Hi. My main background is in the earth & life sciences, but I now predominantly explore topics in the broad area of bioethics. That's about equality, fairness, justice, diversity and inclusivity. It's also about people's biases, the associated otherization and everything that this can result in. That includes poverty, homelessness, poor health, shabby looks, shrinking personal bubbles, exposure to chemical and noise pollution and lots more. It's also about law, philosophy, speciesism, science & technology, forensic psychology, politics and public policy (governance). Diversity and inclusivity are much bigger challenges than I used to believe. I for example now think that society's lack of genuine acceptance and support for people whose brains work very differently can among other things result in destructive behaviours for which the forensic psychology term is sadistic stalking or resentful stalking.
It’s popped up before. (It popped up and then disappeared in a flash just now.)
You know what? The sun’s out and birds are singing. Plus, I am enjoying my morning coffee.
Cowardly grouchy Portsmouth can’t touch me either. I merely observe it and wonder how it all came about. It’s so weird.
That said, “monk parakeet, mum, poverty” comes from a toddler who is throwing his toys out of the pram, a recalcitrant teenager screaming insults or from someone who doesn’t have many emotions and is baffled by the emotions of others, therefore seeks to evoke them in order to study them.
Meanwhile, my brain’s ringing hasn’t stopped yet and has gotten louder again. So if you keep it up, chances are you will soon need a new guinea pig.
None of us get to create ourselves. We all just do the best with what we’ve got.
For the record, this hacker person (?) may see himself as a sea creature, a dolphin or a whale. Just in case this means anything to anyone out there.
16:26: I just found that all text had disappeared here!
I originally posted this at 13:33.
I had written that it’s been in the news in the UK before, and that I included the info in one of my stalking-related booklets, namely the one about how to protect yourself against stranger-stalking. Toronto Police Service 22 Division had already addressed Apple Air Tags before:
I lost internet access at 10am, rebooted my old phone (I tether) and noticed that shit started slowing down ridiculously again when I was about to edit a text about what constitutes a life not worth living. Decided to stop doing that.
At 11am, the fan started gearing up again. I wasn’t doing anything at all on the computer. I decided to shut down the computer and found that it stayed on after it went black. This can be caused by a hacker-initiated process that is still running. Flipped the wall switch again.
This sort of nonsense also used to happen on my older computer that I have had at this residence. Different architecture.
12:24: The computer fan suddenly gearing up also sometimes happens when I am at the public library, sometimes on the computer that I am on (sometimes after I’ve logged off) and sometimes on an idle (not being used at all) computer next to me. At the library, I have also had brief screen blackouts that indicate that a second monitor is being activated that has the same account on the screen and I’ve had at times indications that I wasn’t actually on the library’s computer network.
The same stuff also happened on my older computer. The gearing up of the fan has sometimes been used to indicate anger. The “wind” gearing up. (There’s also been something about doors closing and opening a lot, which was ascribed to the wind doing that, too.) One time, I had a complete circus going on with both my computers doing really weird shit, one beeping and rebooting like crazy and the other one’s screen went haywire, too, and then the printer suddenly started spewing blank pages. It stopped abruptly, after I shot off an e-mail about what was going on and how childish it was, from my phone, to a friend in the States. Around Easter last year, both my computers were disabled for weeks after I wrote online about the stuff that was going on. Then they suddenly were working again and then stopped again for a week or so. Around Christmas, two of my phones stopped going online and one English SIM card and my Dutch card were suddenly asking for PUK codes. A little later, at the public library, someone kept opening the web page that I had written about what goes on in Portsmouth, so apparently, it was all punishment for that. I am supposed to keep my mouth shut.
13:58: Am utterly exhausted again. Whoever it is who keeps terrorizing and sabotaging me, I’m fed up.
14:24: Here we go again. I sent two e-mails, from two different addresses, both got blocked/rejected by an agency I have never been in contact with before and I can’t use their web-based contact form either. (See images below)
(Purpose: marketing/promotion/reaching out with small bit of free assistance)
2. Computer froze again when arrow cursor changed into hand in this post, am posting these two paragraphs not from computer.
(Above: Response to second e-mail)(Above: Response to first e-mail)
(This is what my life has been like A LOT since I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. Police know all about it, and so does the city council. Too often being unable to reach anyone and lots of other crap.)
14:50: Tried a second e-mail address that is listed on the agency’s website and I get the same result.
So I wrote to “postmaster”. Same result!
14.57: So then I wrote to postmaster@mailchannels.net and told them that their email was down. This had an effect on what was happening on my screen and I can also suddenly type normally again. Haven’t heard back yet.
15:00: no, no response from mailchannels.net yet but it does feel like whoever the hell was in my computer cleared the heck out when I sent THAT e-mail. Everything seems to be working normally again all of a sudden (much faster).
15:02: Response from Ameer at mailchannels.net, as follows: “I am a little confused with your query. Please let me know whether you are facing any mail delivery issue, and if that is the case please update us with the bounce message or sender/recipient/subject detail so that I will be able to help you further.”
Meanwhile, yep, computer considerably faster, no delays in typing either. (Someone got out of my equipment to be able to pretend to be “Ameer”?)
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The response from the remote server was:
550 5.4.1 Recipient address rejected: Access denied. AS(201806281) [AM7EUR03FT062.eop-EUR03.prod.protection.outlook.com 2023-03-23T13:58:07.997Z 08DB2A521F9D928E]
18:40: I merely got more nonsense after that. This, by the way, was not the only thing that happened. Something else was deleted too (besides the text in the next post). This morning. In an account for which the 2FA mysteriously enough won’t work.
Following morning at 7:00: Still no reply, but there is a “last chance” email and a “final hours” email and one about the relocation of horses in a nearby county (which I deleted). Last evening, there still was an email from the mayor of London (about Ramadan) and one from Futurism.
What happened with yesterday’s online meeting has happened several times before. There was for example a meeting in the UK that got postponed, about policing and the prevention of violence in communities, organised by a consultancy firm. I noticed that a webpage about it contained different date information when I looked at it on different equipment that I had just bought (not locally and out of sight of island locals) and was using at a Starbucks. Then, too, when the meeting took place, there was no link to access the meeting.
21:11: Still no reply (and the page just moved down again, and the cursor went to the highlighted word “sabotage”, which could be and likely was a mere innocent hiccup). The emails from lady freethinker etc arrive in periods; sometimes there are none at all for a long time and then they suddenly start coming in again. They’re often about dogs.
20:39: Crap going on on my HDD and here (on this page). Time to reboot again. (yeah, had to flip the power switch on the wall again)
20:13: Believe it or not, in spite of all this interference, I am still managing to start earning a little bit of money again, after I had protested so loudly and vehemently against all the horrific abuse last year that really scared me to death because it was so immensely sadistic and very deliberate sabotage. I was terrified, utterly terrified. Staff at Asda have seen me look utterly petrified with fear at some point, after that particular sabotage began. What is going on in my life, what is being done to me, is so utterly utterly vile. (And just now, at 20:23, this page moved down again all by itself.)
19:46: Here we go again and no, there is nothing on the page that indicates that any changes are being carried out or whatever and yes, this is gmail, and this bit has no aura reading stuff in it, but as you can see, nothing particularly useful either and zero replies; these were e-mails I received today between 2.14 and 5.30pm). There was one earlier mail, received at 2:04 pm from Campaign Legal Center about a webinar tomorrow. I haven’t checked if I can actually sign up for this one; the topic is not of interest to me.
See immediately below for the explanation of the next two images. Michael Ashley Stein is a disability advocate. A video of the event will likely be posted on YouTube later but that’s not the same as attending in real time, when you can ask questions and exchange links or other information.
17:09: Another online meeting, of which I have attended many before, for which there is no option on the page to sign up this time. A mere coincidence? An error on the side of the organizer in other words? New staff? Have contacted the organizer via two separate channels. No reply yet. I’ve corresponded with them via both channels before. (19:00: Still haven’t heard back from them, on either channel, which is out of character and the event is in an hour, so yep, my outgoing comms are getting fucked with again or the page has gotten messed with and I was once again looking at an adapted mirror of it – I know exactly how that might work as I’ve used httrack – and sounded like an idiot.) (I also keep getting e-mails to do with a Covid volunteering app that I can’t even install any longer, apart from the fact that 12 to 18 months have passed in the meantime. See one of the above images.)
16:46: Yep, had also ended up with another empty remote file again.
16:30ish: Definitely in my computer again, I noticed (and yes, sometimes I can tell for certain, just like I used to be able to tell when “they” were in the phone that I bought in 2009 when the thing would suddenly light up all by itself, which they couldn’t see and I kept quiet about), after I rebooted by flipping the power button because shit had started freezing again.
10:51: Yep, definitely bizarre local nonsense going on again in town (and now also on my computer again, methinks).
Yep, ordering my files by date suddenly has gone haywire (while my arrow keys are working normally again) and I am now getting ads for bariatric surgery in Turkey (on Finviz); this is starting to sound similar to what I got throughout 2010. (In case you don’t know this, several people have just died within this very specific surgery context.)
And when I searched for it to make sure it is indeed the same kind of surgery, I got this again, on my computer, in a browser window that is wider than my screen, and no, I don’t normally get this:
Look what posting the above resulted in next:
6:35: Yep.
Possibly including the old childish “let’s wake her up in the middle of the night” games being played in the flat immediately under mine? 🤣 Where the current tenant has done things like discard tissues in wall decorations around Christmas and open the door when I walk by and… never mind, it’s too childish for words. (Anyway, I am knackered today.) (This nonsense also seems to coincide with front doors being left open again, by the way. Coincidence? I’ve installed an alarm as the ground-floor neighbors weren’t happy with finding the door standing open either, but someone keeps switching it off. If the alarm is on, at least we are alerted to it when the damn door is left standing open again and we can go close it.)
As most of my incoming and outgoing emails are being captured and stopped and/or altered and/or redirected, and my STAT mails among many other things aren’t arriving any longer in my gmail, I signed up to STAT news with a different email address. The confirmation email arrived along with a second confirmation email for a legit book publishing service that I signed up for some time ago (Kobo). It was marked as already having been read but was dated the same day. If it’s some kind of cryptic “message” again, well, I am not getting it. I don’t speak the local vernacular.
What I still get on my Gmail address is 99.9 per cent junk on most days now. The remainder is mostly Amazon emails, XR emails, Veem mails and the like.
I also just received an invitation for a legit public health webinar that I don’t even have access to. Ha ha.
Some webpages have been asking me for my location again and the home page on this site have been forcing me to click “leave” again.
On this website, when I am writing a post or amending a page, the arrow keys often have been reprogrammed. The back arrow initially was taking me to the end of the word. Then this stopped for a while – it was working normally – after which instead of moving the cursor one space to the left it took me to the end of the paragraph.
The angle grinder ads (signaling that I am about to get my head cut off?) seem to have been replaced by car rental ads (and the tool bars and toolbox in one of my programs – one that has gotten messed with a lot for about a year – now constantly gets removed).
Prince’s most beautiful girl is popping up, too.
Right now, there is no interference. I can type normally – bliss – and my arrow keys are working normally too. Everything else is fine too at the moment.
PS In case anyone wonders why I’m not showing what I was looking at on Finviz (the screenshot with the ad box), that’s just because I don’t want to give anyone the wrong ideas. I happened to be looking at one particular insider trading event, out of sheer curiosity, because the size was HUGE and so was the amount of money involved. It concerns a stock I have zero interest in, but I wondered who the insider was. A director, a billionaire heir even, as it turns out, and he had a long series of sales of that particular share. No purchases. It may be someone who is about to retire; I didn’t look into it because it did not interest me. I like trying to spot patterns and increase my understanding, that’s all.
And yes, my life has really been a nightmare since I moved to Portsmouth. How on earth can you function in today’s world when someone keeps you in an electronic cage and controls and sabotages so many aspects of your life? I don’t even know who it is, who is doing this to me, although I do think it’s more than one person. Has to be but I often talk about “him” and “he”. I used to think I knew who it was, but that could be possible logistically, and then it started looking as if it was one other specific person, but the truth of the matter is that I have no clue because a hacker can literally be anyone and can pretend to be anyone else and there’ve certainly been lots of smoke and mirror games as well, so how the fuck would I know who the fuck is doing this to me.
Portsmouth being such a vicious place hasn’t exactly helped either. Folks like Vernon Jackson and various folks around me have in fact okayed my abuse by condoning it, by pretending that it isn’t happening, that I’m just a demented or learning-disabled old cow.
The level of blind hate in Portsmouth is horrific. I encountered some of it again, yesterday (and also something unpleasant again today, yes, from strangers who think they know me). It’s something you can always count on herein Portsmouth, that ugly hate. It always pops up again. The contempt. Sometimes, it’s the horrible, ice-cold, I’d-stab-you-in-the-heart-bitch-if-I could-Pompey-flavor contempt. It comes from people I know absolutely nothing about, let alone why they have so much contempt for me. It’s always around. Always. When you forget about it for a moment, there it suddenly is again, rearing its ugly head when you don’t expect it.
Portsmouth is an awful place. Brimming with blind contempt and discontent.
A thought: Could my hacker(s) see blocking my access to an online event as my “punishment” for having signed up for a tai chi session on Sunday and not having attended it? Then again, he has issues in the run-up to Easter and even more so in the run-up to Christmas. Well, he always has issues but in those periods, they are worse. More likely, his goal is to try to make me believe that some people are deliberately sending me incomplete information, “hiding” things from me and ignoring me or worse, have it in for me. (ha ha) Has previously done that with local folks, with scientists who I used to know etc etc, and also the opposite at times (e-mails that made no sense and would only have represented a waste of precious time for the folks in question if they had been genuine). It’s also possible that he genuinely does not understand why I do certain things and wants to control me as if I am like a three-year-old, but I doubt it.
People like Anne are British citizens who should simply receive the pensions that they’d built up in the UK, like any other British citizen, without any deductions and with the corrections for inflation etc.
Extradited from the US forty years later, for a case to do with a pub brawl, for a crime for which he was acquitted and of which the judge said “that he did not know why the case had been brought after so many years”.
It works both ways, though, and, of course, with a bias. You’re more likely to be a high earner when your parents were high earners and you’re more likely to be earning little when your parents’ income was low.
9.4% who had parents in the highest income group (20%) are poor 25 years later, while 38.5% of them are in the 20% with the highest incomes. 21% of those whose parents had the lowest incomes (20%) are poor 25 years later while under 15% are among the highest-earning 20% then.
Visually, it looks as follows (red = parents with lowest incomes, blue = parents with highest incomes).
The UK Performs Poorly When it Comes to Social Mobility. Here’s How it Can Improve
The article below is from the Goldman Sachs BRIEFINGS newsletter of 07 April 2022.
Compared with other countries, the most disadvantaged in the U.K. are less likely to climb the income ladder and the economically advantaged tend to stay at the top. Covid-19 has increased inequality further, and recent rises in inflation, especially energy costs, are intensifying the problem. In a recent report, Goldman Sachs Research has taken a closer look at the issue, investigating what needs to be done to improve mobility and opportunity for people in the U.K. We sat down with authors of the research, Goldman Sachs’ European Strategist Sharon Bell and Chief U.K. Economist Steffan Ball, to discover more.
The Welsh first minister has spoken of his emotion at the “contemporary resonances” he perceived in a letter written by a 15th-century Prince of Wales envisioning a country free from the rule of the “barbarous” English.
During a visit to France, Mark Drakeford said he was moved by the Pennal letter sent by Owain Glyndŵr to the king of France, Charles VI, in 1406 asking for help in his fight against English rule.
Drakeford was shown the original of the letter at the French national archive in Paris during a trip aimed at strengthening political, business, cultural and sporting links between Wales and France.
That’s what I got on my screen just now. The text continued as follows.
I’ve just found out I was included in a government Mis/Disinformation Report for sharing a petition from the official Parliamentary petitions website.
And it’s clear that I’m not the only one.
Big Brother Watch research has found that secretive government units have been monitoring and recording criticism of the Government on social media. Politicians, academics, campaigners, journalists and even members of the public have been subjected to monitoring by Whitehall officials, and an “information warfare machine” in the British Army. Worryingly, many of these units have a special relationship with social media companies which gives them powers to force the censorship of online speech. The government’s Counter Disinformation Unit censors and monitors dissent, not disinformation, without due process or transparency. It should be shut down.
The Counter Disinformation Unit has overstepped the mark. Whilst the public think they’re fighting disinformation from hostile foreign states, Big Brother Watch’s investigation reveals that they’re acting just like those authoritarian states by monitoring campaigners, experts, journalists and MPs who post unflattering information about them. Monitoring critics and suppressing dissent only harms our democracy.
Government units are working in the shadows to keep tabs on people like you and me.
I am very likely to be in this database too, then.
It might explain the odd behaviors I’ve gotten from UK customs officials on my most recent two returns from abroad. They clearly had information about me in a database that they looked at and one of them added information to it. The other one tauntingly held on to my passport when he reached out to give it back to me. Pretending that he was going to confiscate it?
Before I moved to the UK, I had gotten highly used to living in a democracy.
The UK has been downgraded in an annual global index of civic freedoms as a result of the government’s “increasingly authoritarian” drive to impose restrictive and punitive laws on public protests.
This obviously erodes the UK government’s credibility when it speaks out against similar ongoings in countries like Hungary and South Africa or even, for example, China.
I should probably point out that I cannot rule out the possibility that my phones and my computers at times are being used for something highly illegal (such as spying on women and selling or sharing of the images and videos), but if so, there is nothing I can do about it.
Every time there is a new item about for example someone going to prison for 21 months because of such matters, I can’t help but wonder whose thighs and crotch where in those many files on my computer.
For years, I’ve reported a lot of the stuff that’s been going on, to the police and to others. The police, and many others, also know about the lock-picking. So I am in the clear. Period.
Why have I off and on had so much trouble WALKING since I moved into this flat? Why did this get so horribly dramatic before the end of last year? And why am I once again suddenly very unwell and can I barely walk? I’ve often blamed it on my gallbladder or on hay fever, but that no longer adds up.
Why did someone once let me know that I had “kidney disease that wasn’t manifesting yet“?
I thought the person was angry about – or making fun rather of – the fact that my GP having left a box (for kidney function which can also an indication of the functioning of other organs such as the heart) ticked in the form when he ordered a blood analysis for me back in 2016 or 2017. But was that really the case?
In fact, I had no idea what it was about until that same woman at my GP practice – you know, that one – made a pretty big fuss about it when I collected the results. (A year later, I discovered that she was part of the gang here in town that had and has been making my life a living hell for so long.)
And why did – with no connection to the above – two people e-mail me to tell me that I needed Mg for my muscles???
In a town in which people literally have tried to get me to commit suicide, I have to ask such questions.
I just discovered that someone today quietly climbed up the stairs to my flat, and slightly pulled out a box on top of my Christmas tree so that I would notice – because of the light above it – that this card below had been left underneath it, folded.
(hacker(s) at it as I am typing this; that is, seem(s) to have reprogrammed an arrow key on my keyboard, which he toggles, ha ha ha. It’s been acting up throughout the day and the fan did its stupid deliberate gearing up – wind – too a few times)
This used to be at my door upstairs. I had stuck it on the wall next to the front door as well but it got removed instantly and very deliberately stepped on. I had found these cards at the local CAB where I got… wait for it… never mind.
When I moved to Portsmouth in 2009, my today and tomorrow went up in smoke. Only yesterday was left from that point onward.
“This panel discussion will be chaired by our CEO Jemima Olchawski, who will be joined by (left to right): Natasha Devon MBE, writer, presenter and activist; Janaya Walker, Public Affairs Manager, End Violence Against Women Coalition; and Elliott Rae, speaker author and social changemaker.”
I’ve been detecting that exact same tone too for some years.
The UK is not a place in which foreigners can feel perfectly safe.
Personally, I was met with xenophobic hostility from the beginning, in 2004. I didn’t recognize it for what it was at first. I thought that people were just disorganized (unprofessional) or just plain weird. Thankfully, not everyone was hostile, but by contrast, my experiences in the US were very different. The times were different too, sure, and Donald Trump has not helped and I’ve seen changes in people I used to know in the US too, I’ve seen two of them become more xenophobic, but I doubt that the US is as hostile as the UK these days.
Those of you locals who still think that I have dementia, am delusional, learning-disabled or what not and am making up the idea of voice cloning may want to read:
Some of my Dutch WhatsApp calls were recorded in the past. It worried the other person on the calls too when I mentioned it because it was just really really odd. It happened two or three times that I couldn’t make the call unless I okayed its recording but the recordings did not end up on my equipment. I no longer use WhatsApp. The person I was on the calls with once reported me missing to Dutch police after hacking interference with e-mails related to my third attempt to escape from Portsmouth, but he did that in person. He went to a police station.
On one occasion, “he” e-mailed me and told me to travel to Florida, wrote that I could stay at his place until I had worked things out with my friend in “Saratoga”. First of all, he was referring to Sarasota and second, it’s not even Saratoga but Saratoga Springs, which third is many miles away from Florida which a geologist, Brown and West Point graduate and former US Army Major would most certainly know (and I was not working anything out with any person in Florida either, by the way).
It is not the kind of typo you make unless perhaps if you have a strong connection to the other place, which he does not.
We are no longer in contact and he ain’t stupid. NO need to go try and scam him, you scammers out there.
Four houses in Rotterdam are in danger of collapsing and have been evacuated; the facades somehow became separated. Traffic needs to take a detour to avoid causing vibrations.
Thankfully, the danger was discovered in time. There were one or two loud bangs, and smoke, the latter likely having been dust. There are no cracks in the walls, so the facades “simply” need to be re-anchored asap. The cause of their detachment is not clear yet.
A funny coincidence is that just a few streets from me, a house did collapse in December and the house next-door collapsed partially. Two people were taken to hospital. Cause? The mains cause was likely low-quality bricks, said Portsmouth City Council.
Just listening to this initially made me very nervous (because I too want my life back, though my story is very different).
I am so pleased that her friends and family were there for her when she got out of the relationship.
There is so so much that I recognize, the not knowing what to do, the contradictions in one’s own behavior and attitude, and particularly also the identity crisis, because your entire life has basically revolved around this for sooooo long and you no longer know what it is like to be able to live without constantly having to brace yourself… You need to go through a healing process and that can only begin after the stalking stops. After a rape, the healing process can begin immediately. Not with stalking. Unless the person dies, indeed, you never know when it’s really over.
Most police officers have NO IDEA what being stalked does to a person. No fucking idea.
You will have to watch this on YouTube. The two creators of this podcast (which has a video version on YouTube) are very strict about a lot of stuff. I am sure that’s because they learned a lot of things the hard way.
I know EXACTLY where it’s been coming from for all these years.
Unfortunately, the local police are as corrupt and misogynistic as hell as well (as is almost everyone else in this vile sadistic shit show of a town so it’s not as if it’s anything unusual).
Thankfully, I saw it coming and wasn’t gonna fall for the trap.
Important market data coming up, but as they can log into my trading account, press buttons in my account and do other shit, they can cause a lot of havoc and they love it. They love causing as much frustration as possible, love thwarting what you want to do. (So, no, to spell it out, I didn’t trade the data.)
This abuse is vile and sadistic. Intended to hurt. Intended to cause as much loss in my life as possible, of any kind, from my cherished possessions in the US to my friends, colleagues and clients.
Also intended to manipulate and fool folks.
Nothing positive or well-intentioned about it whatsoever.
Incel-style misogyny. Targeted at independent feminists. At strong women.
(I am not the only female business owner who’s been targeted in this town. I’m also not the only foreign business owner who’s been targeted in this town and whose business got killed in this town. The city council prefers to pretend that none of this is happening.)
I’d tried to download the latest custom software earlier (to see if I could get 2FA to work in that), and couldn’t. There had to be a reason for that, for not being able to download it. Has worked before, after all and there is no reason why it should not work, but all I got was a white page this time, no matter what I tried.
So I didn’t do what they hoped I would do.
So then they tried to trick me into it, possibly, as follows.
Computer fan started gearing up like crazy for no reason in the run up to the data
(they’ve done that many times before, also in connection with market data, yes; my hacking includes a great deal of hardware-hacking, rather than just software-hacking)
So I closed everything down and rebooted
Turned out to have lost internet connection completely (I know why)
Saw my phone signal – I tether via wifi because I have to – in the air in duplicate (my computer saw two instances, yes; I suspect that they’ve tricked my computer into logging into the wrong one) and a new wifi signal called “sourov” (I’m the foreign danger)
I’d earlier (this morning) already gotten some stupid “nah nah nah nah nah” stuff
(They also sometimes feed me false information, just for the lulz)
Why they don’t just kill me? Nah, much more fun to slowly torture someone to death in all sorts of ways.
17:45: I ended up spending another 75 bucks on fighting this sadistic bullshit again. Besides the loss of income, it also costs me quite a bit of money in terms of constantly being forced to buy new equipment to try to keep this malicious interference out of my life. If I don’t at least try, I might as well commit suicide on the spot, goddammit.
Een uur later: 15 jaar achterlijke Engelse terreur. Ik ben die terreur ZO ONTIEGELIJK ZAT! Het is echt pure terreur. Als je hier een tijd woont, snap je volkomen hoe de IRA is ontstaan. (Natuurlijk zie ik dat echter als een waardevol inzicht. Je ziet hier ook veel spanning tussen Schotland en Engeland.) Godsamme, wat zijn die Engelsen sadistisch. Die gaan echt zonder blikken of blozen over lijken. Het komt me allemaal zo mijn strot uit! Maar ze zijn ook vaak stekeblind en steendoof, kennelijk, denken dat ze gewoon over anderen heen kunnen lopen en dat anderen dan braaf “dankjewel” zullen zeggen dus dat moeten ze soms uitgelegd krijgen.
(Je wou soms echt dat je dood was. Ik heb op 13 december een klein incident met mijn hart gehad. Van de ene kant dacht ik toen dat ik nog helemaal niet dood wilde maar ik dacht ook dat als het zo verder moet, ik dan echt niet meer wil en ik echt klaar ben met het leven en volkomen tot sterven bereid. De dood doet me helemaal niets meer, het idee om dood te zijn of dood te gaan. Er zitten voor mij alleen nog maar positieve kanten aan vast. Doodgaan lijkt me echt heerlijk.)
(Ik heb hier lang geleefd met een heel grote voorraad paracetamol. Zo hield ik het vol, wetend dat als ik de terreur echt niet meer aan kon en ik geen microgrammetje hoop meer had voor een betere toekomst ik die paracetamol kon grijpen. Zo heb ik hier jaren geleefd, met een hoop paracetamol als een soort god of troost of verlossing of wat dan ook, als steun. Ik heb die pillen een tijd geleden weggemieterd; ze waren inmiddels erg oud en je gaat niet per se dood van een berg paracetamol als die voor jou toevallig niet groot genoeg blijkt te zijn.)
(Momenteel gebruiken ze trouwens het, mogelijk Russische, jongetje en zijn maat en zijn vriendin in de flat onder mij om me te “na te doen”, anderszins in de zeik te zetten en me te terroriseren. Ze denken dat ik achterlijk ben dus doe ik of mijn neus bloed. (Hij zal het ook wel zijn die tegenwoordig de sloten pikt, dan.) Vandaag, toen ik de computer uitzette en vervolgens zag wat er precies in de lucht was, deed hij – althans, een jongeman in die flat – luidkeels alsof hij moest braken en toen rende hij de woning uit; het hacken gaat te opvallend vaak gepaard met het in- en uitrennen van jonge lieden in de flat onder me en het stroomcircuit wordt gebruikt om mijn offline computer te benaderen; ja, zo van de pot gerukt zijn ze bezig, die plaatselijke klootzakken. Daarvoor was het die bullebak Danny boy, een hacker en gamer, maar ik geloof niet dat hij veel meer kon dan in oude en dus volledig onbeschermde mobiels hacken. Hij was niet al te snugger; hij deed braaf wat hem aan de telefoon werd gezegd dat hij moest doen (ik hoorde hem een keer, toevallig). Die rotzooide echter ook met mijn post; ik heb hem een keer op heterdaad betrapt. Ik denk dat hij aan de hackmeister doorgaf wat voor post ik kreeg en dat ze dan keken of daar op de een of andere manier mee te rotzooien was, zoiets. Maar er zit ook een venijnige en mogelijk niet helemaal goed sporende postbode in het plaatselijke terreurnetwerk.)
PS locals, yeah, sure kids, 1 buck per month is way more than 20 bucks per day… I wish I could agree on that kind of arithmetic instead of on agreeing that your high-school education sucked pretty badly, apparently. But it ain’t that… It’s sheer malice, what’s behind it.
Just spent another 40 pounds, turned out to be completely wasted.
Haven’t seen it on the sites of CNN, the BBC and The Guardian. Weird!!!
Updated on 4 March:
Shorter was nominated for 23 Grammy Awards and won 12. His first nomination was in 1973. His most recent win was in January 2023, for best improvised jazz solo performance (“Endangered Species”).
However, CNN and The Guardian apparently did not consider his death world news or breaking news. By contrast, Dutch NOS news did and posted it on 2 March 2023. (It was one of the first things I read after I woke up on 3 March.) By this morning, on 4 March 2023, the BBC had put it on the front page of its site too, but it was not there yesterday.
I usually visit the sites of The Guardian and the BBC about 5 times per day, if not more, and the CNN site 2 or 3, if not more. I visit the NOS site a lot because it often has more global and general news and a more neutral tone than the BBC site and the site of The Guardian.
Boris Alexander de Pfeffel Johnson. This worm should shut up and crawl back into the woodwork. I have had more than enough of his vile hate-mongering, too. Isn’t even capable of tying his shoes, for crying out loud. Too fucking complicated for him.
All he does is sow hate and division.
CNN’s recently written about how the country is still reeling from the results of his disasters and there he is, popping up again with his stupid inane bullshit. Enough!
That guy too, now that’s what I call fucking demented.
I have no more patience for bullshit. None.
As a result of Johnson’s demented bullshit, Britain is falling behind further and further and further. Poland and Slovenia are overtaking it.
Yep, dude, that IS called “taking back control” and revealing the bullshit and chaos and incompetence for all the world to see. That is exactly what it is. Turning the country into a sinkhole. The sinkhole has control of itself. Sure.
Everyone else avoids it.
(That’s what I call deluded and deranged, Mr Johnson. Or just plain greedy, if you look at it on a much smaller scale.)
The bigger picture is that the more we abuse and otherwise mess with other species and their habitats, the more it comes back to bite us humans.
That the US needs to find out whether China is into some secret biological warfare stuff, that I get, though.
(Why the US? It is the only other super power – Russia is mostly a big pain in the behind, not quite a superpower, albeit a worrisome pain in the behind – and it has a pretty big presence in that part of the world, as we saw on CNN the other day, when CNN crew was on board of that American plane that got intercepted by a Chinese fighter jet over the Taiwan Strait. The pilots said that they get this stuff all the time, that it was just another day at the office for them. That the US does that, has a presence there is to help protect Taiwan, but also the Philippines and other countries, as China tries to claim territories as well as waters that aren’t China’s, kinda like Russia is trying to claim Ukraine.)
