Well done, me!

I’ve just updated (slightly) the Kindle edition and paperback version of a book that I first published in 2017, and I did that without having the original files! I may quickly whip up a hardcover edition of it this evening. (Yes, done.)

The previous two editions were still quite clumsily written here and there and I hope that I didn’t step on too many toes. Partly, they still are an exercise in logical reasoning – doodles – to arrive at various definitions, for example of what “a life not worth living” might be, and to come up with a guideline that I know is never going to be used in practice. That was true of the 2020 version of this edition and is still true of the present version too. Then a Chinese scientist called He Jiankui made the spotlights because he’d broken all the rules by creating real-life CRISPR’d babies. It changed things.

On 11 February 2023, Dr He attended his first public event since his release, namely ”Looking Back into the Future: CRISPR and Social Values” organized by Dr Joy Zhang at the University of Kent. What struck me during that meeting was not so much He’s perceived arrogance or deception, but the attitude of many scientists, particularly those in very early stages of their careers. I later also saw that reflected at two meetings that I attended in the Netherlands. The idea of pondering the potential consequences of their research does not seem to occur to many scientists. In addition, they often see ethics committees as no more than groups of pesky people who want them to tick boxes.

This worries me, but I understand it. I too used to be very enthusiastic about all science, particularly if it concerned my own favorite areas. I am sure that I never paid any thoughts to possible consequences of mining operations when I was much younger, not just in terms of pollution but also with regard to impact on communities and wildlife. This is probably a point at which I should interject that I went to university relatively late; the issue is not age-related but experience-related.

I could have called this book “The honey mustard chicken society” after the title of a video made by a chronically ill woman who is preparing honey mustard chicken. The woman in question is genetically different from mainstream people. The main differences are a gene mutation and a mitochondrial condition. This was diagnosed when she was about 15 years old. It has many practical consequences including the fact she can’t just eat anything she wants. That led to her video about her honey mustard chicken meal.

That title would have captured the duality of the questions surrounding the new eugenics. You could say that the central question in this book is whether non-mainstream people, like the woman in that video, should get to eat their honey mustard chicken or not. Should we weed them out from the human species as unwanted or undesirable or to spare them pain and discomfort? This may sound trivial but it’s not. When Glenn Cohen talks about intentional diminishment with regard to genetically deaf parents who want genetically deaf children, isn’t that ableism? This is the big issue.

Why is it objectionable to create genetically deaf children to allow them to experience the richness of deaf culture and make them feel included in their family and community but should it be okay to do the reverse? There is also the chicken. The chicken has rights too. Shouldn’t the chicken too get to live her life freely? How can a society claim to be advanced if it still depends on the ruthless exploitation of other species for its food supply? Shouldn’t we simply be able to produce clean, tasty, cruelty-free food instead? How can we reconcile some of the conflicting interests that come to the fore in these discussions?

This is why we need to talk about what kind of society we want our grandchildren to live in and we need to do this before we set ourselves on a course that may be hard to change later. Do we want a world that forces people to be a certain way, such as in the film “The Stepford Wives”? Do we want a society that divides people into separate superior and inferior classes such as in the film “Gattaca” and in the novel “The Ultimate Brainchild”? Or do we prefer one that embraces all diversity, in principle, and sees the good in the “bad”.

After He Jiankui was released from prison in China and the first CRISPR treatments such as Casgevy and Lyfgenia started receiving approval in countries like the UK and the US, it was time to tweak the book slightly and weed out any remaining typos. I also needed to define its audience more clearly. This is not quite a book for lay people, but I feel that it is suitable for interested researchers in any field.

That I don’t have a background in CRISPR research will become clear soon enough for anyone who is familiar with it. The purpose of this book wasn’t to start talking about off-target effects or discuss that making someone immune to HIV, the way He Jiankui did with Nana and Lulu and possibly a third baby, may make them vulnerable to other conditions.

Sorry, the t-shirt sold out pretty quickly.

How I depicted my otherization in England (acrylic on paper, on scanner)

Optimistic immigrant arrives in Britain from Amsterdam, expecting to be as welcome there as she was in the US.
But they start running her over soon…
They keep at it.
And at it.
I decided to end the series on a neutral note. Peace and quiet.

If you want to know more about how otherization works, read the last version of “Is cruelty cool”.

You can also see the above images as reflecting on the survival of the human species on the planet, come to think of it.

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Nobody says it’s always easy but then again, it really is – or is it?


No, I am not going to let a sad and twisted sadistic and manipulative character out there who began targeting me on 9 June 2008 – and who, unbelievably, still hasn’t let go – destroy my soul.

Telling such people what’s in spite of all that is beautiful about them can have devastating consequences.

It’s an impossible balancing act.

Even telling him that I will eviscerate him if I ever see him again hasn’t scared him off. How many more horrible things do I need to say before I can convince him to let me break out of his lockjaw grip?

I’d noticed that every time I have a phone appointment, my phone and tablet would go warm in advance of that phone call. So before my next appointment, I took my SIM card and put it into a non-Android phone. We got disconnected, a few seconds into that call.

I haven’t been able to replace my phones yet, since I left Hatesville, but it probably would not have made much of a difference, if I had.

“She’s a friend of mine, I’m playing a little joke on her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s been in a bad car accident, I’m worried about her. ” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s severely autistic, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she was sexually abused as a child, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she has a learning disability, I’m worried about her.” “She’s no friend of mine, she’s been saying weird things about me for a long time, she’s crazy.” “She’s been posting things on Twitter using this program which I can see she is using but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I don’t like what she’s posting so let’s call the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything not “on Twitter” but in that program and thus have a little fun with them too because they surely won’t catch on.” ”She’s been posting things on her private Facebook page which I can see and her friends can but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I am worried that she’s going to name me so let’s call someone else and tell them that I’m the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything on Facebook.”

People really fall for all of that. There’s no point in pointing it out. The ones who think that they are involved in an innocent joke don’t realize that maybe nine others have been asked to do similar things at the same time and that this stuff goes on all the time.

To me, it’s been stuff like this: “You avoid wheat and sugar and you’re a vegetarian and you express sympathy for CSA victims so you were sexually abused as a child and you have multiple personalities which is why you don’t remember.” “You’re not a scientist, you just decided that you were going to save the world when you were a little girl.” (“Sure, whatever you say.”) And so on and so forth. Lately, apparently he’s been mistaking my fear and despair, powerlessness, anger and frustration for indications that I am autistic… (He also tried to convince my brain of my multiple personalities for a long time, nearly driving me around the bend.) He’s also suggested that I am narcissistic and have ADHD. (Sure, whatever.) He’s also always suggested that just about everyone I used to know has it in for me and that nobody likes me and what not. It goes on and on and on.

Years ago, I got “You’re actually a really nice woman.” I thought “No shit, Sherlock.” (But the abuse continued.)

He’s also pretty clueless with regard to how some things work in society.

(When I wrote “clueless”, he appeared to interfere, grab the controls and select “whatever”.)

(For example that for higher-level jobs and also many projects, there’s usually a lengthy selection process. In his mind, you always get hired in one day. Neither does he realize that most scientific knowledge is obsolete after five years. That was already the case in the 1980s; it may be even less now.) (He recently seems to have gotten it into his head that I must pretend to be and do and want who I was and what I was doing and wanted thirty years ago.)

He, they, whatever. In the digital realm, anyone can pretend to be anyone.

This stupid bullshit began on 9 June 2008… He’s so immensely cunning, so manipulative. Quite genius, really. Leaving people like me totally trapped inside his bullshit. You can’t talk about what is going on without sounding deranged. So you stop talking. But you also decide that you refuse to let him push or manipulate you into suicide. (He’s tried the latter before. Just for fun.)

I know he can’t help it. I know.

Accessibility of trains #inclusivity

I’ll be dammed. Some years ago (Feb 2018), I was pondering the accessibility of trains for people with wheelchairs, buggies (prams, pushchairs) or mobility scooters…

I contacted a train manufacturer that had just gotten a large UK order and asked them how they were addressing this. They never got back to me.

I thought that a ramp that automatically slides out and retracts should be possible.

A stranger in the Netherlands who spotted my post then helpfully e-mailed me this drawing:

I just took a trip with a Dutch Sprinter train… And what did I see? A ramp that slides out and retracts.

This idea has actually been implemented and has been on these trains since 2021: https://www.bnnvara.nl/kassa/artikelen/alle-sprinters-ns-toegankelijker-voor-rolstoel

It may depend on the station how well it works. Newer stations have higher platforms; the slide-out ramp is flush with it.

Interesting application of AI (batteries)

This reminds me of using gaming to find solutions in science at a much greater speed than usual.

However, the biggest problem with batteries is recyclability and the cost of recycling.

Also, while yttrium is not a proper rare earth, where the yttrium comes from also has to be considered. China, mostly.

So while this uses 70% less lithium, and the needed sodium and chlorine are ubiquitous, it also requires yttrium.

We’re talking NaxLi3−xYCl6(0<x<3) series here, so it requires up to 3 times more lithium than yttrium and far more chlorine. So that’s okay.

Interesting development. Recyclability isn’t mentioned. Too early for that.

https://arxiv.org/pdf/2401.04070.pdf

Not going around deliberately hurting people is a good start (I’m in an Anastacia-kinda mood)

Bloganuary writing prompt
What makes a good leader?
Don’t try to turn people around you into slaves
Have some empathy

Avoid making people around you sick and tired of feeling sick and tired

“Yo flippin’. There’s nothing wrong with the way I sing my song.” Make sure that you never force anyone to shout that at you.

“Is cruelty cool?”: Absolutely heartbreaking and gripping

Introducing my youngest… 😁 https://www.amazon.com/gp/aw/d/B0CQSR6XNT/

I am very pleasantly surprised with the quality of Amazon’s hardcovers. 👍 I am not having this book printed on premium white paper (and it’s in black and white only). No need for premium white paper for this book. My flash fiction, that is printed on premium white, of course.

PDF available from my website: https://angelinasouren.com/wp-content/uploads/2024/01/souren_is_cruelty_cool_2jan2024_hardcover-proof.pdf

IS CRUELTY COOL? This is the third edition.

References to second edition (no longer available): https://angelinasouren.com/wp-content/uploads/2023/12/souren_references_second_edition_is_cruelty_cool.pdf

If I’m not mistaken, I sent Hampshire Police a PDF of that particular edition. I also talked about extremism in that version.

From “There aren’t any” to “large numbers”

https://www.theguardian.com/environment/2024/jan/16/ocean-fungi-from-twilight-zone-could-be-source-of-next-penicillin-like-drug

Once upon a time, the oceans were believed to be devoid of fungi. Only a handful of people, such as the Kohlmeyers in the US and a few researchers at what was then probably still called Portsmouth Polytechnic in England, new better.

“That just breaks your heart” wrote one of the latter, emailing with me, about this persistent myth.

In 1998, I organized a conference session on the topic. In Boston.

The times, they are a-changing.

Stalkers don’t exist


Let’s zoom in.


You might want to read this book…

1–2 minutes

New book

Available as a really cool hardcover too. See video below.

Can anyone let me know whether it’s actually available from Amazon? In the UK too? Am getting some strange errors about the ASIN codes not being valid. And he often plays these silly Jekyll and Hyde games where I put in a lot of effort and he then makes sure that it isn’t going anywhere.

Dude, the matte black cover for the paperback doesn’t work; it is very easy to get very ugly smudges on it. The grey cover works better for the paperback. I can unpublish it. But you are currently apparently blocking that… ?

The hardcover looks great. Also, customers, I’m happy with plain white paper versus premium. It’s probably more environmentally friendly.


Such potato head politicians include Rishi Sunak, Geert Wilders, Robert Gerald van Cortlandt Vernon-Jackson, Priti Patel, Donald Trump, Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson and Suella Braverman
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Storm in Britain named after Dutch weather presenter

Ha ha, I love it!

It was the Met Office’s decision. Storms are named by the Irish, British and Dutch meteorological services. For those of you who don’t know that it may be fun to learn that meteorology is one of the earth sciences. A fellow student called Diana, a pleasant woman who I did field work and field trips with, went on to become a weather woman after graduation. (Me, I wanted my own research group.)

https://www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2023/dec/26/uk-drivers-warned-about-very-windy-and-wet-weather-due-to-storm-gerrit

https://nos.nl/l/2502858

https://nos.nl/artikel/2488748-eigen-storm-voor-vertrekkend-weerman-gerrit-hiemstra

This is what I call daft

It’s probably a really strange experience for English people to hear about, but when I walk around in the country that I am currently in, I see so much English that I was considering making a video about it.

This, however, takes the cake.

“Be surprised by every season” it says.

I continue reading and instantly experience a profound level of cognitive disconnect because it then talks about rust, privacy and comfort.

Eh, what?!!

They might as well have put “Jeu de boules, pizza, nasi, sushi” at the top of the 📃. It would have prepared me for the DNA in the sand, too. (The Dutch sucks too, btw. Say I but right outspokenlijk-like. It’s a partly lovely attempt at poetic language that possibly got messed up by the site editor.)

Photo by Miguel u00c1. Padriu00f1u00e1n on Pexels.com

The kicker? You can stay at one of “de beachlodges”.

Like I said, I see a lot of English all around me. (Most buttons and so on, too, have English words on them.) Most of it is perfectly fine. The only negative thing that stood out before I ran into this was the misuse (disadvantageous ambiguity) of “little” in a business name. It may have been “little sunshine”.

Why do the Dutch do this?

  • Dutch has a much smaller vocabulary (but most Dutch folks make little use of the greater English vocabulary).
  • English is far more succinct. English takes up a lot less space, so you can get to the point and get it across much more easily.
  • It’s a tiny country.

Did you too expect that this “Sand” might be near Amsterdam or Rotterdam, perhaps and hoping to attract tourists? I was surprised to learn that it’s in the north east, closer to Germany than to the UK.

Oh. It’s not even cottages and such that are available for a stay. It’s an investment opportunity. Real estate. Property. So it’s case of Trumpianism.

(YouTube popped it up for me a few times. An ad. I got curious and clicked.)

Watch this (antisocial personality disorder)

As someone who recently became the target of three people (and relentless abuse from their entourage) who are more or less like this and (because I was stuck in that little enclave where it came from and which also enabled it all in the first place) hence had to start studying and contemplating what it may be like to be like this, and realized that diversity is much greater and more multifaceted than we tend to be aware of, I recognize many things in this interview. It surprised me, I should add, and it’s also reassuring because it makes me realize that my assessments tend to be right. (It’s part of why you get targeted. You understand.)

It also makes me feel very weary (exhausted) as well as wary. These people have a tendency to gobble you up, consume you. Everything is a game to them, on some level. It’s like they are in a James Bond film. They’re relentless. Or, can be.

A year or so ago, I spotted this on Quora and made a screenshot

Yes, the amount of chaos that they can add to other people’s lives is huge. When you interact with people like him, you also have to really watch yourself to make sure you are not becoming callous and manipulative yourself but remain true to yourself. It’s probably a sliding scale, a slippery slope. They can affect you before you know it.

Me, I’m done with it. I’m out of energy, out of life, now. I mean, kerrist, I would like to be able to support myself again, for starters, but when I do, it becomes so much more difficult to manipulate me, for example because then I can do things like purchase new computers and possibly finally be hacking-free again. The amount of manipulation I’ve been subjected to since 9 June 2008 has been staggering and sometimes pretty extreme (sometimes intended to manipulate other people with regard to me in order to be able to manipulate me but also sometimes intended to see if I could for example be manipulated into suicide). The cost has been tremendous. It can get really complicated.


For anyone who wonders, I’m a little under the weather. Probably fighting off a virus. Something like that. Am taking it easy for a few days. Kicked in yesterday or day before.

After the above, which had been on my watch later list for a long time, I ran into this one…


Her problems – except the autism as a challenge in society – stem from far too many people having looked away far too often, allowing her to be abused over and over and over again

I’m starting to get the sense that addressing the focusing illusion could be the solution to so much. I only heard about it, read about it, a week ago. I need to start reading up on it and explore it in myself as well to get a better feel for what it is. Is it tied to the altruism – psychopathy variation, for example? No idea. I don’t think that I do it much myself, but I probably won’t even know until I read up. I need to read up. It may not bring me any answers at all. It may be a disappointment. We’ll see.

Francis Fukuyama interview in Dutch Financial Times

The synopsis has him saying that maybe the world needs a major disaster to be able to appreciate the concept of democracy again.

I thought that the pandemic would bring people and countries closer. Even Portsmouth became tolerable during the pandemic and UK government politicians even stopped ranting and raving about migrants like me for a while.

Then that fucking lunatic Putin attacked Ukraine before the pandemic was over and all hope was lost. Next, the fucking CEOs of a few major enterprises saw an opportunity to make more dough for themselves because they’re so empty inside that this is all they had and started overcharging people big time to make everyone else suffer a bit more and now just about everybody in the goddamn world hates just about everybody else again.

Another major factor? No women. Marin is gone, Ardern is gone, Merkel is gone. I really miss the influence of Merkel.

The human species is doomed.

Now I’ll go read the interview to see if it contains any hope at all.

(Bottom line, more or less: if we get another Trump presidency we’re all screwed and yes, Putin was the one who started fucking things up again. If Trump disappears from the scene, we might have a chance. That reminds me. Yikes. Back then, I thought that there was a real chance that Trump might end up getting assassinated. I think it’s fair to say that this probability is likely far greater now. That wouldn’t be good. It’s a pity that SCOTUS won’t expedite the immunity decision. People have lost their compass. They need good leadership and we don’t seem to have it anywhere at the moment. That’s dangerous. I can see in myself how easily bad shit can start corroding a person’s soul and one’s trust in others. That I was hunted and obstructed so relentlessly for 15 years, as if I was a rat with a Hollywood exterminator on my tail, and got subjected to so much sadism, so much contempt, it’s changed me. I see all the knife crime that didn’t used to be there and have to ask myself where it all comes from. The whole greenwashing bullshit concerns me too. The new sales slogan is “buy more cool, hip, green stuff”, isn’t it. Even fake meat is becoming a toxic cocktail.)