
Images
Starbucks is getting its boat rocked
No. Really?
Yikes
Nobody says it’s always easy but then again, it really is – or is it?

No, I am not going to let a sad and twisted sadistic and manipulative character out there who began targeting me on 9 June 2008 – and who, unbelievably, still hasn’t let go – destroy my soul.
Telling such people what’s in spite of all that is beautiful about them can have devastating consequences.
It’s an impossible balancing act.
Even telling him that I will eviscerate him if I ever see him again hasn’t scared him off. How many more horrible things do I need to say before I can convince him to let me break out of his lockjaw grip?
I’d noticed that every time I have a phone appointment, my phone and tablet would go warm in advance of that phone call. So before my next appointment, I took my SIM card and put it into a non-Android phone. We got disconnected, a few seconds into that call.
I haven’t been able to replace my phones yet, since I left Hatesville, but it probably would not have made much of a difference, if I had.
“She’s a friend of mine, I’m playing a little joke on her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s been in a bad car accident, I’m worried about her. ” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s severely autistic, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she was sexually abused as a child, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she has a learning disability, I’m worried about her.” “She’s no friend of mine, she’s been saying weird things about me for a long time, she’s crazy.” “She’s been posting things on Twitter using this program which I can see she is using but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I don’t like what she’s posting so let’s call the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything not “on Twitter” but in that program and thus have a little fun with them too because they surely won’t catch on.” ”She’s been posting things on her private Facebook page which I can see and her friends can but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I am worried that she’s going to name me so let’s call someone else and tell them that I’m the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything on Facebook.”
People really fall for all of that. There’s no point in pointing it out. The ones who think that they are involved in an innocent joke don’t realize that maybe nine others have been asked to do similar things at the same time and that this stuff goes on all the time.
To me, it’s been stuff like this: “You avoid wheat and sugar and you’re a vegetarian and you express sympathy for CSA victims so you were sexually abused as a child and you have multiple personalities which is why you don’t remember.” “You’re not a scientist, you just decided that you were going to save the world when you were a little girl.” (“Sure, whatever you say.”) And so on and so forth. Lately, apparently he’s been mistaking my fear and despair, powerlessness, anger and frustration for indications that I am autistic… (He also tried to convince my brain of my multiple personalities for a long time, nearly driving me around the bend.) He’s also suggested that I am narcissistic and have ADHD. (Sure, whatever.) He’s also always suggested that just about everyone I used to know has it in for me and that nobody likes me and what not. It goes on and on and on.
Years ago, I got “You’re actually a really nice woman.” I thought “No shit, Sherlock.” (But the abuse continued.)
He’s also pretty clueless with regard to how some things work in society.
(When I wrote “clueless”, he appeared to interfere, grab the controls and select “whatever”.)
(For example that for higher-level jobs and also many projects, there’s usually a lengthy selection process. In his mind, you always get hired in one day. Neither does he realize that most scientific knowledge is obsolete after five years. That was already the case in the 1980s; it may be even less now.) (He recently seems to have gotten it into his head that I must pretend to be and do and want who I was and what I was doing and wanted thirty years ago.)
He, they, whatever. In the digital realm, anyone can pretend to be anyone.
This stupid bullshit began on 9 June 2008… He’s so immensely cunning, so manipulative. Quite genius, really. Leaving people like me totally trapped inside his bullshit. You can’t talk about what is going on without sounding deranged. So you stop talking. But you also decide that you refuse to let him push or manipulate you into suicide. (He’s tried the latter before. Just for fun.)
I know he can’t help it. I know.
Stalkers don’t exist

Let’s zoom in.

You might want to read this book…


New book
Available as a really cool hardcover too. See video below.
Can anyone let me know whether it’s actually available from Amazon? In the UK too? Am getting some strange errors about the ASIN codes not being valid. And he often plays these silly Jekyll and Hyde games where I put in a lot of effort and he then makes sure that it isn’t going anywhere.
Dude, the matte black cover for the paperback doesn’t work; it is very easy to get very ugly smudges on it. The grey cover works better for the paperback. I can unpublish it. But you are currently apparently blocking that… ?
The hardcover looks great. Also, customers, I’m happy with plain white paper versus premium. It’s probably more environmentally friendly.

Merry Christmas
Merry Christmas
Artificial wombs for humans getting closer
This
Here’s a thought
Are you a mess?
About hacking, for the record:

Unless you have a live video feed so that you can see what someone is doing in your equipment in real time, you cannot be sure of who it is who’s in your equipment. There is also always the possibility that someone else has HIRED hackers to hack into your equipment. That could for example be the case if you are dealing with someone who has an antisocial personality disorder.
Also, my HDD is NOT the problem, no. (I should have mentioned that before.)


Things have been pretty quiet and normal since about 2 pm yesterday.
Zero response

etc etc etc.
I’ve been desperately wanting my life back for so long. I’m not perfect and I am not male, but I deserve to get to live MY LIFE again, like I used to.
There were many more others I could have e-mailed, but then the mail would have been flagged as spam. There are also many others who I can no longer e-mail because quite a few women in science who I used to know passed away in their 50s.
I can’t just roll over and quietly crawl into a corner like I am “supposed” to do, dammit.
I’ve previously contacted my embassy (secretly and anonymously, from a computer at Advice Portsmouth before they got hacked in 2016, but all that embassy and consulate staff can do is potentially visit you in prison if you end up in prison; it’s not the same as when you are stranded somewhere as a tourist) as well as the United Nations (from my office computer, which just got me postal junk mail asking for donations). I had wanted to know if there was some way that I could get refugee status in my home country if I fled from Portsmouth.
8:59: What does this tell you?

Remember that I also have a hacked phone that is telling me that my NatWest banking app will stop working within 6, sorry now 5, days and a printer that is suddenly missing its drivers. All at the same time.
This is the kind of nonsense I’ve been dealing with ever since I moved into my current flat, but hey, “I am just an old cow who can’t handle technology”. May I remind you that my webpage about the bit of IT background I have disappeared from this site, too, all by itself?
9:12: the screens have gone back to normal again
I’d switched on the computer at around 8:30. I’d overslept, yes. Deserves the death penalty, I know, Portsmouth.

09:30: NatWest banking app issue resolved. (Meanwhile, made 11 bucks trading, too; am slowly making my way back toward overcoming the experience I had last year, the losses caused by the stupid “football matches” hackers last year, the idiots that left me a message about their experience with betting on football matches, yes, just in case I was not quite sure what exactly was going on. The fact that I had warned them that I was going to put in losing trades and let them run if they didn’t stop fucking with me and then went ahead and did it, didn’t entirely stop them from fucking with me but it did help A LOT. They or he had made the fatal mistake of getting me into the position in which I literally had nothing left to lose, after they had literally taken everything from me that I had achieved or that had mattered to me. I started trading because I wanted to get out of Portsmouth asap – escape! get my life back! – and because I can no longer travel when it’s too cold.)
09:48: now tackling the printer driver issues again. I thought nothing useful had downloaded other than perhaps a tar ball archive, which I just found in my downloads, but which previous versions of the operating system and I never managed to handle, but my current version does seem to know how to deal with it.


10:00: Let’s see if that did the trick…
10:01: yes
But nobody in Portsmouth is fucking with me, right? People in Portsmouth are all sweet little angels who knit and tend to their gardens all day, and do little else but smile oh so sweetly, except when they don’t and give you the full blast of their blind hatred.



















