Below, you find code, slang and jargon used by English folks (particularly people in Portsmouth). There’s interference with this webpage, by the way.

Bag =vagina

Bed slats = labia

Beh seh eeh (spoken) = bed settee = divan

Bell = penis (bell end = dickhead)

Bird = woman

Bottle(s), (real ones, glass, empty or filled with water, for example left at someone’s home) = FU sign or rape invitation? Not entirely clear. “Loves dick” or something similar was written on my wall in Southsea with an arrow to my name after I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. It could be something like that. That’s incitement to rape, in my view. I didn’t know anyone in Portsmouth so I have no idea what it was about. Portsmouth was very unwelcoming, but it wasn’t personal; it is known for its extreme insularity throughout the UK.

Breadboard =

(It said breadbox!)

Consultant = specialist in ziekenhuis, in Dutch; medical specialist at hospital

Cage = vagina

Car = female body, or person to drive crazy (or more generally manipulate), so “I have a new car” can mean “I found a new victim”

Cat = woman who refuses to feel obliged to provide sexual services to men or, more generally, feminist?

Dog = Stephen Howard

Don’t worry about it = rot op (afhankelijk van de toon en situatie), in Dutch; get lost, in American English, depending on tone and situation

Door, or similar = vagina

Fag = cigarette

God = Stephen Howard

Hold someone = keep someone in jail

Instrument = female body

Jane = vagina

Jesus = Stephen Howard

Joker = Stephen Howard

Laptop = intercourse

Lord = Stephen Howard

Lunchbox = male genitals

Mail = male

Mirror = Copy of a website. Content can be tampered with. Htttrack is a program you can use to that end. This way. If you have someone on your own network, you can for example make the person believe that there’s no local office and force them to travel to another town if you want to pick their locks and have plenty of time to have a look around in their home.

Pompey = Portsmouth

Pushchair = kinderwagen (wandelwagen, buggy), in Dutch; stroller

Pushbike = fiets, in Dutch; bicycle

Rat = anyone who says anything negative about Stephen Howard or his hacker brother Lee aka Charley?

Royal Mail = Stephen Howard

Stephen Howard = guy I had three appointments with at a workshop in a barn in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Hampshire in 2008, because of his chosen profession. He’s very good. (So was my violin teacher.) He became instantly obsessed with me for some reason (possibly my voice as some people respond very strongly to it), which made it hard not to be aware of his existence. I barely know a thing about him and nobody in Portsmouth could tell me anything about him either, other than the police. He told me that he has synesthesia, which I had never heard of. Apparently, he sees written black text in colour and hears notes (pitch, music) when he sees text. That’s gotta be challenging to deal with, at least at times.

Traceroute = Windows command “tracert”, shows you the steps your internet traffic takes, how long they take and which IP addresses these hops use, to reach a website or your email server