No, I am not going to let a sad and twisted sadistic and manipulative character out there who began targeting me on 9 June 2008 – and who, unbelievably, still hasn’t let go – destroy my soul.
Telling such people what’s in spite of all that is beautiful about them can have devastating consequences.
It’s an impossible balancing act.
Even telling him that I will eviscerate him if I ever see him again hasn’t scared him off. How many more horrible things do I need to say before I can convince him to let me break out of his lockjaw grip?
I’d noticed that every time I have a phone appointment, my phone and tablet would go warm in advance of that phone call. So before my next appointment, I took my SIM card and put it into a non-Android phone. We got disconnected, a few seconds into that call.
I haven’t been able to replace my phones yet, since I left Hatesville, but it probably would not have made much of a difference, if I had.
“She’s a friend of mine, I’m playing a little joke on her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s been in a bad car accident, I’m worried about her. ” “She’s a friend of mine, she’s severely autistic, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she was sexually abused as a child, I’m worried about her.” “She’s a friend of mine, she has a learning disability, I’m worried about her.” “She’s no friend of mine, she’s been saying weird things about me for a long time, she’s crazy.” “She’s been posting things on Twitter using this program which I can see she is using but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I don’t like what she’s posting so let’s call the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything not “on Twitter” but in that program and thus have a little fun with them too because they surely won’t catch on.” ”She’s been posting things on her private Facebook page which I can see and her friends can but you can’t because I have hacked into her computers and you haven’t and I am worried that she’s going to name me so let’s call someone else and tell them that I’m the police and tell them to tell her to stop posting anything on Facebook.”
People really fall for all of that. There’s no point in pointing it out. The ones who think that they are involved in an innocent joke don’t realize that maybe nine others have been asked to do similar things at the same time and that this stuff goes on all the time.
To me, it’s been stuff like this: “You avoid wheat and sugar and you’re a vegetarian and you express sympathy for CSA victims so you were sexually abused as a child and you have multiple personalities which is why you don’t remember.” “You’re not a scientist, you just decided that you were going to save the world when you were a little girl.” (“Sure, whatever you say.”) And so on and so forth. Lately, apparently he’s been mistaking my fear and despair, powerlessness, anger and frustration for indications that I am autistic… (He also tried to convince my brain of my multiple personalities for a long time, nearly driving me around the bend.) He’s also suggested that I am narcissistic and have ADHD. (Sure, whatever.) He’s also always suggested that just about everyone I used to know has it in for me and that nobody likes me and what not. It goes on and on and on.
Years ago, I got “You’re actually a really nice woman.” I thought “No shit, Sherlock.” (But the abuse continued.)
He’s also pretty clueless with regard to how some things work in society.
(When I wrote “clueless”, he appeared to interfere, grab the controls and select “whatever”.)
(For example that for higher-level jobs and also many projects, there’s usually a lengthy selection process. In his mind, you always get hired in one day. Neither does he realize that most scientific knowledge is obsolete after five years. That was already the case in the 1980s; it may be even less now.) (He recently seems to have gotten it into his head that I must pretend to be and do and want who I was and what I was doing and wanted thirty years ago.)
He, they, whatever. In the digital realm, anyone can pretend to be anyone.
This stupid bullshit began on 9 June 2008… He’s so immensely cunning, so manipulative. Quite genius, really. Leaving people like me totally trapped inside his bullshit. You can’t talk about what is going on without sounding deranged. So you stop talking. But you also decide that you refuse to let him push or manipulate you into suicide. (He’s tried the latter before. Just for fun.)
I know he can’t help it. I know.
