It’s been quiet on my screens and equipment the rest of the day. One e-mail came in twice this morning – no, not on gmail – and that was likely “him” trying to alert me to something, after the fact, by way of explanation for something that had happened in the world, something that I had missed because I was too busy figuring out what the fuck was being done on yet another fucking phone.

(Yes, he does that sometimes, get the same mail to me 2 to 10 times.)

I’m a wreck and all I did today was watch videos, basically, and cry a tiny little bit.

(Wasn’t much else I could do anyway, though.)

This anonymous abuse, this immense control of so many aspects of my life, it’s killing me. It’s been going on for nearly 15 years. That’s fucking unbelievable. Started slow, increasingly geared up.

18:35: I wish I were dead. I wish this fucking sadistic hell were over, this vile sadistic control of my life, and the vile hostility of Portsmouth. The stupid relentless hate. All of it.

18:56: I did get yet another email about the covid volunteering today and I got two from the Cooperative Bank, and just now one about writing my will but nothing at all today that had much relevance. I also just got this again after I decided to reboot my computer:

I had rebooted because the computer was suddenly sluggish and after the (warm) reboot I got this for Twitter, which I also had gotten two or three days ago, also after a reboot. Four minutes later, at 19:00, I heard the hdd rattle, I couldn’t type here any longer, and I had to flip the power switch again, but I could not see any actual evidence of someone doing stuff. After the second reboot, Twitter gave no errors; I ascribe the will-writing ad that I got in my Twitter stream then to sheer coincidence.

1 April 2023: I think that these Twitter errors are actually caused by a browser shortlink error. Good.

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