. Because I really don’t need it. I just think that I do because that is what I have been taught to believe.

A few years ago, I made a perfect standing desk from random stuff that others had thrown away, and packaging materials (which you’re also supposed to throw out). That just gets you mocked. You’re supposed to buy buy buy more stuff and more stuf and more stuff. Resist the urge, please. It’s so destructive.

At the moment, I’m pretty much sick of humans, frankly.

(Yeah, I am starting to see more and more where Julian Savulescu is coming from, but I wish that we wouldn’t need that cynicism and hopelessness.)

(By the way, I should add that some of my hopelessness comes from the Dutch National Science Foundation. The shortsightedness at the forefronts of the physical and natural sciences does not give me much hope either.) (I’m still chewing on this, I suppose.)

We need a completely new framework for living. For our lives.

About a year ago, something like what this woman describes appears to have happened to me too. All over North End – along Kingston Road between my address and Kingston Crescent and possibly also along London Road – ethnic men started recognizing me. They looked at me with a strange smiley expectation, as if they were expecting some kind of boundary-crossing behavior from me.

I also got a strange amused look from a young white woman who recognized me. I remember a white man who recognized me too and the look he gave me wasn’t pleasant but as if I had done something somewhat repulsive.

At around the same time, I’d received some kind of invitation, if I recall correctly.

It took me a while to realize that deepfake porn being circulated was the only thing that seemed to be able to explain what was going on.

I wrote about it online then. If I recall correctly, this was at the time that sharing deepfake porn became a crime too. So I added this information.

It all stopped then.

I wasn’t haunted by it as I’d never seen any images. This kind of thing, it’s just what Portsmouth is like anyway.

Watch the video. Here we have it again. This need to have control and power over a woman, supposedly a stranger.

The man who told Helen Mort about the deepfakes is likely the one who created them. Occam’s razor. Just like Ann Moulds’ tormentor was the “helpful” “supportive” guy. These guys often want to observe the effect of their handiwork up close.

https://www.theguardian.com/technology/2023/oct/28/how-did-deepfake-images-of-me-end-up-on-a-porn-site-nfbntw

Here we have it again. Why was it so crucial for this police officer to target 10-to-16-year-old girls so that he could have sadistic power and control over them? Where does this come from? Something to do with the endocrine system?

This power and control motive also often pays a role in stranger-stalking.

https://youtu.be/TAmBuMwRbR8?si=Ivma-EtVvEntz3Pk

Operate from strength, not from weakness, not from a place of fear and powerlessness.

Stand as tall as you can.

Don’t expect support.

Last night, (starting at 6:15 PM EST), I attended an online meeting that discussed clinical/medical bioethics and Islam. It was organized by Columbia University.

Below are a few take-aways.

One of the things that struck me is that the knowledge and experiences contributed by the three panel members are also very useful in for example the dialogue between liberals and democrats on the one hand and republicans on the other. Objections made by republicans are also often faith-based, even though that comes from within a very different setup. It’s too easy to simply reject everything that republicans say and ridicule them.

(I was also reminded of discussions with a Jewish friend who is a rabbi and studies many of the old writings within the Jewish faith.)

Islam is not one fixed set of rules and beliefs, like any other faith. For starters, there is the difference between Sunni and Shia.

Organ donation is generally accepted as permissible in Iran but not in Iraq, as an example. Organ donation can be viewed as an act of aggression against the human body (God’s creation).

Generally speaking, longevity is more important than quality of life for muslims.

That brings me to the following. It is generally assumed that “muslim” equals “Arabic” but Arabs make up only 20% of the muslim population. (I think that Indonesia, a country with strong historic ties to the Netherlands, is the largest muslim nation.)

Muslims make up 24.9% of the global population.

In the US, however, they make up only 1.1% of the population.

The need for dignity (as ill-defined as it may be) is universal, but the need for modesty is not and the need to consult with other family members and with clerics about medical decisions to be made is not universal either. Those latter two needs must be respected and taken into account too, however.

Spiritual wellbeing can also be part of good health. One of the panel members told the story of how she, as a physician in Saudi Arabia, had been confronted with a Nigerian woman who was on the hajj (the holy pilgrimage to Mekka), but had needed orthopedic surgery. She initially experienced her as a loud and angry woman and eventually decided to ignore her. At the end of the day, however, she returned to the woman and said a few prayers in Arabic with her. That – as it turned out – was all that this woman needed. She instantly quieted down and thankfully grabbed the physician’s hands. Her anguish had to do with her inability to continue the hajj.

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Yesterday, I listened to Ann Moulds’ story. I wasn’t looking for stalking cases; it just popped up.

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We’ve just had the 566th or so mass shooting in the US, 40% of the British are in poverty and many destitute (not even able to afford toilet paper), British university students have 50 pence to live on, on average, after they’ve paid the rent, we have so many active wars going on that I’ve lost count – the hate fires are burning far too hot – and the planet is no longer able to sustain us because it is buckling under the destruction we wreak.

But all is well.

Yeah, right.

And I still have a crazy lunatic on my tail, but that’s peanuts compared with the above. Or is it part of the same problem?

That’s what I want you to think about.

(No, not you, lunatic. Every time I sneeze, you think it’s a special message for you, sigh.)

The romantic notions foreigners often have about England, that’s Hollywood nonsense.

People who can’t afford toilet paper, that’s the real England. 40% of the Brits are currently in poverty. A great deal of that is deep poverty.

People who can’t afford toilet paper can very easily be recruited as pawns by psychopathic and narcissistic stalkers, too, by the way. Narcissists and psychopaths seems to have a knack for being flush.

By many, they are considered inferior human beings, England’s poor people. They get signs on the table for how to behave if they go to some of the places that hand outs free warm meals. They get mocked and ridiculed. They are supposed to have defective genes, low IQ and character flaws.

But all their “flaws” are caused by their poverty – such as by prolonged malnutrition – and that poverty is imposed by the government and by society.

(They have no need for anything like scientific services or art reproductions, by the way.)

University students in England are expected to be living on 50 pence per week, after rent, now. That’s about 2 pounds per month. It tells you the entire story of how England ‘s elitist class system works. (https://www.theguardian.com/money/2023/oct/26/university-students-england-50p-a-week-after-rent)

(It also tells you the story of a predatory real-estate market that is out of control. The high rents, that’s like demanding that people pay 30 or 40 bucks for a loaf of bread.)

The contrast with where I am now is so surreal that I feel I have very little in common with the people here. England is like outer space. That’s been my world for far too long. I’m like a UFO now.

The heating went on here before the end of September. In many English homes, the heating actually never goes on. Many people can’t afford it, but it’s also very un-English to have the heating on before December or January.

It’s nice to be warm, though. Certainly if you’re a little older.

Even already before the pandemic, tens of thousand of Brits died each winter as the result of not being able to heat their homes (properly), far more than in counties with cold climates.

I find the mindless consumerism that comes with prosperity immensely depressing when I look at it from a climate change and broader planetary perspective, but so is the vengeful destruction of poor people’s lives and things in England. The place is becoming one big torture chamber, isn’t it?

The poverty mindset in England is stifling too, though. I hate it. Because people impose it on each other. It’s paralytic. But I understand where it comes from.

Mustn’t have ideas above our station.

Besides, poverty shrinks your world immensely. From the moment you get up to the moment you crawl into bed, all your thoughts are about where you will find food.

Those thoughts include whether you will have enough energy to walk over to St Jude’s or St Agatha’s and back if you haven’t eaten much for too many days. The vile cruelty you get treated to for free at some of these places that hand out meals can be pretty soul-destroying. There are days on which you’ll rather go hungry than get a mouthful of that crap again. That too will go through your mind.

No wonder there is often so much loud drunken agony in England. People often scream like banshees, on the street, day and night. People are hurting very badly there.

If you’re from a famine-stricken or war-torn country, England will still seem pretty sweet though.

I’ve discovered that I really like English supermarkets and English foodstuffs. English supermarkets are no longer the display of sad paucity that they once offered, with just a few turnips, carrots and onions, but on the other hand, do not have the ridiculous fulltime presence of Japanese sushi chefs either.

The acceptability of the relative seediness of the storage-room look, and whether hot chocolate should be placed with coffees and teas or with jams and peanut butters or whether cake and laundry detergent go together, that’s a mere matter of opinion.

Nah, there is no such thing as hacking. That’s just something that older women make up to hide that they can’t handle smartphones and such. 🤔🥴

If you’re in a minority group, it’s hard to get heard at meetings. The men simply won’t hear you if you’re a woman. It’s not even necessarily deliberate. Here’s what you can do to change that.

https://www.bbc.com/news/business-66813552

An example: https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/oct/21/atilla-died-alone-and-seemed-to-have-no-family-but-a-sex-shop-told-a-surprisingly-different-story

Blindly promoting everything that isn’t coal, oil or natural gas – and over-focusing on CO2 – is a form of greenwashing that just shifts the problems. We need to learn to start thinking things through. We didn’t do that in the past. We need to make this obligatory in a way that goes far beyond environmental surveys (often mere windowdressing). It probably means that we need more visionary scientists in politics and fewer career politicians.

https://www.bbc.com/news/world-europe-67135047

An update: https://www.nuffieldbioethics.org/publications/assisted-dying-project

Do your best to withhold your snap judgements in daily life.

Look at this woman’s eyes.

Then look at this woman’s eyes.

Both women are genuinely afraid and desperate.

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Next-day follow-up:

Otherwise you will fall for this.

If you do fall for it, I won’t remind you that I already told you about this kind of shit now being possible years ago.

Why do these scammers target seniors? Because almost all seniors ar dumb and dense? No. Because they have money. It’s often the generation with the most money. (I saw some work about this by a Dutch university about five or six years ago.) Because they have children, friends and grandchildren.

You also need to keep in mind that systems like Alexa as well as the various video doorbells keep your recordings. So there is staff that has access to them. There’ve been news items in relation to that as well. But as you can see in the video below, that “courier” was caught thanks to the video doorbell.

There are pluses and minuses to everything. Most people still think as if we write with feathers and fountain pens and send paper letters. The obligatory paranoia that should come with using the digital realm – including the IoT – is very hard to adopt, for everyone. We distrust people, not things.

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RNW = Recovery North West Ltd

https://www.manchestereveningnews.co.uk/news/uk-news/robots-towing-away-badly-parked-27501630

Why is being stalked by a stranger so traumatic?

Because it erodes your sense of safety and your general sense of control over your life. (More so than if you, say, were to be diagnosed with cancer. That’s between you and the cancer.)

Because it is repetitive. (A rape is over once it’s over. Stalking can go on for years, sometimes even decades.)

Why is getting stalking by a stranger so stressful?

Because being stalked by a stranger causes a profound cognitive dissonance within you. Because you cannot believe what is happening. Because what is happening cannot possibly be happening. Except, it is. You are trying to reconcile something that shouldn’t be happening with something that is happening and you can’t. You can’t make them overlap. You can’t make this make sense, no matter how hard you try. And try you do and you will. Oh, you will try very hard. You have to. You have no choice. You have to figure this out because unless you do, you cannot tackle it, manage it, deal with it, handle it.

This becomes greatly exacerbated when police officers and others choose to disbelieve you when you tell them what is happening.

Because then you cannot believe that they refuse to believe you. It clashes with your belief about how these others are supposed to respond to a situation like this. So then you will need to ditch that belief, which will likely make you feel abandoned and alone, or you will cling to it only to experience time and time again that it is not a realistic belief.

When police officers largely dismiss you, this also often aggravates the situation. It can put you in danger. First, the stalker may get very angry if he finds out that you went to the police and as he is stalking you, it is likely that he will find out. Many stalkers become furious when someone calls them a stalker. Second, the relative lack of action on the side of the police can greatly boost the feelings of power and control the stalker may be after.

Because it may cause you to lose your job or your business and maybe your home as well.

Because it can cause you to lose friends and because it can cause your relationship to fall apart and your marriage to fail.

Because it can involve threats and may result in injuries to your pets or your children or other relatives.

Because it can come with theft or destruction of property, which can be highly personal items such as underwear or cherished mementoes.

“Criminalising defenders encourages collective stigma and sends off an intimidating message,” the IACHR said last year.

https://www.theguardian.com/2023/oct/12/human-rights-experts-warn-against-european-crackdown-on-climate-protesters

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/oct/12/how-criminalisation-is-being-used-to-silence-climate-activists-across-the-world

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2023/oct/12/threats-to-germanys-climate-campaigners-fuelled-by-politicians-rhetoric-says-activist

https://www.geoethics.org/post/happy-international-geoethics-day-2023

Later today, amnesty international sent this. Ouch.

It shows in your DNA. The effect is half that of smoking and twice that of obesity.

This is an example of how class thinking works out in practice. Tenants aren’t proper people but a lesser subspecies? That is a falsehood.

https://www.theguardian.com/society/2023/oct/10/living-in-privately-rented-homes-linked-to-faster-biological-ageing-study-finds

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Here’s another one.