Question: what does “watch” stand for in local slang?

There have been many themes in my abuse and one of them seems to have been about a watch. It’s included all sorts of people (well, one sort, mostly) in town constantly asking me for the time. That stopped at some point, but if anyone can tell me what that was about, then please tell me. Thank you.

Is it a warning?

“Watch out!” or “Watch it” or “I’m watching you.” ?

There’ve often been threats over the years and they were always veiled but also almost always followed up on and pretty vicious. I’m thinking of the animal cruelty, specifically.

(I can’t access this site so I can’t see what else it says.)

16:21: I just reported the following to Hampshire Police, via their website

I am a Dutch citizen who has been the target of relentless anonymous and sometimes not so anonymous abuse since I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. This has included physical attacks, a slogan on the wall, hacking, vandalism as well as lock-picking at two addresses in Portsmouth and animal cruelty. I used to report most of this, but that only made matters worse.

I have made four escape attempts from my abuse situation in recent years.

On my first attempt, I was intercepted by a police officer called Nikki. She took me back to my flat. As I have not been able (allowed) to support myself since I moved to Portsmouth, I had zero money and she found me walking along a highway near Portsmouth, with two suitcases.

I am a scientist. In 2019, after I came home to another incidence of vandalism inside my flat, a professor in the Netherlands contacted Gerald Vernon-Jackson on my behalf. I met with Vernon-Jackson who merely shrugged so nothing has changed.

I am currently being targeted from the flat under mine again (which currently has four or five different tenants). This has happened before over the years, but I have also witnessed before that someone else went into that flat when the tenant was not at home, so it is quite possible that someone else is going into the flat when nobody is home. For the record, I have also noticed a few ongoings that may indicate that there is drugs trafficking going on and that a pregnant woman is being used as a “front” of innocence. She gets shouted at a lot at times and something is certainly not right.

I just told them that if they kept harassing me, they were going to learn, and also not to dismiss me and terrorise me. That was followed by them targeting me again.

They seemed dirt-poor so I previously bought a doormat for them as the doormat that was there had disappeared. Because they and their visitors were constantly ringing the doorbells, I also had an extra set of keys made for them, but the ringing of the doorbells only stopped for a week or so. I thought that they were dirt-poor but I no longer believe that. There is something weird going on. They also seem to be targeting me particularly when the groundfloor neighbors are out. A coincidence?

This morning, I contacted a number of professional connections all over the world and asked them to start whipping up noise for me. I have been terrorised and far too many aspects of my life in Portsmouth sadistically controlled for nearly 15 years. I want my life back.

Added only here:

For the record, when I witnessed that someone else went into the flat, the tenant in question was not aware of that. (I mentioned it to him later; his name was Fancey.) He had just left; I was doing the dishes, saw him walk to his car and drive away. This was Easter Monday. (I think it was 2016, at around 1pm.) Shortly after, the doorbell rang and someone let himself or herself into the flat.

Previous tenants on the groundfloor were burgled shortly after they moved in, apparently by someone who picked the locks or who let themselves in with a key. Those tenants moved out the same day. The present tenants moved in next.

I have witnessed drug sales taking place outside, although this may have become less frequent in recent years. My curiosity was simply triggered by strange behaviors of people and cars so I ended up watching what exactly was going on. I have also seen people shoot up outside.

There has been drugs trafficking in the other building at this address; the people in that flat also harassed one of the other tenants (Croucher). Police intervened at some point.

There have been similar problems with tenants on the ground floor there (in the other building), but that seems to have stopped after a while. Loads of different people walking in and out and some harassment. I don’t know if there was drugs trafficking going on in that situation too. (I did report something to the council but they said that it was a matter for the police.)

The police, a we all know are worse than utterly useless, but what else can I do other than once again contact the police?

We have an equally useless landlord who could not care less and whose offices moved to a different location without telling us. It has no doorbell and no option for leaving postal mail.

The current folks in the flat under me may be Albanian. I have read that a lot of Albanian people are in terribly abusive situations here in the UK.

I am now starting to suspect that their abuse is not linked to the usual vile shit here in Portsmouth but is intended to protect themselves (in view of criminal activities, why else) and intimidate me.

I don’t know if the folks in the flat under me are aware of this website. (Next day: no, they are not. Something the woman said to me yesterday.)

They said that they were going to call the police about me and a guy who I had never seen before until today turned out to be standing behind the door to record me. (Different young guys, in different but similar-looking small grey and silver cars.) Except, there was nothing to call the police about. They opened the door when I came up the stairs. They attacked me verbally, but it first sounded as if she was going to apologize to me.

(The previous tenant used to do shit like that too – and other shit – because he thought that I was afraid of his dog.)

17:20: Have also now contacted a charity that helps Albanians in trouble.

20:42: They must be so pissed off that I installed an alarm on the front door because their visitors were constantly leaving it open. The alarm going off was getting them noticed by the motorcycle shop folks, I bet, the fact that there are different young guys walking in and out. That may be why they ramped up their crap against me? They now keep switching the alarm off. It’s not the folks on the ground-floor who are doing it.

When I was living in Amsterdam, there was drugs activity right next to me. I had no idea. I was clueless. Even though neighbors had told me that there had been drugs activity before (which is why they barged into my attic one day, when I was looking after a rescued stray cat who was still much too feral at that point and they’d clearly become suspicious), when the cops showed up, I still was clueless. I said something to one of the cops and he realized how clueless I was, gave me an indulgent (I suppose) smile but said nothing. It did not match what I had said.

There too, there were lots of comings and goings, but we didn’t have a wooden staircase (very common in England). That young woman, too, had been pregnant, apparently. That young woman too rang my doorbell once, claiming to have lost or forgotten her keys and I got a weird vibe at the time, that I couldn’t place. She said that she’d been to the hospital, had had a miscarriage. Perhaps. But knowing what I know now, had she been beaten or something, perhaps? She wore a kind of robe that had some blood on it. We called the fire brigade who helped her onto her balcony, wearing my old teal-green Cool Cat jogging pants, which she never returned. I laundered the robe, and left it at her door, but she then hung it on my door handle.

Is this similar to what is going on in the flat below? The vibe I get from the woman is similar. Hard to say why. Hard to describe, too. Aggressive? Defiant? Pliable and merely doing as told? She comes across as a puppet, somehow. I can’t put my finger on it what exactly it is, but the different young men and the different but similar cars and the shouting, the comings and goings without a pattern… it does not seem normal.

But it’s hard to tell.

I took the doormat away, by the way. Instead of confronting these young folks about various issues, I had decided to support them quietly, that is, in a way that made things easier for me as it would remedy the issues that way. Portsmouth is often like a war zone and it becomes exhausting and is also at times quite scary always having to confront people here. The fact that they are now harassing me more sort of caused the doormat to mock me every time I walked past it. Childish, yes.

In the meantime, they’ve purchased a vacuum cleaner anyway so there is no longer all the debris in front of their door anyway. That is why I got the doormat: to catch that debris. It looked like plant matter, by the way. Dried plant matter.


I sent an e-mail to 11 addresses all over the world this morning, with a bcc to 5 more addresses (two of which are local), asking for help. The stupid English class system means that I have no access to anyone in England on my own and get dismissed as a lying migrant or a delusional old cow or because I am a woman.

I’ve had enough of the abuse. I want my life back. In England, with its bonkers class system, that means that I need to ask powerful people for help because individuals like me have zero power here and can be abused relentlessly without any fear of repercussion for the abusers.

My phone is no longer on vibrate but now very loud instead.

All but one of the phones that I have pawned to Cash Converters to survive in recent years and then retrieved again mysteriously stopped working for a short while after I retrieved them.

The URL in my Twitter bio has changed from a URL shortlink to the full URL this morning. That strikes me as odd because I can’t explain it from an IT view other than that someone has high-jacked my internet access again.

02:34am: my doorbell rang

Someone came upstairs after having rung my doorbell. That’s the 3rd time this week someone from that flat woke me up in the middle of the night. It’s the same person who was rummaging around last evening. Same voice.

04:30 night of 21 and 22 March

00:30 last night (night of 23 and 24 March)

02:34 tonight (night of 24 and 25 March)

03:04 the vibration symbol on my phone has disappeared again; see earlier post

There was also the Friday evening (7 February) when someone rang my doorbell at 10:00 pm for a long time and tried to break the front door down. That lasted for about half an hour, I reckon.

These are the folks who I had already given a set of extra keys because they kept ringing the doorbell as they didn’t have the money to have keys made for all the people who are using that flat. It helped only for about a week, but overall, it has kept the doorbell ringing down.

The veritable army of folks who go into the flat under mine and target me seem to be doing this when they know that the downstairs neighbors are away.

Continue reading


It’s been quiet on my screens and equipment the rest of the day. One e-mail came in twice this morning – no, not on gmail – and that was likely “him” trying to alert me to something, after the fact, by way of explanation for something that had happened in the world, something that I had missed because I was too busy figuring out what the fuck was being done on yet another fucking phone.

(Yes, he does that sometimes, get the same mail to me 2 to 10 times.)

I’m a wreck and all I did today was watch videos, basically, and cry a tiny little bit.

(Wasn’t much else I could do anyway, though.)

This anonymous abuse, this immense control of so many aspects of my life, it’s killing me. It’s been going on for nearly 15 years. That’s fucking unbelievable. Started slow, increasingly geared up.

18:35: I wish I were dead. I wish this fucking sadistic hell were over, this vile sadistic control of my life, and the vile hostility of Portsmouth. The stupid relentless hate. All of it.

18:56: I did get yet another email about the covid volunteering today and I got two from the Cooperative Bank, and just now one about writing my will but nothing at all today that had much relevance. I also just got this again after I decided to reboot my computer:

I had rebooted because the computer was suddenly sluggish and after the (warm) reboot I got this for Twitter, which I also had gotten two or three days ago, also after a reboot. Four minutes later, at 19:00, I heard the hdd rattle, I couldn’t type here any longer, and I had to flip the power switch again, but I could not see any actual evidence of someone doing stuff. After the second reboot, Twitter gave no errors; I ascribe the will-writing ad that I got in my Twitter stream then to sheer coincidence.

8:55: Phone interference

About ten minutes ago, I discovered that Bluetooth had been switched on (without the symbol for it showing) and my phone had been put on vibrate, sound off. I noticed a symbol with three squiggly lines that I didn’t recognize, so I started exploring. (The symbol reminded me a little of the symbol for the Dutch police, btw.) I can’t switch it off because then apparently, I will not get sound notification either. I could and did switch bluetooth off.

That’s the old one, the phone that I use for wifi tethering these days because the two modern ones stopped doing internet access around Christmas.

I know that “bluetooth” has an urban slang meaning. I bet “vibrate” does too. A lot of the stuff that is done to me in Portsmouth later turns out to have had some urban slang meaning (usually for genitals or sex acts).

On the two phones that I had before the current four, I also often found bluetooth switched on.

I’ve also found the torch switched on as I was walking around town when the bluetooth had also been activated and the phone was in my pocket.

This is why I almost never have a phone on me.

This may be a good time to remind folks that there is someone out there who has a valid copy of my driving licence and several bank cards for me of which one or two will still look valid (expiry date in 2026). The driving licence can only be identified by its issue number but that is not printed on it…

I added and wrote this post on my computer, which is behaving normally right now.

09:44: I just tested; the vibration is loud enough to alert me, so I am going to leave things like this.

09:48: is this (login into something on my computer) a coincidence? Probably… (09:50: yes, looks like a mere coincidence)

7:39: monk parakeet, mum, poverty

It’s popped up before. (It popped up and then disappeared in a flash just now.)

You know what? The sun’s out and birds are singing. Plus, I am enjoying my morning coffee.

Cowardly grouchy Portsmouth can’t touch me either. I merely observe it and wonder how it all came about. It’s so weird.

That said, “monk parakeet, mum, poverty” comes from a toddler who is throwing his toys out of the pram, a recalcitrant teenager screaming insults or from someone who doesn’t have many emotions and is baffled by the emotions of others, therefore seeks to evoke them in order to study them.

Meanwhile, my brain’s ringing hasn’t stopped yet and has gotten louder again. So if you keep it up, chances are you will soon need a new guinea pig.

None of us get to create ourselves. We all just do the best with what we’ve got.

For the record, this hacker person (?) may see himself as a sea creature, a dolphin or a whale. Just in case this means anything to anyone out there.

8.08 pm: more gaslighting

Hahaha. I just received a spontaneous elaborate email from one party (STAT) under the heading “unable to deliver” explaining to me why I have no longer been receiving their newsletters. Hahaha. Telling me they can no longer deliver them because I unsubbed. Hahaha. Genius.

What’s next, dude, an elaborate explanation for why I get so much commercial nonsense from others instead now and why I so often can’t reach anyone, and why I for example get access codes for nonexisting email from scientist friends I used to know and can never reach any medical practitioners unless I stop by in person and at best get replies from Daffy Duck at the Donald Duck gmail address?

Dude, stop the nonsense. Het ligt er duimendik bovenop. You may be able to successfully fool everyone in this town but you never managed to do that to me and you know it.

Whoever you are…

(Is this even only one person?! Doubtful. Far too much time goes into this effort of controlling so many aspects of my life and thwarting just about everything that I do.)

21:30: Ah, so you don’t want to be “homeless” after all, eh?

(An email about the year ahead, from Streetlink, which I do not even support, thanking me for my continued support. I was in touch with them once about a local person and they advised me to contact what turned out to be a nonexisting council program. I was not impressed. I remember that there was another factor that made me doubt either their usefulness or their intentions.)

21:44: And now you have signed me up to something new, which I will undoubtedly not be able to access, as usual, so I am not even going to look into what it is.

(An email at another email address, at protonmail, something about flocks)

21:59: What else is new?

What? Elon Musk has killed the idea of me supporting myself, has he? Really?!

Another day: Here we go again

11:08: Am not posting this from my computer.

I lost internet access at 10am, rebooted my old phone (I tether) and noticed that shit started slowing down ridiculously again when I was about to edit a text about what constitutes a life not worth living. Decided to stop doing that.

At 11am, the fan started gearing up again. I wasn’t doing anything at all on the computer. I decided to shut down the computer and found that it stayed on after it went black. This can be caused by a hacker-initiated process that is still running. Flipped the wall switch again.

This sort of nonsense also used to happen on my older computer that I have had at this residence. Different architecture.

12:24: The computer fan suddenly gearing up also sometimes happens when I am at the public library, sometimes on the computer that I am on (sometimes after I’ve logged off) and sometimes on an idle (not being used at all) computer next to me. At the library, I have also had brief screen blackouts that indicate that a second monitor is being activated that has the same account on the screen and I’ve had at times indications that I wasn’t actually on the library’s computer network.

The same stuff also happened on my older computer. The gearing up of the fan has sometimes been used to indicate anger. The “wind” gearing up. (There’s also been something about doors closing and opening a lot, which was ascribed to the wind doing that, too.) One time, I had a complete circus going on with both my computers doing really weird shit, one beeping and rebooting like crazy and the other one’s screen went haywire, too, and then the printer suddenly started spewing blank pages. It stopped abruptly, after I shot off an e-mail about what was going on and how childish it was, from my phone, to a friend in the States. Around Easter last year, both my computers were disabled for weeks after I wrote online about the stuff that was going on. Then they suddenly were working again and then stopped again for a week or so. Around Christmas, two of my phones stopped going online and one English SIM card and my Dutch card were suddenly asking for PUK codes. A little later, at the public library, someone kept opening the web page that I had written about what goes on in Portsmouth, so apparently, it was all punishment for that. I am supposed to keep my mouth shut.

13:58: Am utterly exhausted again. Whoever it is who keeps terrorizing and sabotaging me, I’m fed up.

14:24: Here we go again. I sent two e-mails, from two different addresses, both got blocked/rejected by an agency I have never been in contact with before and I can’t use their web-based contact form either. (See images below)

  1. (Purpose: marketing/promotion/reaching out with small bit of free assistance)

2. Computer froze again when arrow cursor changed into hand in this post, am posting these two paragraphs not from computer.

(Above: Response to second e-mail)
(Above: Response to first e-mail)

(This is what my life has been like A LOT since I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. Police know all about it, and so does the city council. Too often being unable to reach anyone and lots of other crap.)

14:50: Tried a second e-mail address that is listed on the agency’s website and I get the same result.

So I wrote to “postmaster”. Same result!

14.57: So then I wrote to and told them that their email was down. This had an effect on what was happening on my screen and I can also suddenly type normally again. Haven’t heard back yet.

15:00: no, no response from yet but it does feel like whoever the hell was in my computer cleared the heck out when I sent THAT e-mail. Everything seems to be working normally again all of a sudden (much faster).

15:02: Response from Ameer at, as follows: “I am a little confused with your query. Please let me know whether you are facing any mail delivery issue, and if that is the case please update us with the bounce message or sender/recipient/subject detail so that I will be able to help you further.”

Meanwhile, yep, computer considerably faster, no delays in typing either. (Someone got out of my equipment to be able to pretend to be “Ameer”?)

Headers of most recent rejection response:

Return-Path: <>
Received: from ( [])
	(using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384 (256/256 bits))
	(No client certificate requested)
	by (Postfix) with ESMTPS id 4Pj7fb1JVFz3c2M
	for <>; Thu, 23 Mar 2023 07:54:47 -0700 (PDT)
Received: from inbound-trex-2 (unknown [])
	by (Postfix) with ESMTP id 8E79F802E6
	for <>; Thu, 23 Mar 2023 14:54:46 +0000 (UTC)
ARC-Seal: i=1; s=arc-2022;; t=1679583286; a=rsa-sha256;
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;;
	s=arc-2022; t=1679583286;
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1;
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Received: from
 ( [])
	(using TLSv1.2 with cipher ECDHE-RSA-AES256-GCM-SHA384)
	by (trex/6.7.2);
	Thu, 23 Mar 2023 14:54:46 +0000
Received-SPF: none (dmarc-service-7db665d8b4-wls8c: domain of  does not
 provide an SPF record) client-ip=; envelope-from=postmaster@;;
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	id C79F8880485; Thu, 23 Mar 2023 14:54:44 +0000 (UTC)
Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2023 14:54:44 +0000 (UTC)
From: (Mail Delivery System)
Subject: Undelivered Mail Returned to Sender
Auto-Submitted: auto-replied
MIME-Version: 1.0
Content-Type: multipart/report; report-type=delivery-status;
Content-Transfer-Encoding: 8bit
Message-Id: <>


Headers first rejection response:
Received: by 2002:a05:6358:7e51:b0:110:8583:5ae2 with SMTP id p17csp2163747rwm;
        Thu, 23 Mar 2023 06:58:08 -0700 (PDT)
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ARC-Seal: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; t=1679579888; cv=none;; s=arc-20160816;
ARC-Message-Signature: i=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;; s=arc-20160816;
ARC-Authentication-Results: i=1;;
       dkim=pass header.s=20210112 header.b=NFMmIDCn;
       spf=none ( does not designate permitted sender hosts);
       dmarc=pass (p=QUARANTINE sp=QUARANTINE dis=NONE)
Return-Path: <>
Received: from ( [])
        by with SMTPS id v206-20020aca61d7000000b00387502ba6f6sor848105oib.154.2023.
        for <>
        (Google Transport Security);
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Received-SPF: none ( does not designate permitted sender hosts) client-ip=;
       dkim=pass header.s=20210112 header.b=NFMmIDCn;
       spf=none ( does not designate permitted sender hosts);
       dmarc=pass (p=QUARANTINE sp=QUARANTINE dis=NONE)
DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;; s=20210112; t=1679579888;
X-Google-DKIM-Signature: v=1; a=rsa-sha256; c=relaxed/relaxed;; s=20210112; t=1679579888;
X-Gm-Message-State: AO0yUKXHm4rGdaSbplwwefSUzHPq/OnBq4mswYCINgAaSdZpnSEgMWjs vhos7XMchMOzoAFqMRpiVgitnEZLIa0KUZRW9ePSkQ==
X-Google-Smtp-Source: AK7set9vO0he94Tsy6OBg3E7/vVH14CgEOxZvj15iaavHjoTQHiWEDt6P0tVUiEhCRBmkTxK8EzXxWYyn4EU8MgVofUUP0jGbCU9/nI=
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        Thu, 23 Mar 2023 06:58:08 -0700 (PDT)
Content-Type: multipart/report; boundary="00000000000099952c05f791aac7"; report-type=delivery-status
Received: by 2002:a54:4884:0:b0:386:a6d2:30ac with SMTP id r4-20020a544884000000b00386a6d230acmr2678115oic.1; Thu, 23 Mar 2023 06:58:08 -0700 (PDT)
Return-Path: <>
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Date: Thu, 23 Mar 2023 06:58:08 -0700 (PDT)
From: Mail Delivery Subsystem <>
Subject: Delivery Status Notification (Failure)
References: <>
In-Reply-To: <>

Content-Type: multipart/related; boundary="00000000000099a0ec05f791aac8"

Content-Type: multipart/alternative; boundary="00000000000099a0f305f791aac9"

Content-Type: text/plain; charset="UTF-8"

** Message blocked **

Your message to has been blocked. See technical details below for more information.

The response from the remote server was:
550 5.4.1 Recipient address rejected: Access denied. AS(201806281) [ 2023-03-23T13:58:07.997Z 08DB2A521F9D928E]

18:40: I merely got more nonsense after that. This, by the way, was not the only thing that happened. Something else was deleted too (besides the text in the next post). This morning. In an account for which the 2FA mysteriously enough won’t work.

6:35 am: The Nonsense is Gearing Up Again

Following morning at 7:00: Still no reply, but there is a “last chance” email and a “final hours” email and one about the relocation of horses in a nearby county (which I deleted). Last evening, there still was an email from the mayor of London (about Ramadan) and one from Futurism.

What happened with yesterday’s online meeting has happened several times before. There was for example a meeting in the UK that got postponed, about policing and the prevention of violence in communities, organised by a consultancy firm. I noticed that a webpage about it contained different date information when I looked at it on different equipment that I had just bought (not locally and out of sight of island locals) and was using at a Starbucks. Then, too, when the meeting took place, there was no link to access the meeting.

21:11: Still no reply (and the page just moved down again, and the cursor went to the highlighted word “sabotage”, which could be and likely was a mere innocent hiccup). The emails from lady freethinker etc arrive in periods; sometimes there are none at all for a long time and then they suddenly start coming in again. They’re often about dogs.

20:39: Crap going on on my HDD and here (on this page). Time to reboot again. (yeah, had to flip the power switch on the wall again)

20:13: Believe it or not, in spite of all this interference, I am still managing to start earning a little bit of money again, after I had protested so loudly and vehemently against all the horrific abuse last year that really scared me to death because it was so immensely sadistic and very deliberate sabotage. I was terrified, utterly terrified. Staff at Asda have seen me look utterly petrified with fear at some point, after that particular sabotage began. What is going on in my life, what is being done to me, is so utterly utterly vile. (And just now, at 20:23, this page moved down again all by itself.)

19:46: Here we go again and no, there is nothing on the page that indicates that any changes are being carried out or whatever and yes, this is gmail, and this bit has no aura reading stuff in it, but as you can see, nothing particularly useful either and zero replies; these were e-mails I received today between 2.14 and 5.30pm). There was one earlier mail, received at 2:04 pm from Campaign Legal Center about a webinar tomorrow. I haven’t checked if I can actually sign up for this one; the topic is not of interest to me.

See immediately below for the explanation of the next two images.  Michael Ashley Stein is a disability advocate. A video of the event will likely be posted on YouTube later but that’s not the same as attending in real time, when you can ask questions and exchange links or other information.

17:09: Another online meeting, of which I have attended many before, for which there is no option on the page to sign up this time. A mere coincidence? An error on the side of the organizer in other words? New staff? Have contacted the organizer via two separate channels. No reply yet. I’ve corresponded with them via both channels before. (19:00: Still haven’t heard back from them, on either channel, which is out of character and the event is in an hour, so yep, my outgoing comms are getting fucked with again or the page has gotten messed with and I was once again looking at an adapted mirror of it – I know exactly how that might work as I’ve used httrack – and sounded like an idiot.) (I also keep getting e-mails to do with a Covid volunteering app that I can’t even install any longer, apart from the fact that 12 to 18 months have passed in the meantime. See one of the above images.)

16:46: Yep, had also ended up with another empty remote file again.

16:30ish: Definitely in my computer again, I noticed (and yes, sometimes I can tell for certain, just like I used to be able to tell when “they” were in the phone that I bought in 2009 when the thing would suddenly light up all by itself, which they couldn’t see and I kept quiet about), after I rebooted by flipping the power button because shit had started freezing again.

10:51: Yep, definitely bizarre local nonsense going on again in town (and now also on my computer again, methinks).

Yep, ordering my files by date suddenly has gone haywire (while my arrow keys are working normally again) and I am now getting ads for bariatric surgery in Turkey (on Finviz); this is starting to sound similar to what I got throughout 2010. (In case you don’t know this, several people have just died within this very specific surgery context.)

And when I searched for it to make sure it is indeed the same kind of surgery, I got this again, on my computer, in a browser window that is wider than my screen, and no, I don’t normally get this:

Look what posting the above resulted in next:

6:35: Yep.

Possibly including the old childish “let’s wake her up in the middle of the night” games being played in the flat immediately under mine? 🤣 Where the current tenant has done things like discard tissues in wall decorations around Christmas and open the door when I walk by and… never mind, it’s too childish for words. (Anyway, I am knackered today.) (This nonsense also seems to coincide with front doors being left open again, by the way. Coincidence? I’ve installed an alarm as the ground-floor neighbors weren’t happy with finding the door standing open either, but someone keeps switching it off. If the alarm is on, at least we are alerted to it when the damn door is left standing open again and we can go close it.)

  • As most of my incoming and outgoing emails are being captured and stopped and/or altered and/or redirected, and my STAT mails among many other things aren’t arriving any longer in my gmail, I signed up to STAT news with a different email address. The confirmation email arrived along with a second confirmation email for a legit book publishing service that I signed up for some time ago (Kobo). It was marked as already having been read but was dated the same day. If it’s some kind of cryptic “message” again, well, I am not getting it. I don’t speak the local vernacular.
  • What I still get on my Gmail address is 99.9 per cent junk on most days now. The remainder is mostly Amazon emails, XR emails, Veem mails and the like.
  • I also just received an invitation for a legit public health webinar that I don’t even have access to. Ha ha.
  • Some webpages have been asking me for my location again and the home page on this site have been forcing me to click “leave” again.
  • On this website, when I am writing a post or amending a page, the arrow keys often have been reprogrammed. The back arrow initially was taking me to the end of the word. Then this stopped for a while – it was working normally – after which instead of moving the cursor one space to the left it took me to the end of the paragraph.
  • The angle grinder ads (signaling that I am about to get my head cut off?) seem to have been replaced by car rental ads (and the tool bars and toolbox in one of my programs – one that has gotten messed with a lot for about a year – now constantly gets removed).
  • Prince’s most beautiful girl is popping up, too.

Right now, there is no interference. I can type normally – bliss – and my arrow keys are working normally too. Everything else is fine too at the moment.

In case anyone wonders why I’m not showing what I was looking at on Finviz (the screenshot with the ad box), that’s just because I don’t want to give anyone the wrong ideas. I happened to be looking at one particular insider trading event, out of sheer curiosity, because the size was HUGE and so was the amount of money involved. It concerns a stock I have zero interest in, but I wondered who the insider was. A director, a billionaire heir even, as it turns out, and he had a long series of sales of that particular share. No purchases. It may be someone who is about to retire; I didn’t look into it because it did not interest me. I like trying to spot patterns and increase my understanding, that’s all.

And yes, my life has really been a nightmare since I moved to Portsmouth. How on earth can you function in today’s world when someone keeps you in an electronic cage and controls and sabotages so many aspects of your life? I don’t even know who it is, who is doing this to me, although I do think it’s more than one person. Has to be but I often talk about “him” and “he”. I used to think I knew who it was, but that could be possible logistically, and then it started looking as if it was one other specific person, but the truth of the matter is that I have no clue because a hacker can literally be anyone and can pretend to be anyone else and there’ve certainly been lots of smoke and mirror games as well, so how the fuck would I know who the fuck is doing this to me.

Portsmouth being such a vicious place hasn’t exactly helped either. Folks like Vernon Jackson and various folks around me have in fact okayed my abuse by condoning it, by pretending that it isn’t happening, that I’m just a demented or learning-disabled old cow.

The level of blind hate in Portsmouth is horrific. I encountered some of it again, yesterday (and also something unpleasant again today, yes, from strangers who think they know me). It’s something you can always count on herein Portsmouth, that ugly hate. It always pops up again. The contempt. Sometimes, it’s the horrible, ice-cold, I’d-stab-you-in-the-heart-bitch-if-I could-Pompey-flavor contempt. It comes from people I know absolutely nothing about, let alone why they have so much contempt for me. It’s always around. Always. When you forget about it for a moment, there it suddenly is again, rearing its ugly head when you don’t expect it.

Portsmouth is an awful place. Brimming with blind contempt and discontent.

A thought: Could my hacker(s) see blocking my access to an online event as my “punishment” for having signed up for a tai chi session on Sunday and not having attended it? Then again, he has issues in the run-up to Easter and even more so in the run-up to Christmas. Well, he always has issues but in those periods, they are worse. More likely, his goal is to try to make me believe that some people are deliberately sending me incomplete information, “hiding” things from me and ignoring me or worse, have it in for me. (ha ha) Has previously done that with local folks, with scientists who I used to know etc etc, and also the opposite at times (e-mails that made no sense and would only have represented a waste of precious time for the folks in question if they had been genuine). It’s also possible that he genuinely does not understand why I do certain things and wants to control me as if I am like a three-year-old, but I doubt it.

The hacking interference on my equipment

I should probably point out that I cannot rule out the possibility that my phones and my computers at times are being used for something highly illegal (such as spying on women and selling or sharing of the images and videos), but if so, there is nothing I can do about it.

Every time there is a new item about for example someone going to prison for 21 months because of such matters, I can’t help but wonder whose thighs and crotch where in those many files on my computer.

For years, I’ve reported a lot of the stuff that’s been going on, to the police and to others. The police, and many others, also know about the lock-picking. So I am in the clear. Period.

Continue reading

Philip Roger just contacted me again

He writes as follows, like last time:


My name is Philip Roger, Research director At reputable company
in United Kingdom , I would like to share with you some business
insights .

Please Kindly reply me on my personal email

Note: You have the right to quit by the end of my detailed
explanation and you don’t feel like moving forward with me.

But Trust me, you won’t regret it.

Best Regards

Philip Roger

Continue reading

14:38 – 14:48: the sadists are at it again

Stupid sadistic losers. Whiny pants itty bitty incel babies.

I know EXACTLY where it’s been coming from for all these years.

Unfortunately, the local police are as corrupt and misogynistic as hell as well (as is almost everyone else in this vile sadistic shit show of a town so it’s not as if it’s anything unusual).

Thankfully, I saw it coming and wasn’t gonna fall for the trap.

Important market data coming up, but as they can log into my trading account, press buttons in my account and do other shit, they can cause a lot of havoc and they love it. They love causing as much frustration as possible, love thwarting what you want to do. (So, no, to spell it out, I didn’t trade the data.)

This abuse is vile and sadistic. Intended to hurt. Intended to cause as much loss in my life as possible, of any kind, from my cherished possessions in the US to my friends, colleagues and clients.

Also intended to manipulate and fool folks.

Nothing positive or well-intentioned about it whatsoever.

Incel-style misogyny. Targeted at independent feminists. At strong women.

(I am not the only female business owner who’s been targeted in this town. I’m also not the only foreign business owner who’s been targeted in this town and whose business got killed in this town. The city council prefers to pretend that none of this is happening.)

I’d tried to download the latest custom software earlier (to see if I could get 2FA to work in that), and couldn’t. There had to be a reason for that, for not being able to download it. Has worked before, after all and there is no reason why it should not work, but all I got was a white page this time, no matter what I tried.

So I didn’t do what they hoped I would do.

So then they tried to trick me into it, possibly, as follows.

  • Computer fan started gearing up like crazy for no reason in the run up to the data
  • (they’ve done that many times before, also in connection with market data, yes; my hacking includes a great deal of hardware-hacking, rather than just software-hacking)
  • So I closed everything down and rebooted
  • Turned out to have lost internet connection completely (I know why)
  • Saw my phone signal – I tether via wifi because I have to – in the air in duplicate (my computer saw two instances, yes; I suspect that they’ve tricked my computer into logging into the wrong one) and a new wifi signal called “sourov” (I’m the foreign danger)
  • I’d earlier (this morning) already gotten some stupid “nah nah nah nah nah” stuff

(They also sometimes feed me false information, just for the lulz)

Why they don’t just kill me? Nah, much more fun to slowly torture someone to death in all sorts of ways.

17:45: I ended up spending another 75 bucks on fighting this sadistic bullshit again. Besides the loss of income, it also costs me quite a bit of money in terms of constantly being forced to buy new equipment to try to keep this malicious interference out of my life. If I don’t at least try, I might as well commit suicide on the spot, goddammit.

Een uur later: 15 jaar achterlijke Engelse terreur. Ik ben die terreur ZO ONTIEGELIJK ZAT! Het is echt pure terreur. Als je hier een tijd woont, snap je volkomen hoe de IRA is ontstaan. (Natuurlijk zie ik dat echter als een waardevol inzicht. Je ziet hier ook veel spanning tussen Schotland en Engeland.) Godsamme, wat zijn die Engelsen sadistisch. Die gaan echt zonder blikken of blozen over lijken. Het komt me allemaal zo mijn strot uit! Maar ze zijn ook vaak stekeblind en steendoof, kennelijk, denken dat ze gewoon over anderen heen kunnen lopen en dat anderen dan braaf “dankjewel” zullen zeggen dus dat moeten ze soms uitgelegd krijgen.

(Je wou soms echt dat je dood was. Ik heb op 13 december een klein incident met mijn hart gehad. Van de ene kant dacht ik toen dat ik nog helemaal niet dood wilde maar ik dacht ook dat als het zo verder moet, ik dan echt niet meer wil en ik echt klaar ben met het leven en volkomen tot sterven bereid. De dood doet me helemaal niets meer, het idee om dood te zijn of dood te gaan. Er zitten voor mij alleen nog maar positieve kanten aan vast. Doodgaan lijkt me echt heerlijk.)

(Ik heb hier lang geleefd met een heel grote voorraad paracetamol. Zo hield ik het vol, wetend dat als ik de terreur echt niet meer aan kon en ik geen microgrammetje hoop meer had voor een betere toekomst ik die paracetamol kon grijpen. Zo heb ik hier jaren geleefd, met een hoop paracetamol als een soort god of troost of verlossing of wat dan ook, als steun. Ik heb die pillen een tijd geleden weggemieterd; ze waren inmiddels erg oud en je gaat niet per se dood van een berg paracetamol als die voor jou toevallig niet groot genoeg blijkt te zijn.)

(Momenteel gebruiken ze trouwens het, mogelijk Russische, jongetje en zijn maat en zijn vriendin in de flat onder mij om me te “na te doen”, anderszins in de zeik te zetten en me te terroriseren. Ze denken dat ik achterlijk ben dus doe ik of mijn neus bloed. (Hij zal het ook wel zijn die tegenwoordig de sloten pikt, dan.) Vandaag, toen ik de computer uitzette en vervolgens zag wat er precies in de lucht was, deed hij – althans, een jongeman in die flat – luidkeels alsof hij moest braken en toen rende hij de woning uit; het hacken gaat te opvallend vaak gepaard met het in- en uitrennen van jonge lieden in de flat onder me en het stroomcircuit wordt gebruikt om mijn offline computer te benaderen; ja, zo van de pot gerukt zijn ze bezig, die plaatselijke klootzakken. Daarvoor was het die bullebak Danny boy, een hacker en gamer, maar ik geloof niet dat hij veel meer kon dan in oude en dus volledig onbeschermde mobiels hacken. Hij was niet al te snugger; hij deed braaf wat hem aan de telefoon werd gezegd dat hij moest doen (ik hoorde hem een keer, toevallig). Die rotzooide echter ook met mijn post; ik heb hem een keer op heterdaad betrapt. Ik denk dat hij aan de hackmeister doorgaf wat voor post ik kreeg en dat ze dan keken of daar op de een of andere manier mee te rotzooien was, zoiets. Maar er zit ook een venijnige en mogelijk niet helemaal goed sporende postbode in het plaatselijke terreurnetwerk.)

PS locals, yeah, sure kids, 1 buck per month is way more than 20 bucks per day… I wish I could agree on that kind of arithmetic instead of on agreeing that your high-school education sucked pretty badly, apparently. But it ain’t that… It’s sheer malice, what’s behind it.

Just spent another 40 pounds, turned out to be completely wasted.

Oh! Ha ha ha ha!

Now I know why I was getting all those loan offers for which I knew I couldn’t possibly be eligible…

(Always needing to rub it in, nah nah nah nah nah.)

Unfortunately, most people still think as if we are still driving horse-drawn carts and writing with feathers and fountain pens. They have no idea…

(Now I also know what those few male youngsters’ faces were about that I’ve encountered in the past week or so, I bet. Nah nah nah nah nah.)

(I wondered what was up.)

(They clearly weren’t getting it. They’ll never do, I’m sure.)

How these things go (when people are pestering you)

Around the holidays, there was a lot of interference again, apparently as punishment for a web page in which among other things I talk about stuff that has happened to me here in Portsmouth. (Weeks-long punishment also happened around Easter for writing about stuff done from the the day I picked up the keys to my first flat here. I’m supposed to keep my mouth shut, quietly sit in a corner of a back room and knit hats.)

This time, among other things, two of my SIM cards were suddenly asking for a PUK code, including my Dutch SIM card. I later found that I couldn’t access my account online for that card either, when I thought of asking for a replacement.

Some time later, both cards were working fine again and no longer asking for a PUK code.

So, I have some money – 20 euros – in my Dutch bank account right now so I could ask and pay for a replacement card.

First of all, is it necessary? I don’t know. I did transfer one of my English numbers – the one that I use for 2fa – to a new SIM card last year. Because it is something that I can DO.

Second, would they be willing to send the card to the UK?

Third, if so, would it arrive?

Fourth, if so, might it then already have been tampered with? Because of what’s going on here?

Fifth, would it really make a difference? As it would likely still remain just as easy to interfere with it.

This morning, one of my phones said “Angelina stalking ja” in my typing suggestions.

“Angelina stalking yes”

That phone also keeps telling me that Google feels that there is unusual traffic coming from my phone and then asks me to do one of those visual verification exercises with bridges or fire hydrants. (This has happened before in the past few years.)

It also now keeps insisting on downloading the NOS app when I go to the NOS news site, which it didn’t do before, just like LinkedIn currently insists on logging me in and out automatically, via Google, on my computer, which it didn’t used to do before. LinkedIn also insisted on changing the interface language to Dutch, which it also did not used to do before. These three things may merely be quirks, however.

I didn’t try to order the replacement SIM. Every time I do one of these things, either several more problems crop up or the thing that I was trying to solve still has not been solved or gets done again.

(Such as me adding and upgrading locks. No, folks, candy bars don’t walk into my flat all by themselves, CoQ10 bottles don’t empty themselves all by themselves and monitors sitting somewhere safely don’t move themselves around and rearrange themselves while I am out, just to name a few things.)

I didn’t top up my phone balance on that card either. (It’s zero.) Why bother?

But two of my English banks often won’t let me make a payment without demanding verification in their app. Their ways of verification are rather haphazard, which is of course a good thing. But I often can’t access the apps and I currently don’t have a single phone that isn’t compromised. If I allow that situation to continue, I am asking for problems, am I not?

So I have looked at Apple products, but they tend to be far too pricey for me and when they’re not, because used, they tend to be so old that they are no longer supported.

Should I try to get a fixed landline again, then?

But my landline got fucked with too in the past. It told me that I was at death’s door and that my mailbox was full.

I’d better learn to go sit on the patio and yodel or use smoke signals if I want to communicate with anyone, including my banks.

Continue reading

IT trouble, big time

Two, no, three phones that stopped going online and next, two SIM cards, one of which Dutch, that asked for PUK codes but that were working again a few days later.

That was recently. Over the holidays.

That, apparently, was punishment for my web page about things that were done to me in Portsmouth because I always get punished for when I talk about things being done to me in Portsmouth and because when I went to the public library to use the computers there, someone kept opening that page on the computer that I was on. It wasn’t me who was accessing that page at the time.

I found mysterious rubbish files on one or two of the phones. Have had mysterious rubbish files, before, on my computer’s fixed HDD, the older one. Of naked women’s thighs. I figured they were mine, made with my own phone, and I just deleted the lot. They were filling up deeply hidden directories so fast that my operating system no longer had enough space to run.

I currently have loads of rubbish files filling up at least one of my phones again.

Plus, I not only got a message that my 80 GB data have almost run out, which is pretty NUTS (though I may have a potential explanation for it that would also be a bit nuts; ok let’s assume that), my HDD has been buzzing like crazy and keeps buzzing like crazy, too, and my internet connection keeps breaking up. (I tether. Have to.)

I can’t get fixed broadband here (because just like in Southsea, it appears that my address has disappeared off some of the official address records database, or whatever).

I don’t want broadband via wifi, for obvious reasons.

I can’t report any of this anywhere. There IS no agency where you can report hacking that isn’t done to steal money from you but to pester you and to sometimes cost you money, sometimes even relatively large sums, but not to steal money from you (as far as I can tell).

Even if hacking is done to steal money from you, all you can do is report it on a national website, for the statistics.

(And there’s a lot of weird shit going on in the flat under me, but hey, this is Portsmouth, so it’s likely not related, even though for example hacking activity has come from that flat before.)

There is nowhere I can report this.

But I can talk about it here. That’s all.

Oh, and the lock-picking explains a lot of this too. I can’t take a van load of stuff with me every time I leave the flat, just to keep my stuff safe. Even a police officer has in the past spontaneously volunteered that shortly after I first discovered that my locks were getting picked, let alone that I discovered a few months ago that this had been going on for many more years than I initially was aware of.


10:18 The hacking entity is at it again. Can this guy finally drop dead. Goddammit. Stupid sadistic incel baby. Nearly 15 years of relentless abuse from this entity alone (and nearly 20 of bizarre bullshit from random English folks), and it’s all perfectly legal.

It’s. So. Terribly. Abusive.

It’s horrible. It’s really really really horrible. Makes you wish you were dead.

10:51 Keeps at it. (I’m on his network and he has the ability to control everything that I do, and he does shit like move browser pages back and forth and up and down and opening pages that he pulls out of his hat, that weren’t on my screen.)

And it’s all perfectly legal because I am not considered a human being in England so human rights do not apply to me.

I’ve asked the local council repeatedly to tell me what its legal definition of a human being is so that I can figure out what my rights and duties are, if any. I’ve even resorted to civil disobedience in the past. They didn’t get the concept. They had no idea what it was. They seemed to think that it meant that I had a learning disability.

Stuff continues

Three “incorrect password” warnings in a row in the past few days (two for sites, and one for my super user login). Yep, that’s happened often in the past 12 years.

Text messages and e-mails that I spot arriving on my phone and that then disappear, and today, for the first time, a message saying “processing incoming text message” that stuck around for a while.