Someone came up the stairs, went into the flat and left again almost instantly. I suspect that all he did was close the kitchen window. The windows in the flat below are often wide open, in any kind of weather, and there was a lot of rain this evening.

I am a Dutch citizen who has been the target of relentless anonymous and sometimes not so anonymous abuse since I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. This has included physical attacks, a slogan on the wall, hacking, vandalism as well as lock-picking at two addresses in Portsmouth and animal cruelty. I used to report most of this, but that only made matters worse.

I have made four escape attempts from my abuse situation in recent years.

On my first attempt, I was intercepted by a police officer called Nikki. She took me back to my flat. As I have not been able (allowed) to support myself since I moved to Portsmouth, I had zero money and she found me walking along a highway near Portsmouth, with two suitcases.

I am a scientist. In 2019, after I came home to another incidence of vandalism inside my flat, a professor in the Netherlands contacted Gerald Vernon-Jackson on my behalf. I met with Vernon-Jackson who merely shrugged so nothing has changed.

I am currently being targeted from the flat under mine again (which currently has four or five different tenants). This has happened before over the years, but I have also witnessed before that someone else went into that flat when the tenant was not at home, so it is quite possible that someone else is going into the flat when nobody is home. For the record, I have also noticed a few ongoings that may indicate that there is drugs trafficking going on and that a pregnant woman is being used as a “front” of innocence. She gets shouted at a lot at times and something is certainly not right.

I just told them that if they kept harassing me, they were going to learn, and also not to dismiss me and terrorise me. That was followed by them targeting me again.

They seemed dirt-poor so I previously bought a doormat for them as the doormat that was there had disappeared. Because they and their visitors were constantly ringing the doorbells, I also had an extra set of keys made for them, but the ringing of the doorbells only stopped for a week or so. I thought that they were dirt-poor but I no longer believe that. There is something weird going on. They also seem to be targeting me particularly when the groundfloor neighbors are out. A coincidence?

This morning, I contacted a number of professional connections all over the world and asked them to start whipping up noise for me. I have been terrorised and far too many aspects of my life in Portsmouth sadistically controlled for nearly 15 years. I want my life back.

---

Added only here:

For the record, when I witnessed that someone else went into the flat, the tenant in question was not aware of that. (I mentioned it to him later; his name was Fancey.) He had just left; I was doing the dishes, saw him walk to his car and drive away. This was Easter Monday. (I think it was 2016, at around 1pm.) Shortly after, the doorbell rang and someone let himself or herself into the flat.

Previous tenants on the groundfloor were burgled shortly after they moved in, apparently by someone who picked the locks or who let themselves in with a key. Those tenants moved out the same day. The present tenants moved in next.

I have witnessed drug sales taking place outside, although this may have become less frequent in recent years. My curiosity was simply triggered by strange behaviors of people and cars so I ended up watching what exactly was going on. I have also seen people shoot up outside.

There has been drugs trafficking in the other building at this address; the people in that flat also harassed one of the other tenants (Croucher). Police intervened at some point.

There have been similar problems with tenants on the ground floor there (in the other building), but that seems to have stopped after a while. Loads of different people walking in and out and some harassment. I don’t know if there was drugs trafficking going on in that situation too. (I did report something to the council but they said that it was a matter for the police.)

The police, a we all know are worse than utterly useless, but what else can I do other than once again contact the police?

We have an equally useless landlord who could not care less and whose offices moved to a different location without telling us. It has no doorbell and no option for leaving postal mail.

The current folks in the flat under me may be Albanian. I have read that a lot of Albanian people are in terribly abusive situations here in the UK.

I am now starting to suspect that their abuse is not linked to the usual vile shit here in Portsmouth but is intended to protect themselves (in view of criminal activities, why else) and intimidate me.

I don’t know if the folks in the flat under me are aware of this website. (Next day: no, they are not. Something the woman said to me yesterday.)

They said that they were going to call the police about me and a guy who I had never seen before until today turned out to be standing behind the door to record me. (Different young guys, in different but similar-looking small grey and silver cars.) Except, there was nothing to call the police about. They opened the door when I came up the stairs. They attacked me verbally, but it first sounded as if she was going to apologize to me.

(The previous tenant used to do shit like that too – and other shit – because he thought that I was afraid of his dog.)

17:20: Have also now contacted a charity that helps Albanians in trouble.

20:42: They must be so pissed off that I installed an alarm on the front door because their visitors were constantly leaving it open. The alarm going off was getting them noticed by the motorcycle shop folks, I bet, the fact that there are different young guys walking in and out. That may be why they ramped up their crap against me? They now keep switching the alarm off. It’s not the folks on the ground-floor who are doing it.

---

When I was living in Amsterdam, there was drugs activity right next to me. I had no idea. I was clueless. Even though neighbors had told me that there had been drugs activity before (which is why they barged into my attic one day, when I was looking after a rescued stray cat who was still much too feral at that point and they’d clearly become suspicious), when the cops showed up, I still was clueless. I said something to one of the cops and he realized how clueless I was, gave me an indulgent (I suppose) smile but said nothing. It did not match what I had said.

There too, there were lots of comings and goings, but we didn’t have a wooden staircase (very common in England). That young woman, too, had been pregnant, apparently. That young woman too rang my doorbell once, claiming to have lost or forgotten her keys and I got a weird vibe at the time, that I couldn’t place. She said that she’d been to the hospital, had had a miscarriage. Perhaps. But knowing what I know now, had she been beaten or something, perhaps? She wore a kind of robe that had some blood on it. We called the fire brigade who helped her onto her balcony, wearing my old teal-green Cool Cat jogging pants, which she never returned. I laundered the robe, and left it at her door, but she then hung it on my door handle.

Is this similar to what is going on in the flat below? The vibe I get from the woman is similar. Hard to say why. Hard to describe, too. Aggressive? Defiant? Pliable and merely doing as told? She comes across as a puppet, somehow. I can’t put my finger on it what exactly it is, but the different young men and the different but similar cars and the shouting, the comings and goings without a pattern… it does not seem normal.

But it’s hard to tell.

---

I took the doormat away, by the way. Instead of confronting these young folks about various issues, I had decided to support them quietly, that is, in a way that made things easier for me as it would remedy the issues that way. Portsmouth is often like a war zone and it becomes exhausting and is also at times quite scary always having to confront people here. The fact that they are now harassing me more sort of caused the doormat to mock me every time I walked past it. Childish, yes.

In the meantime, they’ve purchased a vacuum cleaner anyway so there is no longer all the debris in front of their door anyway. That is why I got the doormat: to catch that debris. It looked like plant matter, by the way. Dried plant matter.

And I am getting fucked with again by my hacker(s).

Says Google, on the basis of my IP address. I am not using a VPN.

I sent an e-mail to 11 addresses all over the world this morning, with a bcc to 5 more addresses (two of which are local), asking for help. The stupid English class system means that I have no access to anyone in England on my own and get dismissed as a lying migrant or a delusional old cow or because I am a woman.

I’ve had enough of the abuse. I want my life back. In England, with its bonkers class system, that means that I need to ask powerful people for help because individuals like me have zero power here and can be abused relentlessly without any fear of repercussion for the abusers.

My phone is no longer on vibrate but now very loud instead.

All but one of the phones that I have pawned to Cash Converters to survive in recent years and then retrieved again mysteriously stopped working for a short while after I retrieved them.

The URL in my Twitter bio has changed from a URL shortlink to the full URL this morning. That strikes me as odd because I can’t explain it from an IT view other than that someone has high-jacked my internet access again.

Someone came upstairs after having rung my doorbell. That’s the 3rd time this week someone from that flat woke me up in the middle of the night. It’s the same person who was rummaging around last evening. Same voice.

04:30 night of 21 and 22 March

00:30 last night (night of 23 and 24 March)

02:34 tonight (night of 24 and 25 March)

03:04 the vibration symbol on my phone has disappeared again; see earlier post

There was also the Friday evening (7 February) when someone rang my doorbell at 10:00 pm for a long time and tried to break the front door down. That lasted for about half an hour, I reckon.

These are the folks who I had already given a set of extra keys because they kept ringing the doorbell as they didn’t have the money to have keys made for all the people who are using that flat. It helped only for about a week, but overall, it has kept the doorbell ringing down.

The veritable army of folks who go into the flat under mine and target me seem to be doing this when they know that the downstairs neighbors are away.

Continue reading →

It’s been quiet on my screens and equipment the rest of the day. One e-mail came in twice this morning – no, not on gmail – and that was likely “him” trying to alert me to something, after the fact, by way of explanation for something that had happened in the world, something that I had missed because I was too busy figuring out what the fuck was being done on yet another fucking phone.

(Yes, he does that sometimes, get the same mail to me 2 to 10 times.)

I’m a wreck and all I did today was watch videos, basically, and cry a tiny little bit.

(Wasn’t much else I could do anyway, though.)

This anonymous abuse, this immense control of so many aspects of my life, it’s killing me. It’s been going on for nearly 15 years. That’s fucking unbelievable. Started slow, increasingly geared up.

18:35: I wish I were dead. I wish this fucking sadistic hell were over, this vile sadistic control of my life, and the vile hostility of Portsmouth. The stupid relentless hate. All of it.

18:56: I did get yet another email about the covid volunteering today and I got two from the Cooperative Bank, and just now one about writing my will but nothing at all today that had much relevance. I also just got this again after I decided to reboot my computer:

 
I had rebooted because the computer was suddenly sluggish and after the (warm) reboot I got this for Twitter, which I also had gotten two or three days ago, also after a reboot. Four minutes later, at 19:00, I heard the hdd rattle, I couldn’t type here any longer, and I had to flip the power switch again, but I could not see any actual evidence of someone doing stuff. After the second reboot, Twitter gave no errors; I ascribe the will-writing ad that I got in my Twitter stream then to sheer coincidence.

1 April 2023: I think that these Twitter errors are actually caused by a browser shortlink error. Good.

About ten minutes ago, I discovered that Bluetooth had been switched on (without the symbol for it showing) and my phone had been put on vibrate, sound off. I noticed a symbol with three squiggly lines that I didn’t recognize, so I started exploring. (The symbol reminded me a little of the symbol for the Dutch police, btw.) I can’t switch it off because then apparently, I will not get sound notification either. I could and did switch bluetooth off.

That’s the old one, the phone that I use for wifi tethering these days because the two modern ones stopped doing internet access around Christmas.

I know that “bluetooth” has an urban slang meaning. I bet “vibrate” does too. A lot of the stuff that is done to me in Portsmouth later turns out to have had some urban slang meaning (usually for genitals or sex acts).

On the two phones that I had before the current four, I also often found bluetooth switched on.

I’ve also found the torch switched on as I was walking around town when the bluetooth had also been activated and the phone was in my pocket.

This is why I almost never have a phone on me.

This may be a good time to remind folks that there is someone out there who has a valid copy of my driving licence and several bank cards for me of which one or two will still look valid (expiry date in 2026). The driving licence can only be identified by its issue number but that is not printed on it…

I added and wrote this post on my computer, which is behaving normally right now.

09:44: I just tested; the vibration is loud enough to alert me, so I am going to leave things like this.

09:48: is this (login into something on my computer) a coincidence? Probably… (09:50: yes, looks like a mere coincidence)

---

It’s popped up before. (It popped up and then disappeared in a flash just now.)

You know what? The sun’s out and birds are singing. Plus, I am enjoying my morning coffee.

Cowardly grouchy Portsmouth can’t touch me either. I merely observe it and wonder how it all came about. It’s so weird.

That said, “monk parakeet, mum, poverty” comes from a toddler who is throwing his toys out of the pram, a recalcitrant teenager screaming insults or from someone who doesn’t have many emotions and is baffled by the emotions of others, therefore seeks to evoke them in order to study them.

Meanwhile, my brain’s ringing hasn’t stopped yet and has gotten louder again. So if you keep it up, chances are you will soon need a new guinea pig.

None of us get to create ourselves. We all just do the best with what we’ve got.

For the record, this hacker person (?) may see himself as a sea creature, a dolphin or a whale. Just in case this means anything to anyone out there.

11:08: Am not posting this from my computer.

I lost internet access at 10am, rebooted my old phone (I tether) and noticed that shit started slowing down ridiculously again when I was about to edit a text about what constitutes a life not worth living. Decided to stop doing that.

At 11am, the fan started gearing up again. I wasn’t doing anything at all on the computer. I decided to shut down the computer and found that it stayed on after it went black. This can be caused by a hacker-initiated process that is still running. Flipped the wall switch again.

This sort of nonsense also used to happen on my older computer that I have had at this residence. Different architecture.

12:24: The computer fan suddenly gearing up also sometimes happens when I am at the public library, sometimes on the computer that I am on (sometimes after I’ve logged off) and sometimes on an idle (not being used at all) computer next to me. At the library, I have also had brief screen blackouts that indicate that a second monitor is being activated that has the same account on the screen and I’ve had at times indications that I wasn’t actually on the library’s computer network.

The same stuff also happened on my older computer. The gearing up of the fan has sometimes been used to indicate anger. The “wind” gearing up. (There’s also been something about doors closing and opening a lot, which was ascribed to the wind doing that, too.) One time, I had a complete circus going on with both my computers doing really weird shit, one beeping and rebooting like crazy and the other one’s screen went haywire, too, and then the printer suddenly started spewing blank pages. It stopped abruptly, after I shot off an e-mail about what was going on and how childish it was, from my phone, to a friend in the States. Around Easter last year, both my computers were disabled for weeks after I wrote online about the stuff that was going on. Then they suddenly were working again and then stopped again for a week or so. Around Christmas, two of my phones stopped going online and one English SIM card and my Dutch card were suddenly asking for PUK codes. A little later, at the public library, someone kept opening the web page that I had written about what goes on in Portsmouth, so apparently, it was all punishment for that. I am supposed to keep my mouth shut.

13:58: Am utterly exhausted again. Whoever it is who keeps terrorizing and sabotaging me, I’m fed up.

14:24: Here we go again. I sent two e-mails, from two different addresses, both got blocked/rejected by an agency I have never been in contact with before and I can’t use their web-based contact form either. (See images below)

1. (Purpose: marketing/promotion/reaching out with small bit of free assistance)

2. Computer froze again when arrow cursor changed into hand in this post, am posting these two paragraphs not from computer.

(This is what my life has been like A LOT since I moved from Southampton to Portsmouth. Police know all about it, and so does the city council. Too often being unable to reach anyone and lots of other crap.)

14:50: Tried a second e-mail address that is listed on the agency’s website and I get the same result.

So I wrote to “postmaster”. Same result!

14.57: So then I wrote to postmaster@mailchannels.net and told them that their email was down. This had an effect on what was happening on my screen and I can also suddenly type normally again. Haven’t heard back yet.

15:00: no, no response from mailchannels.net yet but it does feel like whoever the hell was in my computer cleared the heck out when I sent THAT e-mail. Everything seems to be working normally again all of a sudden (much faster).

15:02: Response from Ameer at mailchannels.net, as follows: “I am a little confused with your query. Please let me know whether you are facing any mail delivery issue, and if that is the case please update us with the bounce message or sender/recipient/subject detail so that I will be able to help you further.”

 
Meanwhile, yep, computer considerably faster, no delays in typing either. (Someone got out of my equipment to be able to pretend to be “Ameer”?)

Headers of most recent rejection response:

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Headers first rejection response:

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Your message to xxx@xxxx.xxx has been blocked. See technical details below for more information.



The response from the remote server was:
550 5.4.1 Recipient address rejected: Access denied. AS(201806281) [AM7EUR03FT062.eop-EUR03.prod.protection.outlook.com 2023-03-23T13:58:07.997Z 08DB2A521F9D928E]

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18:40: I merely got more nonsense after that. This, by the way, was not the only thing that happened. Something else was deleted too (besides the text in the next post). This morning. In an account for which the 2FA mysteriously enough won’t work.

Following morning at 7:00: Still no reply, but there is a “last chance” email and a “final hours” email and one about the relocation of horses in a nearby county (which I deleted). Last evening, there still was an email from the mayor of London (about Ramadan) and one from Futurism.

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What happened with yesterday’s online meeting has happened several times before. There was for example a meeting in the UK that got postponed, about policing and the prevention of violence in communities, organised by a consultancy firm. I noticed that a webpage about it contained different date information when I looked at it on different equipment that I had just bought (not locally and out of sight of island locals) and was using at a Starbucks. Then, too, when the meeting took place, there was no link to access the meeting.

21:11: Still no reply (and the page just moved down again, and the cursor went to the highlighted word “sabotage”, which could be and likely was a mere innocent hiccup). The emails from lady freethinker etc arrive in periods; sometimes there are none at all for a long time and then they suddenly start coming in again. They’re often about dogs.

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20:39: Crap going on on my HDD and here (on this page). Time to reboot again. (yeah, had to flip the power switch on the wall again)

20:13: Believe it or not, in spite of all this interference, I am still managing to start earning a little bit of money again, after I had protested so loudly and vehemently against all the horrific abuse last year that really scared me to death because it was so immensely sadistic and very deliberate sabotage. I was terrified, utterly terrified. Staff at Asda have seen me look utterly petrified with fear at some point, after that particular sabotage began. What is going on in my life, what is being done to me, is so utterly utterly vile. (And just now, at 20:23, this page moved down again all by itself.)

19:46: Here we go again and no, there is nothing on the page that indicates that any changes are being carried out or whatever and yes, this is gmail, and this bit has no aura reading stuff in it, but as you can see, nothing particularly useful either and zero replies; these were e-mails I received today between 2.14 and 5.30pm). There was one earlier mail, received at 2:04 pm from Campaign Legal Center about a webinar tomorrow. I haven’t checked if I can actually sign up for this one; the topic is not of interest to me.

---

See immediately below for the explanation of the next two images.  Michael Ashley Stein is a disability advocate. A video of the event will likely be posted on YouTube later but that’s not the same as attending in real time, when you can ask questions and exchange links or other information.

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17:09: Another online meeting, of which I have attended many before, for which there is no option on the page to sign up this time. A mere coincidence? An error on the side of the organizer in other words? New staff? Have contacted the organizer via two separate channels. No reply yet. I’ve corresponded with them via both channels before. (19:00: Still haven’t heard back from them, on either channel, which is out of character and the event is in an hour, so yep, my outgoing comms are getting fucked with again or the page has gotten messed with and I was once again looking at an adapted mirror of it – I know exactly how that might work as I’ve used httrack – and sounded like an idiot.) (I also keep getting e-mails to do with a Covid volunteering app that I can’t even install any longer, apart from the fact that 12 to 18 months have passed in the meantime. See one of the above images.)

16:46: Yep, had also ended up with another empty remote file again.

16:30ish: Definitely in my computer again, I noticed (and yes, sometimes I can tell for certain, just like I used to be able to tell when “they” were in the phone that I bought in 2009 when the thing would suddenly light up all by itself, which they couldn’t see and I kept quiet about), after I rebooted by flipping the power button because shit had started freezing again.

10:51: Yep, definitely bizarre local nonsense going on again in town (and now also on my computer again, methinks).

Yep, ordering my files by date suddenly has gone haywire (while my arrow keys are working normally again) and I am now getting ads for bariatric surgery in Turkey (on Finviz); this is starting to sound similar to what I got throughout 2010. (In case you don’t know this, several people have just died within this very specific surgery context.)

And when I searched for it to make sure it is indeed the same kind of surgery, I got this again, on my computer, in a browser window that is wider than my screen, and no, I don’t normally get this:

Look what posting the above resulted in next:

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6:35: Yep.

Possibly including the old childish “let’s wake her up in the middle of the night” games being played in the flat immediately under mine? 🤣 Where the current tenant has done things like discard tissues in wall decorations around Christmas and open the door when I walk by and… never mind, it’s too childish for words. (Anyway, I am knackered today.) (This nonsense also seems to coincide with front doors being left open again, by the way. Coincidence? I’ve installed an alarm as the ground-floor neighbors weren’t happy with finding the door standing open either, but someone keeps switching it off. If the alarm is on, at least we are alerted to it when the damn door is left standing open again and we can go close it.)

• As most of my incoming and outgoing emails are being captured and stopped and/or altered and/or redirected, and my STAT mails among many other things aren’t arriving any longer in my gmail, I signed up to STAT news with a different email address. The confirmation email arrived along with a second confirmation email for a legit book publishing service that I signed up for some time ago (Kobo). It was marked as already having been read but was dated the same day. If it’s some kind of cryptic “message” again, well, I am not getting it. I don’t speak the local vernacular.
• What I still get on my Gmail address is 99.9 per cent junk on most days now. The remainder is mostly Amazon emails, XR emails, Veem mails and the like.
• I also just received an invitation for a legit public health webinar that I don’t even have access to. Ha ha.
• Some webpages have been asking me for my location again and the home page on this site have been forcing me to click “leave” again.
• On this website, when I am writing a post or amending a page, the arrow keys often have been reprogrammed. The back arrow initially was taking me to the end of the word. Then this stopped for a while – it was working normally – after which instead of moving the cursor one space to the left it took me to the end of the paragraph.
• The angle grinder ads (signaling that I am about to get my head cut off?) seem to have been replaced by car rental ads (and the tool bars and toolbox in one of my programs – one that has gotten messed with a lot for about a year – now constantly gets removed).
• Prince’s most beautiful girl is popping up, too.

Right now, there is no interference. I can type normally – bliss – and my arrow keys are working normally too. Everything else is fine too at the moment.

PS
In case anyone wonders why I’m not showing what I was looking at on Finviz (the screenshot with the ad box), that’s just because I don’t want to give anyone the wrong ideas. I happened to be looking at one particular insider trading event, out of sheer curiosity, because the size was HUGE and so was the amount of money involved. It concerns a stock I have zero interest in, but I wondered who the insider was. A director, a billionaire heir even, as it turns out, and he had a long series of sales of that particular share. No purchases. It may be someone who is about to retire; I didn’t look into it because it did not interest me. I like trying to spot patterns and increase my understanding, that’s all.

And yes, my life has really been a nightmare since I moved to Portsmouth. How on earth can you function in today’s world when someone keeps you in an electronic cage and controls and sabotages so many aspects of your life? I don’t even know who it is, who is doing this to me, although I do think it’s more than one person. Has to be but I often talk about “him” and “he”. I used to think I knew who it was, but that could be possible logistically, and then it started looking as if it was one other specific person, but the truth of the matter is that I have no clue because a hacker can literally be anyone and can pretend to be anyone else and there’ve certainly been lots of smoke and mirror games as well, so how the fuck would I know who the fuck is doing this to me.

Portsmouth being such a vicious place hasn’t exactly helped either. Folks like Vernon Jackson and various folks around me have in fact okayed my abuse by condoning it, by pretending that it isn’t happening, that I’m just a demented or learning-disabled old cow.

The level of blind hate in Portsmouth is horrific. I encountered some of it again, yesterday (and also something unpleasant again today, yes, from strangers who think they know me). It’s something you can always count on herein Portsmouth, that ugly hate. It always pops up again. The contempt. Sometimes, it’s the horrible, ice-cold, I’d-stab-you-in-the-heart-bitch-if-I could-Pompey-flavor contempt. It comes from people I know absolutely nothing about, let alone why they have so much contempt for me. It’s always around. Always. When you forget about it for a moment, there it suddenly is again, rearing its ugly head when you don’t expect it.

Portsmouth is an awful place. Brimming with blind contempt and discontent.

---

A thought: Could my hacker(s) see blocking my access to an online event as my “punishment” for having signed up for a tai chi session on Sunday and not having attended it? Then again, he has issues in the run-up to Easter and even more so in the run-up to Christmas. Well, he always has issues but in those periods, they are worse. More likely, his goal is to try to make me believe that some people are deliberately sending me incomplete information, “hiding” things from me and ignoring me or worse, have it in for me. (ha ha) Has previously done that with local folks, with scientists who I used to know etc etc, and also the opposite at times (e-mails that made no sense and would only have represented a waste of precious time for the folks in question if they had been genuine). It’s also possible that he genuinely does not understand why I do certain things and wants to control me as if I am like a three-year-old, but I doubt it.

I should probably point out that I cannot rule out the possibility that my phones and my computers at times are being used for something highly illegal (such as spying on women and selling or sharing of the images and videos), but if so, there is nothing I can do about it.

Every time there is a new item about for example someone going to prison for 21 months because of such matters, I can’t help but wonder whose thighs and crotch where in those many files on my computer.

For years, I’ve reported a lot of the stuff that’s been going on, to the police and to others. The police, and many others, also know about the lock-picking. So I am in the clear. Period.

Continue reading →

Stupid sadist.