The pivot point is always that people with NPD see themselves as deeply flawed, while all they actually are is human.
Nobody’s perfect. Or, we all are.
- People with NPD want to be super human and want everyone to tell them that they are.
- People with NPD see themselves as deeply flawed and want everyone to accept them the way they are.
See the Catch-22?
The crux is that you can’t get people with NPD to accept themselves the way they are and as soon as you show them to the world the way they are, they tend to feel deeply betrayed. They can’t accept that they’re actually perfectly fine (and that everything else follows from that).
How can they get to that point of self-acceptance? By changing the neurological pathways in their brain a little. Very gently, little by little.
So you’re flawed. So what? Being flawed is fine. It stops the world from becoming unbearably boring.
The second Catch-22 is that you somehow need to get it through to their subconscious. You can’t be (too) open about it.
I keep thinking about neurofeedback within this context.
Alternatively, maybe it is somehow possible to convey to them that they should see themselves as newborns. Nothing intrinsically good or bad about them, and in possession of plenty of potential, also for growth and for positive change.